Forgotten Entity

2009-12-16T01:55:00.002+08:00

my emotions are in the way. i need to get them less active.

holidays half over. accomplished nothing, well thats pathetic.

well i learnt something new at least, a fallacy. i wonder if i'll ever become charismatic.

2009-09-20T11:52:00.001+08:00

i've been dreaming a lot these few days..

why?

why do i feel so terrible whenever i wake up?

2009-07-08T23:25:00.003+08:00

by the time i finish this post, it should be 11.30pm or so.

i wanted to remember this day, so i deliberately posted now.

of all 4 years in mayflower, people found out my birthday in the fourth year. so those wishes, i'm sorry if i ignored them. i'm just not used to people wishing me. i'm usually the one wishing others, i'm not independent. i can't be, i'm not suited to be..

but everyone has to be independent one day.

a huge thankyous to those who gave me presents. (never received gifts from friends for 3 years xD)

now now. time to sleep- there goes my birthday.

i found out how much a person's birthday mean to a person. it's his or her most precious day to remember, its a joy to share with people your happiness on that day, not to hide it from everyone and keep mum about it.

2009-06-30T21:57:00.002+08:00

hm. true self. its not that i never thought of it, maybe just that i never paid any attention to it. what i am to everyone, isn't who i am. those are just what i'm copying people. it's not that its a bad thing too. you shut your secrets away from everyone. at least for me, i don't want to be read like a book.

now is a question to myself, what exactly is my true self? over the years, i don't actually think i lived a life naturally. everything seems so- unnatural.

change? is there a way? i really don't know. i'm already 16. i'm leaving school for further education. but i don't even know what i'm supposed to do now, how can i think about what i'm going to do in the future?

2009-06-07T23:47:00.003+08:00

i found out i haven't been posting for ages.

just too lazy.

just changed my blogskin.. so, i decided to post something. o level preparation haven't actually started yet, for me. i just can't get down to work. feel like playing, whole day.

something's been bugging me a lot these few days.. i'm starting to forget how to think. how pitiful.

2009-04-16T22:19:00.002+08:00

SYF

hmm. i guess some have already heard... we got a gold? yeah i don't get it either.. well that limits my arrogance at least. no harm done.

i want the choir to know that a gold does not mean anything. don't get complacent and arrogant. count yourself lucky that the mistake we made was heard as a nice echo to the judges. good job anyway, i'm sure you did your best. those who knows the website of how the judges comment on us, you know its pity marks.

2009-04-08T19:10:00.000+08:00

2009-03-24T21:00:00.001+08:00

fuck. i failed my syf auditions.

2009-03-21T10:30:00.003+08:00

history repeats itself. just like 2 years ago, i had sore throat, broke my voice, relearnt all my pieces from tenor to bass. now its happening again. yesterday it was bad, but i could still sing, i mean when i really yawn and force. today, its all gone. at least i had fun yesterday, with zhonghua chorale.

now, i'm really pissed with choir. no sense of urgency. stupid noob school. anyhow put people into choir, esp those who can't sing well and don't want to sing. stupidity. mr chen, pls go talk to doris lim. i hate that woman, to the core.

i only hope we can even achieve a bronze.

2009-03-18T23:10:00.002+08:00

hmm lets see... holidays are halfway over.

homework list:

[x] - A Math

[x] - E Math

[x] - Social Studies

[x] - History

[x] - Chemistry

LOL! all not done. xD

friday busy. so i need to do tmr. omgg! chiong arh! lol

created friendster acc, everything seems so.. awkward. =\ and i dunno how to use. any nice and fun games to play there? someone intro me pls and thanks :D

hmm.. okay. recently seen some videos on this game called Race Driver GRID. downloading in process. but download speed is disappointing. =\

oh btw. i got A guitar. not mine, cousin's. but i'm going to change the strings. it somehow rusted. classical. i better start the basics. i don't wanna rush into things. later change to acoustic strings my hand too pain cannot play then waste money. =x

i'm trying to learn 彩虹 on guitar, but its my first time reading tabs. hard. =\ and i can somewhat strum a bit of 你那么爱她, in a different key. :D strumming ftw~

these few days. bad weather.. many people got sick. i'm also sick. today's very bad. wake up, go to school for sectionals but can't even sing. today's sectional was the crappiest. only dawson and calvin came. eugene sms me whether today have sectionals, i said have, never see him there.

really damn pissed about choir matters. so SYF doesn't matter to you guys? then why bother even coming to choir? of course, i may be contradicting, we need people to sing. if not i'll never want to get unenthusiastic, unreliable, irresponsible people. please. this is the ultimatum, show some work done. we have less than a month, less than 7 practises left. this friday is exchange with zhonghua. you really don't know what's embarrassment until you screw up in front of them right? so be it. i'll just absent myself. i'm sick and unable to sing anyway. #$%^&*~@

hm yeah i guess thats it. cannot post too much, unfair to myself. vivi post so little. thats it.

2009-02-20T22:25:00.003+08:00

Doomsday.

Doomsday indeed. but actually quite a stupid day.

FIrst- recess. adora STILL wants our class ppl to admit. shout shout shout. wanted to put ear piece, but in the end didn't. its damn retarded.

aishah said to stay back a while. but of course i knew they will use all 35minutes, so i just did my own stuff- copy ss homework. lol

then ching leong went out of class. adora shout at him. ask him go back. then he no like emotion.

all the crap~~~ then recess over. history/geog lesson. i went toilet. bad mood. then went back class take my hist stuffs went to 4D.

after social studies, went for chinese. the few ppl talked to zhean again, during chinese. i was really DAMN F*ed up. but i couldn't do anything. i just hoped zhean didn't admit he did it.

then after that adora came to 4E say sorry to ching leong. means its over le.

after that mep students went to hall practise, except nicolette who went to dance studio.

then we walked fast to amkss for the recital. i had to perform first, my dumb song which only is 1minute plus. and i made so many mistake. their B flat note can't be played. =\ screwed up at the ending. alright.

then wenyi sms me about leaving for yck. it was 3+ then. heard it was vivian and i shan who wanted to leave early-.- so early. but i had to follow. so awkward if i go alone. but i never said it wasn't awkward going with 4 girls though. =\ they were cynthia, i shan, wenyi and my son.(vivi)

went to hub first. i shan and vivi went to 3rd floor deposit money. cynthia and wenyi went first floor buy sweet talk. me? went toilet to change. d=

yeah. then. went to hub le lor. vivi scold me say might be too late for her registration for her 4x100m B girls. but in the end she was early lah obviously. funny thing is that. she trying to find entrance to the stadium. go pulll every metal gate. lol. damn cute.

i was there about 4. saw cheng chuan then put bags with him. then i stoned at the seat. the 3 girls went to toilet change soooooo bloody long. i still stoning at the seat after 10+ minutes. then i took out psp. play a bit. less than 10 minutes i sian le. =x then they came in. sat near me. then i dunno what happen. just STONED, and watch some races.

hmmm... then saw some of cc's and likiong's races. quite good. cc most of the time last runner. never notice li kiong.

i skip ba.

cca relay.

my group first- wenyi cynthia likiong and me. order- wenyi, cynthia, me, likiong.

i never see start off. too far, and i'm partially blind. only saw cynthia take the baton that time she was the last, but catching up. i was last to run with baton(3rd person). but overtook 2 groups , i heard. cio which is weiting. i ran like mad lah. totally never run so fast before =\ hahahaah. li li ran for his life. we came in 4. dunno how many groups are there but i think its 6. lol.

cc's group- vivi, i shan, eugene, cc.

i heard vivi started out badly(says him)[i think she's just feeling inferior], i shan was not very fast. pass to eugene, already slow down a lot. all the fourth runner ran except for cheng chuan. what do you expect the end to be? our group came in last. lol

yeah after that. everyone left.

vivi first to leave. rude son. ''never say bye to mummy.'' i said that to her. then she waved and left.

eugene ran few rounds. cheng chuan stopped after 2 i think.

the girls went to change. we 3 went badminton court to drink water and change. then walked to mrt station. eugene left at cheers. he took direct bus home. we all took mrt back to hub. i went to ntuc buy sushi and took 169 home. my sushi was eaten only at... 9.20+pm. lol i was damn hungry when i was at hub. but i see the sushi, i felt like i was eating it. lol.

yeah. thats it for today. vivi pestering me for this loooong post. lol.

2009-02-07T23:20:00.003+08:00

wow. i found out i haven't posted in a month. =x

lazy lah. =\ i'm actually not supposed to post until vivian does. hais. nvm. she'll follow suit.

alright. today is a.. tiring day. i played as much as i did homework. thats a lie.

i play more than homework, duh, but a math seemed like an eternity. all the differentiation caused my head to have gone bonkers. even when i'm playing, suddenly i think of--> y= x2 - x.

dy/dx = 2x - 1. -.-''

rawr.

alright. study-wise. a month has passed. meaning.. how many months left? 7 or 8? dunno. never bothered counting. everyone's studying like hell now. i'm still playing and fooling around. -_-''

bleah. i got nothing to say. oh wait, i do.

Music lunch time recital- 20feb, my 8'09 pathetique to be learnt and performance standard. how leh? sure impossible to learn finish 1. i'm screwed. so badly. i wish i could just randomly get a bach's two part invention to get over with it. =\ gogo zack! you'll get screwed. :( jy hidir, nic and zhean. lets see who dies more horribly. :P

i'm probably skipping the completed events due to this. haiz. i wanted to participate in cca relay. shrugs big time.

2009-01-11T22:43:00.002+08:00

haishshh.. today's sunday is tiring. or maybe i just didn't sleep well. reached home about 11.30. rest throughout till 2. was having running nose and sniffing like a dog. ate medicine and drank lots of water. was at the verge of sleeping. and slept at 1 plus until 2.10+ then bathe until 2.40+. got scolded by mom for bathing too long until i'm late for tuition. haha. then in the car ride, i was daydreaming... never sleep. so i was yawning and very tired during both classes. almost slept during chem, the 5-7pm 1. after that my mom smsed me to go to plaza sing. they all shopping there so happily- once i reached there immediately ask me to carry for them-.- brother told me he saw a nice shoes for me. at samuel and calvin or smth. its ip zone's shoe. the black 1, entirely black. quite comfortable. bought it at $29+ only. rather cheap. yeah then we rushed home. cause bro had to book in. reach home about 8.50pm. eat dinner.. then dunno do some random stuffs then yeah. today's over.

tree of wisdom- guide me, my way-

2009-01-05T22:35:00.003+08:00

blah blah blah.

rather lucky in the first part of the day- didn't bring physics book. just nice, assembly overshot 1 period. by 35minutes. lol then chemistry. book in classroom. parimala didn't allow me to go up. so, lesson without book :(

E math- new topic: standard deviation. rather chim. takes time to process.

Hist- War in Europe. talk about hitler again, and all the other losers who gave in to him. (noobs)

Chinese- i never do hw =x i need to do tmr. hahaha

CME- i practically stoned. alright. maybe chat a lot. and then did the 50 question survey in 5 minutes. then remaining 10 minutes did 1 e math homework question.

after school. go home and play computer. nah i was kidding.

went to hub. coincidentally saw wenyi and yinghan. nah i was kidding.

went to ''lunch'' with them. which was drinking water at mos. yes i'm kidding.

then walked second floor. yes i'm kidding.

then decided to go to the eighth junction. yes i'm kidding.

we took wrong side, so ended up at yio chu kang instead. nah i was kidding.

reached that particular junction. first thing is find cd shop. yes i'm kidding.

found My Short Stories. $20. wanted to buy. but no money. yes i'm kidding.

went around to toy shop look here look there. yes i'm kidding.

then after that yinghan want to buy bag? we went around looking. yes i'm kidding.

she bought a black pencil box at 76th street. nah i was kidding.

we were looking for bags that has purple inside. yes i'm kidding.

while we were looking, we saw many shops selling the bag i'm gonna use. yes i'm kidding.

but she didn't want any. so we walked around again. yes i'm kidding.

suddenly yating called wenyi. say her parents gonna kill her. nah i'm kidding.

perhaps this part, i shouldn't type it out. no kids here.

we ended up at coffee bean near to the mrt. yes i'm kidding.

wenyi was going crazy. so she had to eat chocolate cake. nah i was kidding.

she found out chocolate cake was too brown-y, so she decided to buy carrot cake instead. nah i was kidding.

she bought carrot cake and started eating with yinghan. yes i'm kidding.

yinghan was eating very very little. wenyi was still crazy. but slowly calmed down after devouring carrot cake. yes i'm kidding.

suddenly yinghan said she gtg and zao-ed. yes i'm kidding.

then wenyi couldn't eat finish her cake, so i finished it. yes i'm kidding.

it tastes SO MUCH NICER THAN MY MOM'S. this kid's dead serious.

then wenyi decided to walk home. which was only 5minutes. yes i'm kidding.

i followed her and almost banged into a pole. nah i was kidding.

i followed her to her house. i was curious to find out how she could have 3 pianos in her house. yes i'm kidding.

she opened the door to show me. i only saw 2 though. yes i'm kidding.

then it was about. 5pm.

said my goodbyes and left.

took 410 to thomson plaza. almost fell asleep in the bus. but thanks to wenyi she smsed me. the vibration woke me. yes i'm kidding.

missed a 980. it was in front of me, but i was busy making my earpiece. so i ignored it. yes i'm kidding.

167 came in less than 3 minutes time. i was still fiddling with my ear piece. but if i were to ignore this bus, i'd be an idiot. yes i'm kidding.

i made sure i was standing. if not i'll fall asleep again. yes i'm kidding.

yeah reached home's bus stop. went to he ji to buy LUNCH. yes i'm kidding.

it was 6 by the time i reached home, and bathed. yes i'm kidding.

yeah i guess thats today. no more kids. they probably couldn't stand my coldness in writing this post.

2009-01-02T19:02:00.002+08:00

i couldn't do it. perhaps i'm not fit to do it. i'm just too.. weak.

i don't like school, though i'm slightly motivated by scoldings. i don't wanna be the failure who failed o levels. i don't want my life to slow down at this level. but i can't do anything.

tired. good night in the evening.

2008-12-25T22:30:00.002+08:00

Merry Christmas to You You! (adapted from YUI's happy birthday to you you)

shrugs. christmas also need to post. ok my day is simple.

here goes. i wake up in the morning at 7.40am to charge my phone. i slept.

i woke up again at 9.30am to go for breakfast. thomson plaza ya kun.

then went NTUC.

then went home. dota a few rounds. like.. 3-4. then reinstalled gta sa. my mods can't work! means i'll need to play harder. lol.

yeah and then play till 7 o clock. went out to my dad's friend house for dinner. was super sian. i was playing super puzzle fighter on my psp. :) i can't think of any way to clear the enemy with the hardest difficulty, my gems helping them. ahh then i come back lor. al;most slept on the car with YUI's song. too nice le. i want a girlfriend that's like her. =( lol my wishful thinking.

alrighty. sleep. i mean. i'm going to my neighbour's house now to do some stuffs. guitar ftw~ ciao. and merry christmas to all.

I just wanna say..

Merry Christmas.

Hope you enjoyed this year.

Cause i didn't. =(

My life has gone 1 step further down.

Time to make some moves.

Its not like me to be useless all the time.

2008-12-01T00:03:00.002+08:00

hmm. my life at home isn't very interesting. i found that dota-ing is actually stressful. when you meet people better than you, you really can't make mistakes. if not you'll just do stupid things and lag behind, losing the game with people blaming you.

started a new psp game yesterday: jeanne d'arc. the storyline's pretty interesting. and the gameplay is such that of final fantasy tactics: the war of the lions. squares and you control people around. ah shrugs. i'm bored. oh! its already 12!? i thought it was still 11. shits. ahh i'm going to sleep i guess.

if i had a chance...

2008-11-27T22:20:00.002+08:00

came back from 1) joshua's house, and 2) school.

stayed over at joshua's house, if some didn't notice my hair wasn't in good shape lol. i always bathe before going out :( but no matter. i like joshua's house piano! it ROCKS! about 10000000x better.

i noticed. i CAN survive without computer! but not without psp. lol at least we spent more time on the piano than on games. i think. i chionged joshua on May Be. he wanted to perform, so i gave him a song i know, so i can teach him faster. i practised a new score i found. (dammit man. i'm going to miss my pathetique song..)

haiz. tmr need to perform. i wonder if i can still can make it.. only played for like.. 10+ times. and the last part i anyhow play.. crap it. its too late to play now. zz noooooooooooooo~ god bless me? please do~ i need the blessed hands and minds to think well and play well. amen!

2008-11-24T23:59:00.002+08:00

life is so... predictable.

:X shrugs. my theory. :)

well i wonder when i'm going to satisfy myself.

was introduced to YUI. i felt her emotions in her older songs, when she was still considered a "teen". people.. do change. stepping out to the adult world, people will do whatever it takes to live on.. adapt.

feeling down, i'd admit, speaking frankly, i won't give in, what's mine's mine. i'll be the winner in the end. i'll pull myself back. its a promise to you.

Remember the time you said i was small,

passing by, time flies, i've learnt through all.

give me the strength to fight it back,

because i loathe being the old zack.

i hide myself in my room,

watching countless planes zoom,

makes me feel so useless,

oh this is so ridiculous.

perhaps.

perhaps indeed.

time will come for people to do what they hate,

now, what would you call this.. fate?

or is it merely a councidence,

the word people use for excuses?

i believe..

oh yes i do..

my time starts now.

so tired.. but for how long...

2008-11-22T23:37:00.002+08:00

choir camp over. (lagged for a day)

i was tired. but i somehow used back-up energy to pull myself. only on the third day, i was half asleep during our meeting, during the activity slot. and then prize giving also. a bit. if anyone noticed, i was sneaking some sleep.

yeah. i swear i don't write more than vivian. so i should end now. camp was fun. yet a bit disastrous. k i think i'm really writing too much. errr.. ah yes. i got shocked when i was given a tuning fork. yeah really. huh? i got something better lol. my phone can play perfect pitches for me! over-reliance to it will kill me later on in life. so i better not use it xD

ok i over-wrote liao. tmdz. i'll post again another day. maybe wednesday. this is just to shut weiling's alarm.

2008-11-14T12:32:00.014+08:00

Classical Idol

Ludwig van Beethoven (1770-1827)

Ludwig van Beethoven was a German composer and pianist. He was a important figure in the transitional period between the Classical and Romantic eras in Western classical music. He remains as one of the most respected and influential composers of all time.

Born in Bonn, then in the Electorate of Cologne, he moved to Vienna in his early twenties and settled there, studying with Joseph Haydn and quickly gaining a reputation as a virtuoso pianist. Beginning his twenties, Beethoven’s hearing gradually deteriorated, yet he continued to compose, and to conduct and perform, even after he was deaf.

Beethoven had 3 siblings who survived infancy. Beethoven was baptized on 17 December 1770, the day after his birth.

His first music teacher was his father, a reportedly harsh teacher. Johann, Beethoven’s father, soon engaged a friend, Tobias Pfeiffer, to preside over his son’s music training, and is rumoured that Johann and Tobias would come home late from a night of drinking to pull Ludwig out of bed to practice till morning.

(Picture of Beethoven when he was 13 years old)

Beethoven’s talent was recognized at an early age. By 1778, he was studying the organ and viola in addition to the piano. His most important teacher was Christian Gottlob Neefe, who was the Court’s Organist. He also helped Beethoven publish his first composition: a set of keyboard variations.

In 1792, Beethoven moved to Vienna, where he studied with Joseph Haydn for a time. His hopes for studying with Mozart had been dashed by Mozart’s death the previous year. Beethoven received additional instruction from Johann Georg Albrechtsberger (Vienna’s pre-eminent counterpoint instructor) and Antonio Salieri.

By 1793, Beethoven established a reputation in Vienna as a piano virtuoso. His first works with opus numbers, a set of piano trios, appeared in 1795. He settled into the career pattern he would follow for the rest of his life, rather than working for the church or a noble court, he supported himself through a combination of annual stipends or single gifts from members of the aristocracy; income from concerts, lessons, and the sale of his works.

(Picture of Beethoven at the age of 33)

Beethoven’s patron loved his music but were not quick to support him. Beethoven eventually relied more on patrons like Count Franz Joseph Kinsky, Prince Joseph Franz Maximilian Lobkowitz and Karl Alois Johann-Nepomuk Vinzenz, Fűrst Lichnowsky. Once these patrons passed away, Beethoven fell into debt.

In 1807, Prince Lobkowitz advised Beethoven to apply for the position of composer of Imperial Theatres, but the nobility did not respond. Beethoven considered leaving Vienna.

In the fall of 1808, Beethoven was offered a position as chapel maestro at the court of Jerome Bonaparte, the king of Westphalia, which he accepted. The Archduke Rudolf, Count Kinsky and Prince Lobkowitz pledged to pay Beethoven a pension of 4000 florins a year to persuade him to stay in Vienna. Only Archduke Rudolf paid his share on the agreed date. Kinsky did not contribute and soon died after falling from his horse. Obkowitz stopped paying in September 1811, No successors came forward to continue the patronage, and hence Beethoven had to rely mostly on selling composition rights and a smaller pension after 1815.

(Picture of Beethoven at 1815)

At around 1796, Beethoven began to lose his hearing. He suffered a severe form of tinnitus. His hearing loss did not prevent his composition of music, but it made concerts, which holds a significant amount of his income, increasingly hard.

Beethoven’s personal life was troubled due to hearing loss. He was led to contemplate suicide as documented in his Heiligenstadt Testament. Beethoven has a close circle of friends all his life, thought to have been attracted by his reputed strength of personality. Towards the end of his life, Beethoven’s friends competed in their efforts to help him cope with his inabilities.

The women who attracted Beethoven were unattainable because they were either married or aristocratic. Hence, Beethoven never married, despite being engaged to Giulietta Guiccardi. Her father was the obstacle to their marriage. There was another documented love affair that began in 1805 with Josephine von Brunswick, young widow of the Graf von Deym. The relationship ended by 1807 because of Beethoven’s indecisiveness and the disapproval of Josephine’s aristocratic family.

There was a case where Beethoven was involved in a custody struggle for his nephew. Beethoven lost the custody when he inadvertently admitted that he was not nobly born, thus he lost sole guardianship on 18 December 1818.

After Beethoven lost custody of his nephew, he went into a decline that led to his death on Monday 26 March 1827, during a thunderstorm.

(Portrait of Beethoven at 1818)

Overall, he has made 9 Symphonies, 9 Concertos, 13 Overtures and occasional music, 16 String Quartets, 4 String Quintets, 4 Piano Trios, 3 String Trios, 7 Chamber music with winds, 6 Violin Sonatas, 3 Cello Sonatas, 1 Horn Sonata, 23 Piano Sonatas, 5 Variations, 9 Bagatelles, 3 Operas, 5 Choral, 4 Vocal Songs.

(Portrait of Beethoven drawn in 1820)

Klaviersonate Nr.8 c-moll op.13 “Pathetique” I Grave – Allegro di molto e con brio

The song begins with as slow introductory theme, marked Grave. I like the song’s modulation to Allegro di con molto e con brio. The chromatic scale brings the music to a pause, before it becomes fast in the second section. The disjunct melody stays as it plays on. In the earlier section of the Allegro section, there is a wave of notes moving upwards in a pattern, and then coming down again. It is a scale like form, as it goes up by a semi tone. the song is main conjunct at this point, where the left hand crosses the right in playing notes on the bass clef, and the crossing to play high notes on the treble clef. Upper mordent is used. It brings out the liveliness of the piece. I like this section because it has a very smooth texture. It gives a calming effect on the one hearing the song. Soon after the section using upper mordents, the melody and accompaniment plays alberti bass, with sufficient emphasis on the higher Eb note. This section is my favourite, as it has a lyrical and free flowing melody. It gently flows in legato. It is very calming and peaceful, although the section is short. The exposition, which is also the Allegro section, repeats itself. the four bars of slow introduction is again played. It is very dissonant and feels uneasy when heard. The development is played, modulating to a foreign key. Its tempo is Allegro. After the development, the recapitulation is played, repeating most of what the exposition was played. I like this song mainly because it has many different moods to it. Some may seem disturbing, yet some may sound extremely soothing.

I think everyone should at least hear this song once. The song may or may not sound nice to some. Like i said before, this song has many moods in it. There is bound to be a section, even if its short, that is liked by others. There is no such thing as horrible-sounding song. It is just how one enjoys it. I hope people will change their views on music after hearing this song.

2008-10-31T16:40:00.003+08:00

oh man. so tired today. probably because of lack of sleep. was thinking of too many things that i couldn't sleep well. haiz~ i'm going to play piano now..

2008-10-30T22:33:00.002+08:00

hmm. i proved myself incredibly useless, and of course extra. i shouldn't rant here. that's a mini update. i don't really know what's going to happen during the panel. it's bugging me..
...

2008-10-28T19:44:00.003+08:00

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh~~~~~~~~

today's 28 october. doomsday coming...

and today's chengcheng's birthday. happy birthday.

today's chinese lesson was boring. yawned about 10 times in 1.5 hours. then ching leong's chinese name so funny lol. 青龙. of course its not lah, but i made fun of him.

boring. then today got.. music lesson.. felt much better than chinese or math. ms chen (teacher) was teaching us how to identify whether its a major third or minor third, major sixth or minor sixth, major 7th or minor 7th. you guys probably won't understand. she thought us many tricks to remember. then the major 6th sounds like my bonnie lies over the ocean. then 1 person was asked to identify notes which was minor 6th. then when ms chen asked why, he said. cause it doesn't sound like my bonnie. LOL damn retarded answer, but she accepted it. lol.

yeah i guess thats it. upcoming panel 31st~

2008-10-25T13:53:00.002+08:00

lol. okay finally, an update.

k yesterday!

woke up about 10am. played computer and psp till 3pm i think. then i suddenly got headache. i know the reason. i got it more than 10 times before. i played too much computer games. so i decided to rest. first i went to backup my psp games i took from my neighbour a day ago. took me 12 minutes. i rested on my sofa for about 20 minutes. automatically woke up, removed the usb, off my computer. went to sleep, on the sofa. time flies~ i slept till 7pm. around 3 hours, cause i think i slept at 4. yeah then i asked my maid what time my brother's friends are coming for bbq, then she said about 8. i was. oh.. k go bathe. come down, play 1 match of dota, total ownage. second game, lost. then most people came already. about 4. one came late cause he went to watch a concert. he came about 10pm i think. time really flies lol. bbq while talking crap. then my father talk to my bro's friend about army stuffs. then my brother didn't even know lol. yeah then crap until 12 plus.

parents went to sleep. my brother turned on air-con in the room in the first floor, the ''guest room''. yeah everyone went in. including me. went in do what? play board games. yeah sound quite dumb. but its a super fun board game. really. i played 1, while 2 of bro's friend played 3. i slept after that. first game of board game. forgot what game its called la. but each player plays as a knight. then each player chooses a ''loyal or traitor'' card. there's 8 cards, 7 loyals and 1 trator, only up to 7 ppl can play, and 2 loyal card is to be taken out so there must be a traitor. the guy sitting next to me was the traitor. how i know? i accidentally saw his ''loyal/traitor'' card. it was red and dark, traitor's card. loyal card was blue and white. :D don't say i cheat lar. i didn't say anything to reveal he was the traitor or anything.. just enjoyed the game. first time playing. super fun lol. got quests to do, to gain white swords that is to be put in a ''round table'' in the game. needs at least 12 to win. well. we won the traitor. he claims to miscalculate. shrugs. lol. he helped us a lot actually. to win as a traitor with style, must really... backstab people when you're in dire straits. :X we were almost dying at a point. there's this thing called siege engines. only 12 can be put in. once 12 are in, we lose. there was 10 in the game that time. i was killing them off, but got bad things that happen that puts a siege engine back there-.- so quite hard la. he chose to help us to clear it. so in the end he lost.

k second game- i didnt really play, cause only 5 people can play. so i just watched. btw the time then, was 3am. the first game took us really really long. estimated time was 60- 90 minutes. we played a non-traitor game at the start, using around 45 minutes for that.

back to second game. dunno what's its name also. there are a lot of tiles, squarish ones. you're supposed to take one every turn, and then link the starting block into a.. lets say huge ''county''. then you place your ''followers'', as a thief on the road to gain points once the road is completed, or farmers to gain more points per entire city he provide food for, a monk in a city that gains points when a town is entirely surrounded, or a knight in a palace to gain points equals to how big the palace is. yeah it was quite fun. took up about 30 minutes. the winner was 2 guys, a tie. my bro's friends. the third place was the guy who brought this game. the fourth and fifth was a tie. my brother and his last friend. lol. 2 ties.

k third game. i think quite fun also, but never saw how they played. lol. it was about 4am when they were going to start. if i looked on, i dont need to sleep liao. =x yeah. so i went to sleep. woke up at 11.15am i think. then tuition at 11.30am. just ended, which explains why i'm updating.

ok happy? -.-

2008-10-13T19:44:00.004+08:00

i am so...

i've never cried for a test since primary school till now. ok not really cry to that extent. but just minor tear that no one can notice. i did my best. that's to say for sure. i know i did, but whether my parents will think that way, i'm sure no. i'd prefer to just get scolded, punished and done with. no computer, no psp, no going out, whatever. i know they're really good to me, even though my results suck like shit. its just me, i guess. i have no interests in studying. i only want to do what i like to do, no matter what it takes. i'm losing confidence of studies, because i'm with smart people. thats an excuse. my mindset tells me that i don't want to lose, yet i don't want to work extra hard for the triumph as well.

2008-10-12T21:46:00.003+08:00

great. i think i can see myself in the future.. loner. 10 oct and 11 oct made me know that i'm so lonely after all.

i'm going to be alone in time to come. i do envy those who make friends so easily.. as i look at my pathetic phone contact, and my pathetic msn contacts, i feel dejected. in fact, there's only 3 people whom i talk to. 1 would be zhe an. 1 would be cheng chuan. 1 would be another person whom i will not say.

both have grown, a lot. but i, chose to face this wall until something bad really happens.

there's one thing i feel dejected about. my arcade life. if i don't remember wrongly, i talked about a girl in my previous post. yes. its only then, i found out, its not about how naturally talented you are, its how rich you are. of course, it links to reality. like initial d episode 5, quoted: it made me realize that racing is all about funding.

indeed. that is a fact. as a schooling boy, i have no complaints. i just have to work everything out myself as fast as possible before i waste too much money.

i won't really say what's going to happen. but i'm going to be all alone.. just like the old days..

now, i only want to learn to drive asap. then i'll get my own car, cheap, easy and practical to drive.

maybe i should sneak out during the holidays to drive around springleaf..

2008-10-11T19:07:00.002+08:00

alright. i guess i should update even though the place's empty.

yesterday, is it 10 oct? should be. went out at 10.40a.m, supposed to meet zhe an, cheng cheng and bobby at hub. but i decided not to, cause i can just head to yishun straight. so i reached yishun at 11. they reached about 11.35am+ then i was already playing. just won someone and just played on. then didn't want to continue for the time being.

everyone seem to hate initial d and arcade now... is it time to move on already? its a year, and i haven't reached the top. i tried to get everything back on track for my timing. i won't really say i improved, but i will just say i found a faster line to get better timing. alright. then a girl played initial d. from the looks, she seem very... ignorant, quite. but when she start playing, ok, please slap me... she owned the records there-.- bloody over-practised woman. she definitely got a sponsor, there's a guy in a long sleeve with black pants guy there who's a friend of her. definitely rich and sponsoring her gaming. skip ba. since i played less than 9 rounds in the arcade-.-

9 rounds = ~27 minutes. i ended about... 12.30. quite long right? i arcade always like that. can't bear to spend my money. >.<

then 12.30pm bobby and cheng cheng tell me stay there or something, they go play basketball. i was like super blur. then i called zhean for my rx-8. then after that cheng cheng came back, and bobby call me stop playing. go walk around until 1pm, eat lunch tgt. then i was damn sian diao. i walked out of the machine, legs like jelly. LOL really. then hand aching so badly. cheng cheng said he had to go up find smth, we followed him up, (we as in me + bobby) then he walk to the top most floor of north point, walked through popular then come out the other exit go downstairs. i whacked his head. yeah then we went to the food court downstairs. found a table and stoned. bobby called zhe an and zhe an said they got seats i think. then found them somewhere... 8 seats. 4 girls 4 guys, where the 4 girls are: stranger 1, stranger 2, stranger 3, zhe an's girl. (nice way of naming right-_-'') i think their names were... valerie? jin feng? wan xin? joey? i saw these only at the safra. ok then eat lor. we 4 guys ate jap food. i actually wanted to eat porridge la! but porridge doesn't really fill my stomach. zhe an and valerie took so long to buy food. come back, zhe an carried his food, and valerie bought drinks. -_-''

while eating, cheng cheng kept smsing a person. actually i thought was someone close to him, a friend. then he started to smile. ok. that's no guy. its a girl. he didn't tell me who it was until yesterday night. vivian. ok after that. walked to safra, not really walk. we walk few bust stops, then take ONE bus stop, and then had to walk back. what would you do if it happened to you? the time then, was 1.45pm. taking note that the sun was the hottest then. walk there le.. so many people-.- playing pool. so i dun want play le. lol.

ok, bowling! first round was crap. lol anyhow play. then second round was much better. i won't really say the scores la. i don't have a photographic memory, and i didn't take it all down. there's this girl wan xin, bowler, owned us all. she drew the line between amateur bowlers and trained bowlers. her score easily hits 100. and then i can tell that zhe an was feeling inferior for a time being when he say valerie own in bowling. zhe an, its normal. i've been there. lol. yeah then.. he was having some crash course on bowling by that bowler. use the arrows, i think.

lets skip these... my hands tired, brain tired too.

went back to GV that area, went opposite to find basketball court. it was 5.30+pm, zhe an had to go. so we ran to the cc for the court, leaving the girls behind dunno doing what, taking photos? shrugs la. then no court lor. just play around. then many things happened... bobby angry with cheng cheng for throwing the ball to sharp edges. and he threw at me! -_-'' yeah after that went to comic connection outside buy drinks. if i wasn't wrong, someone bought a mango ince blended.. it reminded me of swimming. last time i always buy that after swimming. now, not only did i stop learning swimming, i'm scared of water. LOL yeah i got my oreo, chengcheng bogught his ice lemon tea and we went inside fun land, bobby + zhe an + 4 girls went to time zone in north point. i shoulda went -_-'' i was itching for battle gear, wanted to see if there was anot. shrugs again lor. then they went on mrt. heard that something happened. i know what happened. maybe i shouldn't say. i respect them. yeah while me and chengcheng played initial d until super sian, went home.

TODAY.

boring day. slept last night at 2, woke up at about 9.30a.m, seems like i didn't sleep well. played a round of dota and almost lost, thanks to bloody feeders. ok skip~

chinese tuition at 1.30pm. tuition teacher was chatting with my mom while i was doing her work on the spot. she commented on primary school's education, and singapore school education. sucks. something to do with chinese.. and also about lee hsien long's child's education. they changed something for his son, and once its over, they change it back. i dunno what la, just overheard a bit. then she commented on my attitude. -_-'' say what my attitude affects how much i learn greatly. you can say 我很"感情用事" if that's correctly written. i only know how to say, not write.

whatever. tuition ended at 3.15pm. i went for a shower and then went to j8 for arcade with my mom. don't misunderstand. she brings me there for 30+minutes arcade, then go for a 1 hour NTUC. arcade was extremely boring today. don't have battle gear anymore. they don't work. i give up on junction 8. horrible place to begin with. i'm going to change locations.

just came back, like 45 minutes ago. and this took me about 45 minutes. damn i type too slow, or perhaps, i think really slow.

thats enough update for now. hope my results don't disappoint my parents.

2008-09-26T15:07:00.002+08:00

friday's a boring day. reading period, i wasn't really into my book. i was just daydreaming... thinking of a melody. but now, its gone. looks like the entire school is into yiruma.

i'll try to go round it, chronologically. first period, ss. mrs nathan brought us to the small room with the computers and finished the show on bombing of hiroshima. that's the first history-related movie i didn't fall asleep. or maybe second. Hitler was first. we watched overtime, ss ate into thinking skills lesson for 10 minutes. we reached class at 8.55am. then class made a lot of noise while i was busy trying to sleep. then 9.15am, mdm suhailah came in and thought we were missing. she went down to find us, then waited at some place for us but didn't really see us. so in the end she couldn't teach, or she didn't really intend to teach us, she didn't bring in her laptop, and she brought in a stack of papers to mark.

next period was pe. mr hakeem was nowhere to be found. so we stayed in class, class made loads of noise while i was sleeping again. until around 9.50am. aishah told us to go down. class eventually went down. reach canteen already... om ng come scream us. (expected). shouted no matter what lessons we have, bring a book or your notes to read. clarence zhe an welly and me went to the class grab newspapers down. finish reading, throw in the dustbin. (rhymes.) erm. yeah before their recess was ending.. my class heard a person playing river. then all turn to clarence ask him what score. after that, zhe an and me went to the hall after eating, he tried to get nice melodies, while i was practising. then a girl came in, she took the upright piano and started playing kiss the rain. i heard her play till the end of the first section, i play with her. then she suddenly changed to river. i told zhe an to see her fingerings, and she uses the middle finger to play more notes. her touch was good. that was when zhe an said: this school is crazy. everyone is crazy about yiruma's songs.

then was english. english watched a show called august rush. about this boy who was bornt by a couple who had one night stand the first night they met. incredible. i said so fast too loudly that my class girls turned back. ps. the boy was a genius. he first time play the guitar, already made the people (in the show) drop jaws. yeah and me too. but of course, its a show. yeah then... don't wanna talk more about it. i'm getting tired.

gonna sleep. so longz.

2008-09-14T22:21:00.003+08:00

i gotta get the stupid post out of my sight. it boils my anger.

roar!

rawr~

woof!

meow~

(what other animal sounds-_-'')

ok thats enough.

the post starts here-

ok yesterday went to sara's birthday party. was super late cause of that idiotic tuition teacher. i told her i have party at 1. being a responsible boy(like real) i didn't wanna push it. so 11.30 to 1pm tuition lor. but she HAD to come late. 11.55+ then come. thanks lor? end at 1.30pm. then brother was out with my returning books to my aunty. then... ya. they came back at about... 2pm. then took present and left. reach there about 2.30pm due to distance-.- yeah then stay til 5pm. first thing i went there: eat-.- i was starving. then after that we(me + brother) played cards. first round: double-decked bluff. my brother play, i never. i see him play. yeah. it was pretty time consuming. then almost towards the end. there was this girl, who was sitting next to riana and cheated! :O the game was left with 2 person. yeah. and other girl who i think was claire put in a stack of cards. she said 4. then the other girl i dunno the name she end the game( too excited ) said 6! and then laughed. me and my brother were saying... ehh! she put 4 u say 6. the stack of cards on the table was damn thick. and she didn't wanna play anymore. lol.

yeah then after that was cake eating. chocolate cake. quite nice. anything that's soft is nice, for the convenience of my braces. yeahh.. then.. we continued playing cards. play big 2. 4 ppl. 2 girls 2 guys. then played 3 ppl big 2. i lost. :X then was nearing the end, i saw sara solving an incredibly small 3x3 size rubik's cube. bro said: see, she can solve leh. you leh? i actually forgot how i replied. skip~ then we played silent heart attack. i made a fool of myself on the first round. i got 4 8s. then i said. what do i do when i have all 4? then they all were.. diao. brother whack me say i idiot or smth. forgot. then i dunno la. i dunno how to play silent heart attack 1. lol

then party ended. we had nowhere to go. eventually made a unanimous decision to... follow 3 girls to tempines mall. 2 girls - sara and riana. the other girl i dunno who. but she's like living in some ultra speed world. she talk fast do work fast and... blah blah. that day my ear's weren't working well too. couldn't hear well. yeah. then at tempines mall they walk their way we went arcade. yeah. expected of me right? it was timezone. everything was priced so high. and there was no initial d ver. 3! -.- retarded arcade. then they called me, i didn't notice i had my vibration offed until i was at home. then call my brother cause he listened. then after a while they stopped calling. we were still at the arcade looking at other games. then i was looking down. then i forgot who noticed the 3 girls standing in front of me, about 5-7 steps away from us. i was shocked. lol. then walk down to money changer, that girl wanted to change money. then dunno what happen she say bitch? ... couldn't catch her, she talked too fast. yeah. then she say what thing got to find her parents? then go century square alr don't stick to our own group, as in. me and my brother, sara and riana. yeah. but we still did. lol. then walk there already, we were like saying. eh, why we going to arcade ar? lol i for a second brain dead. then they say they going to walk around. then we were going to walk around, [(in my mind), in the arcade]. then i spend about 5+ there. oops. i tried to resist temptations already okay!

yeah then we got home. mom fetch us home. reach home about 7.30? forgot. then the day ended like that.

oh yes. i installed Ragnarok Battle OFFline! a game that's quite cute. anyone interested find me. i can give you. xD kkz. thats it for the update.

wow.. i shouldn't have left such a big gap at the start. LOL. its... pretty long. haha. hope u had fun reading.

oh yes.

i should say it again.

Happy Belated Birthday to you, sara.

i don't like the word belated><

Thats It.

2008-09-09T16:05:00.002+08:00

okay. i'm going to go fucked up. this post is unnecessary for you all to read. i just need to vent my anger.

fucking hell. thats enough man. you force me to the corner. faggot. only know how to take things from people, and not knowing how to give. fucking asshole. you better watch out. so fucked up that nothing can describe me now.

but wait. i already expected him to do this.

why am i feeling so angry?

i can't stop it.

its too late now.

all i can do now..

is to find another way.

composing starts now then.

2008-09-08T16:09:00.002+08:00

right. finally got my san andreas. now. arcades are not nice. i'm broke. too broke.

ok first day of school. not a bad day, but not a good one either. mr prem says he's gonna change style again. today he returned us 8 spa papers. O level physics SPA is gonna be 29 sept. thats fast. sigh. i'm sure to fail it. today mr ang caught about 6-7 boys in my class writing stuffs. pervertic stuffs. then he catch all of them. say they inattentive, rude, blah blah. a lot. then he call mr prem deal with them. i dunno what they gonna face or what they faced. shrugs.

i feel so bored. -_-'' i should study.. right?

nah.

2008-09-06T00:33:00.002+08:00

today's er.. 7 hour choir practice? damn it. start at 9am to 4pm. i don't mind actually. worst thing is that i had to wake up 8.20am!? so damn retarded la. reach choir damn paiseh. then my voice was pure drivel.(chim word^^) until about 11 then start working well. today finished downloading psp game- wangan midnight portable. although i dunno how to play that well YET, still quite fun la. i get to drive:D i waiting for san andreas to dl finish. i fucking accidentally deleted the entire downloaded file. FUCK IT?! cheebye took me 1 week sia. now wait for nothing.

damn pissed now. but i cheer up a little by myself cause my 'bro''s getting a new psp. do you believe its for him? guess and ask me.

thats all for today. i feel i'm wasting my life away. ):

Infinite in mystery.. is the Gift of the Goddess

We seek it thus.. and take it to the sky

Water form on the ripple surface

The wandering soul knows no rest.

2008-09-03T15:50:00.003+08:00

i don't like this.. a smiling me has decided to cry instead, after hearing yiruma's songs, again. there's nothing much going on in my brain. but hearing his songs seems to have created a story inside, a sad story.

holidays- 've been thinking about my future. what will i become in the future? what can i be in the future? too many initial d have influenced me greatly into following their story. all car mechanics.. theory proving. well. i know i learnt something from that entire series of anime- to think.

but now.. i'm really in a dilemma. what course would i take? or should i continue to persue music? i really can't think, and can't make a decision.

homework- none started. no mood. home's not a good environment to study. it lacks a essential element- teachers and books-surrounding-wall.

2008-09-02T22:38:00.003+08:00

os deyonna. i esitcarp thgirypoc. nehw enoemos swolla em ot ypoc, i lliw. onnud hcihw hctib dellac assenav deksa mil ney ot ksa em rof yifr serocs. i dias on. won s'ehs tog reh nwo ypoc, dna annog esitcarp. taerg. ym tseb eceip si nekat yawa yb srehto. tahw esle od i evah tfel¿

tsrif ot trats eseht saw il gnoik. i teb s'eh ydaerla tnrael ssik eht niar dna revir swolf.

2008-09-01T12:43:00.002+08:00

i feel busy. but i'm actually free.

got homework to do, but gonna procastinate for the time being. :D maybe will start work on wednesday.

teachers day celebratn. not very good. so short the celebration. then everything was pure drivel.
ahh nvm. no point hogging on the past.

just a random update. my blog looks rather empty these few days.

2008-08-27T22:03:00.003+08:00

today went for teacher's day rehearsal. was a waste of time. cause piano sucked. needs heating, then i couldn't play a shit. from 3 waste time til 5.45pm.

...

but i had fun with jeremiah making out lame stuffs for his emcee script. well. there's gonna be 2 girls singing. don't get high hopes, they suck. one is god damn fat. one is skinny. one is named Lenise, one is Hwee Ping.
lim yen say: ooo, Lenise sounds nice.
jeremiah: eh yaa!
me: nice name so what, later come out the gao sai 1.

and i was right. the fat girl is called lenise. LOL

2008-08-26T19:27:00.002+08:00

today's detention. was fun. lol. stay back 2 hours doing 20-30 physics MCQ. 2 hours leh. its rather tough. shrugs. all on light rays.

right. then li kiong told me got teacher's day rehearsal tmr. am i really involved or not?

...

zz i hate it not knowing anything.

2008-08-26T05:47:00.000+08:00

today is a special day. i found out how outclassed i was in school. well. truthfully, we have to find things out ourselves in order to live on. if not you'll just be stuck there, unmobilized.
i figured out, how much friends mean to you. you wouldn't want to see people eating in a group, and you left alone. when you see people laughing their heads off, you face a wall and talk to it.
well, even my best friend outclassed me. i asked him to have lunch tgt, as expected, he forgot about it. then he walks out the room with 2 girls- his gf and elenore. what could i do? eating with people i have never talked to, thats just impossible.
one thing i didn't understand was, why did God send me a saviour? since i didn't deserve it, why bother? as i talked to him and waited for time to past, i gradually found out another of myself. i can get really demanding at times, in fact, more often than seldom.
sorry
...

2008-08-25T23:32:00.002+08:00

god i'm a lousy song listener>.> i just heard this song be with you by BoA. by rights i think it came out earlier. and i heard my 1 jap guest playing it on his phone. :D rocks. you can hear it thru imeem. auto plays~ oh damned. i forgot to find jacelyn for teacher's day audition. phuck.

...

...

...

thats the end. ^^ nights before it gets too early.

2008-08-19T23:20:00.001+08:00

great. this is the start, of my nightmare. first mr prem wants me go for his detention for like 6 hours? until 8. then this week super busy, cause i have to follow the japanese ppl wherever they go. so this week is booked. i cant watch my favourite hong kong dramas. >< damn. and yeah communication problem. i suppose this is common. but apparently this common problem is still not solved. -.- k i gotta go back to them. now. cya.

2008-08-13T23:56:00.002+08:00

damn. i couldn't find the old post. so, i repost a new one.

here's the picture. i can't really rotate it here now><

question~ they're cute right? :D my favourite is the second from the top. most brown. damn cute! XD

... (supposed to be crying)

2008-08-13T16:55:00.006+08:00

I WANT MY PSP!!

my brother brought back to camp. AGAIN. cause exams nearing.

today's english quite easy. could finish all the questions thanks to katrina that pro. she teach me to do and read the passage at the same time. yeah still got time to refresh my mind with math formulae.

e math on the other hand.. another story. question 1 i mgiht get full 6 marks. question 2 i might get 2-3 working marks, or 0. questions 3.. i HOPE i get full marks. if not fail. :X

tmr chem test. very scared. cause today parimala gave us do mole worksheet. the questions damn hard. got some QA questions, REdOX questions.. bloody shit. i suck at those. ¬_¬ gah. god bless. i wanna pass my chem test and show that parimala i'm not her worst student(she keeps picking on me for first term). bitch hor? yeah. she says the test paper is as hard as the worksheet. i scared she give the question phrased until so gan li kiong, i can't understand and do. -.-

ok thats it. damn.....

*gan li kiong means guai lan (kia) btw.

2008-08-12T14:49:00.003+08:00

i asked. but his attitude tells me that he doesn't wanna give me. then just tell me you don't wanna lend. a 5gb disc you say you want to burn? funny. you ought to think of better excuses.

i guess.. sometimes its better

to depend on yourself

than to depend on others.

it's meaningless waiting on.

2008-08-10T13:29:00.002+08:00

damn. i'm bored. music o'level gonna get us to play at 19th september at amkss. and they also say its time to play the piece that i will be choosing for the end of year. october 8-9. damn. i don't know what to play. i've beeen hearing yiruma's songs very frequently for the past few days. its like they are telling me my story. i can't find the next song to play. i think i should scrap teacher's day celebration. i heard its full? or not enough time already. if thats the case, then don't play lor. sigh. no point ranting any further. thats it for today.

2008-08-09T01:55:00.003+08:00

today... connect singapore was rather a waste of time. so i won't say much further.

after wasting 4 hours in school.. me found bob and waited for zhe an and cc. eat lunch. at macs. cc treat me cause i only left $2 in my wallet. lunch mates: zhe an, his gf, his gf's friend, bob, cc, me.

dun care what they eat, i think i should stop eating fries. its making me sick. i got sore throat(probably excess salt), and cough. and then i told zhe an that he is rude. cause he sit next to his gf in a four person table. no one was sitting with them. usually people is sit opposite one right? (example: candelit. who eats a candelit meal with his/her partner side by side?) zhe an, no manners.

right. then after that bob at first didn't wanna follow us go arcade. but in the end he did. amk hub arcade. played a couple of rounds of three countries, then initial d. i deproved a lot. but i can still beat cc's record. LOL

after tt. bob went home via mrt. me and cc took 138. i reach home about 4.45pm? shrugs. then saw my brother sleeping. i woke him up about san andreas installing thing. (found out now that it has virus. bloody hell). then after that we went out at about 6.30pm. go watch concert. F.I.R's concert. i suscribed M1 for my phone. and they gave me 2 tix to the concert. in Singapore Indoor stadium. the place where i remember i went with the choir for the SYF opening last year 07. then i go watch, even though i don't really like their songs. but they have a very nice voice. i'm envious. (currently suffering from cough and sore throat yeah?) my brother scream until siao. lol. now he no voice. i think. watching a concert live. is really different from watching from the cd itself. its the atmosphere that the cd lacks. i wanna go for a concert again.. best by jay la of course. but if its not free, forget it. the entire thing was 2 hours+ long. about 1/4 of the time i was almost sleeping. those songs bore me.

ok thats it. rough update about yesterday. good night in the morning, zack.

2008-08-07T20:27:00.002+08:00

dammit. today's lunch time concert was horrible. first dance was quite okay. second was piano and violin, tiffany and xing zhi. their song damn nice. then.. malay dance. then zhe an + nicolette's canon in d duet. (zhe an made it) it sucked. totally. then is me and li li. at first was OKAY. then reaching the end. i lost concentration. i forgot what to play. that explains the sudden silence... then i remember. and continued. :( fuck it.

2008-08-05T14:58:00.002+08:00

since all of you don't care, there isn't a reason for me to bother. LTC rehearsal? don't care. no one wants to help me find li kiong anyway. i dont even think they know we're supposed to perform. just nice 3.00pm.

just wondering if i'm right for now..

don't you think its rude to just shoot at me?

you don't know what i'm feeling now,

you have no rights to tell me off

nor tell me what to do.

2008-07-31T20:08:00.002+08:00

well. i performed today.. mr lam's retirement. i suppose no one actually noticed la, but who cares, not for them to hear. right. the performance started with jia qi, seraphina, jian zheng, zhi en performing the ballroom dance. from last year's labryinth of dreams. followed by chloe's song accompanied by donald on the piano. then, the string ensemble. i heard nita play off pitches.. anyway. then mine is ''last''. played Kiss The Rain. made 2 very obvious mistake. and other rhythmic mistakes. but overall okay lor. just that zhe an said i started too early. must wait for a while then play-.- right. skip.

today physics.. did pre-test of SPA. its on refraction. using glass block. clarence commented that i doing work super slow. well, thats true. he finished everything so quickly, and almost finished the graph also. but in the end no. i haven't even draw the best-fit line time's up liao. and it wasn't 1hour. we dragged til 10.40. and our class recess became 10.55 to 11.05. lol. mr prem even say, now is not i delay you all, is you all delay me. quick, i want to go for recess. LOL

hilarious. oh yeah and during lunch.. i saw calvin! but of course its big news, if not i wont even blog about it. i saw him eating with chuan ying. 2 person. woooooooooooo. got sparks liao. and i even msg him, encouraging him about him dating LOL. i'm such a good senior. XD

oh yeah. my music teacher, mr ng, friend of mr chen, resign today. we stayed back until 6.50pm and took class photo. i think i'm gonna miss him. omg am i still zack?

upcoming performance: lunch time concert---> IF we're still performing, li kiong and i gonna play together. To Zanarkand. Me on the piano, Li li on the Cello

right. thats it

2008-07-28T16:42:00.002+08:00

god. i'm freaking bored. there's nothing to do(other than hw). even computer games don't interest me a lot. -.- and there was a cyber wellness thing on CME today. and there was a part, how addicted to computer games are you? im not really, but i stay in front of the computer all day. why? watch shows. do the same old thing again and again. :( i feel so bored again. i go rest a bit. off i go~

2008-07-24T20:11:00.003+08:00

WhAT THE HELL. MR LAM WANTS MEP STUDENTS TO PERFORM FOR LUNCH TIME CONCERT. he told us 2 weeks before lunch time concert. how nice. and we have 1 cellist/violinist, 1 violinist, 1 guitarist, 6 pianists. wtf. 2 weeks can't do crap.

2008-07-23T16:37:00.002+08:00

i found it. i found my answer to everything. it was simple and short. but, why was it so short..

my life has turned rocky cold.

i'm taking full blame of it.

i don't expect much from anyone.

nor from you.

i just wanna thank you.

for letting me learn.

2008-07-21T19:29:00.002+08:00

that idiotic mr lam(just a joke yeah), confuse me say MEP students needa perform for lunch time concert on 7 august. change to a recital. which i don't understand what that means. oh well. i was starting to get nervous. ''hahaha''. glad it changed. btw, what is a recital anyway? tag me the answer thanks. anyway. teacher's day will not change. i wanna play a song for them:D k then. just a random update. and yeah, vivian, i ''hahaha''-ed.

2008-07-19T16:11:00.001+08:00

YES YES YES YES!!!!! i finally found the score! changing song for teacher's day^^ lalala~ so happy today.

2008-07-18T22:42:00.002+08:00

today went to yishun to.. watch movie(its a lie). play arcade. lol. THEN movie. movie name: 赤壁
it rocks. yeah i won't elaborate on the story. its 2.5hours long. and i saved a popcorn combo throughout. cc was feeling uncomfortable after the show. coke, he believes. after tt we went for arcade, then went for dinner near my house. porridge. he ate century egg porridge, i took sliced chicken porridge. mine rocks. =x random. k then tts it.

2008-07-13T13:04:00.003+08:00

hmm. i've heard Yiruma's River Flows in You will be played inside Twilight.

i've seriously got too much to do. and i have only a month. and two for May be to finish. (its too hard). i gotta convince zhe an to stop 斗琴3 for a while..

2008-07-09T20:32:00.000+08:00

braces up. it hurts like hell. i can't even EAT. sian.

for 5 days. my objective is to... 开不了口. yeah!

2008-07-09T00:37:00.002+08:00

hmm.. i think i want to start my own project.. i'm heading towards the south, the place where no one has thought of going. i'm now one year older, one year less to live. i'll just have to live life to the fullest.

Current piano scores to master:
斗琴3- not even halfway done.
May Be- i must finish it before teacher's day arrives. MUST.

2008-07-06T22:26:00.002+08:00

ughh.. 100th post. finally. i wonder why im' so slow.

finished john cage's 0'00. it was a total waste of time. to me. we had to be in amkss by 3, brief for 30 minutes, from 3.30pm to 7.30pm is free time for us. yeah like wtf? i performed on the 3rd july and 4th july. 5th july i couldn't perform. it was just the same day i placed ''rubber'' in between my teeth to expand the spaces. braces coming up in wednesday. til then, torture begins. i couldn't perform why? gastric or sorts. i was excused. then zhean accompanied me out the school. i rest in my mom's car, slept while hugging a pillow that vibrates. :D it was around my stomach. i woke up and i felt way better. but still went to see a doctor. 24hr clinic.

uhh.. i'm supposed to get my new phone.. but everything seems to be against me. today, there was a time limitation. my tuition ends at 7pm. my brother had to be in camp by 9, where? i don't know. near boon lay i think. eat finish dinner already 8.30pm. so i and my mom went to see the phone price while my dad send my brother to the camp. he was late 5minutes i think. yeah then after looking thru singtel's price and student plan things.. we went to see starhub's. but closed already. =( so.. i wonder.. when can i get it.. )=

2008-07-02T20:21:00.003+08:00

i took a look at the evening show's picture and the afternoon show's picture. lol. i like the group photo best. =D

my second post today is not only cause of that. its cause plans have changed.

3rd july- style hair/spray hair with water.
4th july- folding clothes(part of chores)
5th july- not thought out yet. =(

2008-07-02T10:52:00.003+08:00

ahh. musical's over. finally. that day i noticed people cry.. mini me also. as for me... i don't know why. i'm supposed to be the more emotional one. maybe we should repeat this 10 times! lolx then maybe i might start tearing. lolol

simply said, personally, i don't like the musical. but the fact that i'm part of the production makes me rather.. happy. i don't understand it myself too.

after the musical, bus took us back to school. and we had to carry the box of water to the general office. waited outside the schol gate to open before we could do anything. took us about 10+ minutes. after tt 2 short dancers asked us whether we going macs, then asked want to follow them to amk hub 1. i forgot who said yes. then we just followed. reach there in the end, sit differnt table lol. who cares. we ate ours, and then i called my dad to bring joshua, cc home. and then by the time i reached home. 12am le. i bathed. then slept immediately with my hair blown dry. super tired, i couldn't even open my eyes to play psp. can you imagine that..

well thats it. oh yeah i still have 3 more days of performance. 3rd 4th 5th july.
amkss NOMAD-

first day, tear newspaper/paper.
second day, chew gum.
third day, make rose with either tissue, or ferrero rocher paper.
i haven't started eating them yet. =x

2008-06-23T17:05:00.004+08:00

school started. already. i'm not prepared. cause homework not touched.

as usual, grooming check. and i'm not caught, although my fringe is pretty long. nvm that. lucky for the new change in timetable. TODAY NO PHYSICS! i never touch his homework. so heng. i brought zhe an's home to copy. yeah C= currently half done. i decided to give myself a break. 5 minutes. just so to blog. lol. yeah er.. mr ang said there are usually 3 ppl in each class who gets high achiever's tea. but our class got 6. at first, i don't really care. cause i was sure i won't get it. but now i do. why did i get it? cc says i got it cause i topped in music. my every other subjects sucks. -.- i don't dare to go sia.

EL- C5
CL-B4
AM- F9
EM- C5
PHY- C5
CHM- C5
SS/H- C6
Music- A1

my results. somewhere there. you see many C(s)? yeah. HOW DID I GET IT?!

after school i met cc and wanted to eat lunch tgt. then saw teckyong. he say waiting for his ''GIRLFRIEND''. called melissa or smth. when i caught a glimpse of her, i was (thoughts).. o.O teckyong likes her? i'm shocked. (thoughts) he say what dancers dancing from 2.30 to 3.30pm. he waiting all the way. like wtf. time is precious. idiotic teckyong dunno how to cherish time.. then like few minutes later cc and i went to hub eat. i ate beef noodles and he ate jap food. he eat halfway dun wan eat liao. dnno why. then i ate his salad. he say it was disgusting? its nice. then i ate ice kachang. my favourite. lol. i accidentally dropped a chunk of ice on the table. oops. then cc's classmate walk pass me say: eee so dirty~ i was.. (...) i looked at the mess. its so nice lor. mixture of yellow liquid and green, a bit brown in the middle too. nice contrast lol.

then i went down to nokia shop look at 2 phones. nokia 5310 and nokia 5610. express music. both walkman phones. 5610 is slide, 5310 is thinner. i'm still deciding on which to get. then haven't got the time to see finish, 169 come liao. so i took the bus and went home. then i wait for cc's 138 to come then i go home. oh yeah. i finally got my class tee. its.. brown. i think it looks nicer than diligent's lol. i like brown itself. so. yeah. maybe i should be called.. brownie? lol.

2008-06-21T09:13:00.002+08:00

yesterday, 200608.

usual.. combined rehearsal.. boring. we did the news. all the movements.. then yo vivo.. yawnz. the dumb dance that i don't know the moves. but i seem to only hear me singing. and occasionally maruay (his highly pitched voice) and nita, when i stop singing. jeremiah keep screwing up my note-.-

i left at5.40pm with li li, hidir and nicolette. cause got this random concert that broke a hole in my pocket. usual cost was $31. we payed 20+. it is still a significant amount. that concert called.. London Sinfonietta. ( i think) the entire concert.. really. to say it badly, weird. nicely, special. to me, it seems everyone doesn't even bother about the others' playing, or even, presence. that, is of course hard. another thing, if i didn't notice wrong, they are playing off beat, wtf. thats darn hard. oh yeah. one more cute thing there is. there's a piano where a person performs John Cage's songs. well. in that piano, i suppose there are wood, rubber stuck inside. the sound that it gives out is totally weird. at first i thought someone else was playing for him. (...) well yeah. i didn't really like it that much. maybe i can't appreciate music. not in the mood? or inability? i don't know myself.

thats it. for now.

2008-06-17T18:32:00.002+08:00

170608- i really loathe that woman. i know i have no rights to do that. she's really picking on me. 3 times, from 4 to 5.50pm, including the punishment. as for the punishment. she just wants us men to spread out. yeah we did. and when we spread out, nita just pointed (something like hitting) at joshua, and she said, orange guy(joshua), don't irritate me any further. and all of us gets the punishment, 20 push ups. except cheng chuan of course. that good guy didn't spread out at all and he doesn't get punished. how interesting.
after thinking for so long. i finally known.. i don't even know whether to laugh or cry.

congratulations on your victory..

you'll always be remembered,

and i will soon be forgotten.

2008-06-16T21:15:00.002+08:00

life isn't easy these few days. i have to keep up, no matter what. i may seem to be next to everyone, but in actual fact, i'm way behind them. now all i can do.. is stare at the skies. wishing for a miracle to happen, but i'm sure it won't happen.

i've seen cheng chuan's blog. complain all you want. if you have to, remove all my posts. if you want them all to yourself. i don't mind. i'm not even supposed to be here in the first place.

so zul complained that my attitude sucks. yeah, thats me. and you can't blame me alone. i'm just trying to make him come for choir. when i ask him to come at 10, he was late 40 minutes. if it was mr chen, on a regular practise, what do you think will happen?

2008-06-12T22:42:00.002+08:00

saw the picture that was taken at SCH that day on the newspaper. i looked horrible. -.-''

2008-06-09T19:25:00.004+08:00

today went to school in half school uniform: pegasus and long pants. then went home to change to full uniform cause have to go esplanade dunno do wad. then go there i just sit here talk there. then over liao. wth-.- then after that went to yishun northpoint the arcade funland play initial d! i didn't break any records, sadly to say. but i met a ****ing noob. he's about 18 or 19. i think. and he had a small gang. including a small boy. probably his brother. both rude and stupid. the older guy came to me and challenged me while i was playing.. then he chose shomaru. that guy asked me to hold brake (for boost off). i held. after that no boost off i think. then cc ask want help? i said its 86. he said can. cc heard that guy scolding a lot of vulgarities in hokkien to me or something. i don't understand so i don't care him. i just o.O him. then he keep scolding. like i care-.- cc damn pissed off with him or something. at the end he screw up, cc won. yeah then.. i continue. he want challenge me again. the easiest map. where cars are meant to go 200+ speed. he scold all the vulgarities again. the boy said. 不踩brake ar? that guy replied: knn 我踩他们不踩. then i was.. ( knn you complain so much don't play la. phucktard.) then obviously, i lost. cause his car was better than mine. his skills = horrible. basically, he blocked me with his overpowered car. so? i chose not to continue challenging him. i took out my card. the boy took his coin and smash it on the machine. i said loudly: EH. he moved back. i put in my coin. i played ALONE. why? i don't want to mess with him. since he has a gang. oh yeah. cc said the boy had ear sticks. the boy was about.. <100 cm and he could talk. so means he's about pri 2 or 3 lor. so i played alone. all of them was like damn pissed off. cc also. me? i just giggle here giggle there, the boy look at me damn angry. i kept laughing. then i noticed the phucktard play happogahara(a tough course) story mode. he LOST. yeah LOST. i was like. saying. cc, look at him drive. then i could even turn to my right and see him play. i saw him driving horribly. i shook my head. whispered to cc: he's such a noob. (or something else, forgot liao). then i finished, i zao. bought bubble tea, then cc went to withdraw money. he ate kfc, i took some cheese fries. then we zao. yeah thats about it.

That concludes A Day in a Arcade. xD

2008-06-08T12:58:00.001+08:00

i've been rather emotional these few days. why? i've been listening to some songs. an example will be the playing song you hear as you read this post. so touching! i'm learning tt piece currently. its hard. wish me luck.

2008-06-07T00:17:00.004+08:00

i rewatched initial d stage 3 and 4. (3 was 1 hour 30 minutes, 4 was 24 episodes of 30 minutes each). at the last episode.. i learnt something.

there's always someone better

its simply for my own sake, because there are still many things i must learn.

no matter how many techiniques you acquire, even when you think you've learnt enough.. Maintaining that knowledge itself is difficult in itself..

If you don't continue to look towards the top, you won't be able to make the transition to a higher level.

don't forget what you've learnt,you're beginning to grow, more and more.

somehow.. i'm rather motivated. but yet i can't do anything about it. sigh..

its over.

its finally..

over.

2008-06-04T23:44:00.002+08:00

musical combined rehearsal... i'm not complaining that its tiring. i'm just very stressed out. everyday.. like.. everyday 11am must get ready, then leave house 2pm MUST reach school. ends at 6.45pm. (estimated delay time) then reach home about.. 7.15pm. i want more time to myself!! i have a planned recital on term 3 la. i need time to practice piano like mad!!!! zzzz and being sl isn't as easy as i expected. anything goes wrong? ZACK, i'll hold you responsible. wtf. damn pissed off.

2008-05-30T23:37:00.002+08:00

lets see. today's choir is kinda weird. mr chen's trying to train my music-.- every note he plays, he asks what interval it is. wtf-.- yeah he is a very good friend of my MEP teacher. how cruel is reality. and i'm not that smart. what major 9th-.- i don't even know that shit yet. oh and. new comm will be announced on monday! sad news is- nita said i'm gonna have 2 posts. yes. you didn't see wrongly. it is 2- spelled T-W-O. it means one more than one. (2, II) yep. two. two. two. two. two. hahaha.. i'm going crazy-.- freak la. i know what i'm gonna get lor. first one i dunno. second 1 is. STUDENT CONDUCTOR. WTF. sure 1. when nita was comm, he had 2 posts- vice pres, student conductor. so. the next who's gonna have 2 posts will take the student conductor post. thats me. how sad.

2008-05-29T23:33:00.001+08:00

well i guess its time. my blogskin is not done yet. i need my brother's help. so i'll have to wait til saturday. i've decided to let it come back for the time being. enjoy while it lasts.

2008-05-27T11:07:00.000+08:00

I don't wanna fake it anymore. I'm tired.

I'm saddened. Down. Dejected. Depressed. Weary. Ashamed. Disgusted. Hurt. Pained. Reviled. Scared. Terrified.

Numbed to it all.

I can't find back my white room of calmness. A hazy black overlays my imagined room of pure white. A growing shade threatens to consume it, grows larger by the moment.

I can't search back my own self. It's all so cluttered inside, so darkened by everything, I don't know how to find myself. I don't recognize it anymore, that's the problem.

Don't make me smile. It hurts when I do.

Crying is such an uncaccustomed action now. I didn't know how to handle it, last night. And dreams never do come true.

How do I start what never started?

~Pain bordering on physical feel~

2008-05-24T00:00:00.002+08:00

Yesterday! which was few seconds and a few minutes ago, i went to arcade at north point alone. yeah alone. cause cc has cca leadership camp thing. and i was alone. sad right. =( that wasn't the point. from school, i rushed home, then eat, as well as watch some initial d videos =x. about. 2. i changed and left home. headed for yishun mrt there. got 169 direct bus. so very cheap^^

my mindset was: find a worthy opponent. but i failed. everytime. today quite special though. at the arcade, cause i timed myself to reach home before 5pm. so i only changed $5. which can play 10 times there. actually, thinking back now, it wasn't enough, lol.

but the funny part comes in here. about 5 tokens is i play myself. ya, and usually, initial d machines would have this: 3 consecutive wins- bonus 6000 points thing, it also make you have to pay again. but the machine i played, didn't have that. so that means i can play unlimited times! really leh. but of course, with 5 tokens, that supposedly meant to play 5 rounds, i played MORE than 10 rounds.. yeah. i was so damn fking sian. i won every round.. really. i was like, blessed by some incredible luck or something. my rival overtake me, then he somehow gets pushed to the other side and bang, lose speed, and i don't lose speed, just overtake back and win. ._. weird, but.. haha. poor people who lost to me. i'm sorry.

2008-05-18T23:27:00.003+08:00

yesterday i went out with zhe an, cc, kay wei, and bob go yishun safra club play bowling. that idiot at the counter said 1 match was $2.70, and after playing, he said please pay, $4.10 each person. wtf__ <--- its just a symbol of a perpendicular line. don't think too much about it. yeah first game i came in third. second game i came in last. why? i'm a noob :) and i'm proud of it. yeah after that, zhe an and cc played another round. which means another $4.10. they're paying. SO. when i was gonna exit, i saw POOL table! cool! $2 only! so. i went to persuade them to play. and after 5 seconds of persuasion, they agreed! and then we played! 5 person to a table. how boring was that. after that, i vs cc. i owned him badly. sorry cc. then next game zhe an, kah wei and bob played. then, i vs zhe an. i luckily won him. why? i too early knock out my balls, then end up all zhe an's ball blocking the black one. can't hit. -.- ending i lucky then can hit in. lol :) then. kah wei had to go. so we walk to yishun interchange. he left there whilst we went towards north point. first thing that came into my mind: ARCADE. but zhe an disturbed that thought. his mind: FOOD. so okay lor. it was 3pm, btw. and so, we departed to northpoint B2, just to find POSB bank for cc to withdraw money. he thought AXS bank could accept. but he didn't see the word below the AXS bank: Pay your crediting bills here. i was like: ............................. okay. so someone found the POSB bank, i forgot who. then he go collect.. $20. then, we headed for long john silvers, eat chicken, and french fries. which tastes not really nice. then? of course arcade la. that was what i was waiting for for so long! tsk. i changed $4 to tokens for initial d. skip. since all of u 100% no interest. then! zhe an played with bob the basket ball game. they together threw in 243. it was really a lot. :O me and cc tried. horrible score. 40<x<50. horrible right? yeah i suck. that basket ball game wasted a lot of my money. :( sobs. that day really spent a lot. sobs. and i was still gonna save for some other stuffs... guess its hopeless, since arcade is my career.

thats it then. cc forced me to post, with a gun on my head.

2008-05-11T13:33:00.002+08:00

yawnz. yesterday went to library with zhe an, likiong and nicolette. study music. li kiong and nicolette 12+ leave le. so left me and zhe an, very sian. then zhe an decided that he wants to play mah jong. cheng chuan and leong hong wei were free at that time. so we met up. cc brought the mah jong cards. no chips. we went to some HDB downstairs sat on the chairs and played. 东风 only. cause time passed too quickly. the scores are as follows:-
Zhe An - 0 win(s)
Leong - 1 win(s)
CC - 2 wins
Me - 2 wins.

What does this show? Choir pawns Band! XD

lol. that was just a joke. k thats all.

2008-05-09T18:46:00.002+08:00

today played showhand with zhe an and cheng chuan. from 12 to 5.30pm. yep. zhe an. no errors. Z-- A- taught him how to play showhand, (he alr know some), and mahjong. cc and i taught him many many things. dnno whether he will rmb anot. then we played. 3 person mahjong. we got rid of the bamboos and flower-4. then when we played for real, zhe an at the end only lose $7, where i won $3, cc won $4. (FAKE MONEY. just chips we use to represent.)

he's not bad eh, a potential gambler. i will make sure he gets famous. ^^ (when IR is done, we shall all head there! XD)

2008-05-06T16:03:00.002+08:00

ok ok, since many many ppl want me to update. i shall.

today's chinese and E math 2. chinese was. easy. but i was daydreaming all the while and wasting time. =x just nice finished the paper. i didn't know the first compre(理解问答） was talking about a CEMETERY. =.= can't believe it.

k E math. was super freaking easy. i dilly dally cause I WAS SNEEZING THROUGHOUT THE 2H30MIN PAPER. WTF. lucky its 2h 30min, if not i can't finish. i heard clarence chiong e math in 1 hour, then he like.. sian diao. (idiot)

k SHORT post. ya? don't complain. 别得寸进尺.

Even if the morrow is barren of promises,
Nothing shall forestall my return.

2008-03-28T20:14:00.002+08:00

summary of today. tiring. ridiculous. tiring.

firstly. after school i went to patrick's house with shaun, to get a psp game. supposedly PSONE game that can be played on PSP. ya, then i play monster hunter with shaun, he rush better items for me. then.. play play play. then go back to school. shaun bring me go sit 159. then stop at jubilee, i take 269 go back school. it was 2.30pm, and choir started at 2. i DIDN'T KNOW OKAY. then ms ng asked me.. what position i would like for choir, cause i'm chosen to be a commitee. i just shrugged and say i didn't want to be, cause every thursday i got MEP skipping choir. so no point. ya then skip these. after choir, i went to amk hub to meet Shaun and Chun Kiat. we played monster hunter tgt for like an hour plus i think. until 5.30pm. then they took 73 home. i took 138 home. oops not home. to rephrase it in a nicer way, i payed 45 cents to sleep on a luxurious Mercedes. yep. 45 cents, go one round come back amk hub. about 1 and half hour. then i was like.. where am i.. what am i doing here.. oh shit. i overslept.. then i went to 138 wait for bus cause there the queue longer. then i was peeping at the 169 area. then finally got 169, so i run over. then outside school there i saw xiao mei, she boarded 169 too.
throughout the bus ride i was half asleep. but i just pinched myself and told myself DO NOT SLEEP YOU BLOODY BASTARD. so i end up not sleeping. then finally alight. i walk with xiao mei cross traffic lights, then tell her this whole incident, only the part where i sit 138 1 whole round back to amk hub. she just laughed at me-.- then we talked abt yu xuan leaving.. then ya she go home, i go home. then my brother laughed at me: so, did you have a nice trip?
i was like.. : (...)

2008-03-26T20:45:00.002+08:00

i wonder what kind of person i will be in the future. a decent chap, or a gambler?
i've been playing showhand, and kinda obsessed. whats wrong with me.. dammit. what to do ar.. meow.. even my 6 girlfriends can't save me. =(( die le sobbz

2008-03-25T06:52:00.001+08:00

okay.. yesterday was funny.
cc came to my house nearby roti prata shop to play showhand. hahaha most games i win la, then play blackjack, he was bloody lucky. he say want to blackjack, A and 10. really come out. next match, he say want ban ban, A and A, REALLY COME OUT. wtf-.-

2008-03-09T23:35:00.002+08:00

8th March:
went to Presbyterian high with cc for a fun fare, or sorts. i had $30 worth of tickets to play around. and we. of course, played.
there were loads and loads of stalls. about 1/2 is games, and 1/2 is food and drinks.
there were some games we didn't play. mostly: soccer. i mean, just kicking the ball to hit a cardboard, or going through a wheel, which is super hard.
games we played: throwing a tennis ball to hit cans of soft drinks down. (the cans were filled with rice i think.)

Using a toy gun to shoot some pokemon down from a spoon/fork. this game, was a total joke. people in front of us, were helped by the wind. cause the pokemon was placed on a cardboard, which leant on a table. behind is a white long cloth. when the wind blows, the cloth would move. and when it moves, the cardboard will move. and if all are done together, boom. some pokemon will fall. even though u didnt hit it. but, when it was cc's turn, they grew smarter. they didn't place it on the table. and let it hang on air. i shot 6 down i think. cc about the same. (i forgot).

Hammering a mothball. this game. tmd. waste money. a person releases a mothball through a steel 'pipe' a short 1. and u're supposed to BREAK it. pay money for 5 tries. me and cc couldn't even hit it once. -.-

throwing 7 pingpong balls onto a .. whats that called. u know those stuffs u place eggs in? yeah. is it called a carton? yeah i got 2 missed. and 1 entered the 'best' prize. 4 entered 'normal' prize.

food: bought a ''buddy combo''. $5 for 2 toasts, i wanted peanut butter, cc took chocolate. and 2 milos. toasts = 2 bread. those u buy at seven 11. so it was. very expensive. milo was 125ml. -.-

cc went to buy 3 ice pops for $1, which is NOT ice. -.-

okay la, a bit expensive, but was quite fun. quite long never play these games le. x_x

k thats the update in March

2008-03-04T20:21:00.003+08:00

whenever you need help, i'll be there.

but whenever i need help, why won't you?

I cannot answer that.

Its too hard to read minds.

hmmph.

i'm going to hate..

you should not hate anything.

I'm trying to control..

keep trying. you'll succeed.

2008-03-01T23:18:00.010+08:00

life is getting boring.
i can't do well in anything.
probably thats why.
getting emotional these days.
why.. why am i like this?
all i want is to be like 'that'..

we're only human.

we are special in different ways.

not to mention life is unfair.

some people are born unlucky

some lucky.

i'll give you 3 words that might help you.

resign to fate.

2008-02-26T18:25:00.001+08:00

oh look. i got better!

297 words

Speed test

2008-02-26T18:18:00.001+08:00

271 words

Speed test

not clear:

I type

271 words

per minute.

LOL!! can you type that fast?

2008-02-23T23:23:00.003+08:00

Exams over, means people are busy playing, relaxing, sleeping(due to insufficient rest), and etc. I noticed, how boring my life can get without my brother.
like today. woke up late. very late. 10.30a.m when i was supposed to have tuition at 9 to 10.30. and 10.30, bathe, and prepared to go out to meet my IPW group for CIP. and, thankfully, both were cancelled. Thank God. i wouldn't have time to prepare.

So, this Saturday was like no other Saturdays. Computer, and MORE computer, of course, to get back all those time i missed out due to preparing for exams. because Hong Zhi wasn't online, i didn't feel like playing dota, and San Andreas? nah. so i was like. (sian.. zzz) print new piano scores to learn. difficulty? *****/***** (5 out of 5) why? its in B major. all 5 sharps. and its probably the first time i'm going to play a song with 5 sharps. good luck to me.

Then luckily, cheng chuan introduced to me a pretty interesting game. Viwawa.com/
thank God it accompanied me for the whole day. it is a game, you can buy avatars to make yourself look nicer. the boys clothes were so horrible looking, i went to get girls clothes. ( don't get me wrong here). you need to play games to earn money, and you can buy skills for some games. the 'skills' here are cheating abilities. for example. 大老二, in other words, tai di(named by many). there are 5 skills. 1 is to peek. 1 is to reveal that person's card for everyone to see. 1 is to swap a card with a random one from someone. 1 is to meditate, which means, you change a card you don't want, to another card you want. yep. the 'skills'. its quite interesting. and there's mahjong too! =) my favourite game. although its not really fun to play, because the beginner's channel lets you be able to win without having any ''tai''. i don't know how to explain ''tai''. so yayun, sorry ar. hmm.. so thats all i guess.

good night to all. and to me=)

2008-02-23T13:37:00.002+08:00

yestd went to school at 6.45 to catch the 'big fish'. the start was. uninteresting, furthermore, there wasn't subs, and their english was.. -.- hard to understand. yep. so i conplained for subs, ms angie sim went to add it in. then we watched the rest. i don't really have much to say about that show. cause i missed the entire first part. (for $2, quite worth alr) yeah then went to amk hub for dinner. in the bus, we wanted to stop 1 stop before hub, to eat macs. then cheng chuan changed his mind, want to go eat food court. i go toilet. then they come toilet find me say no more food liao. (expected, it was 10.10+ pm -.-) so we go arcade first, and then we see some ppl play initial d 4. all machines taken. so, forget it. go eat then go home.
yep. thats all for 22 february.

oh wait. add ons. yesterday had piano recital. for O lvl music, so was dismissed at 11.30am. to walk to amk sec to practise. zhe an and nicolette played duets. 4 hands, and 3 hands. then each had their own solo pieces. then hidir's solo, then 2 girls from amk sec, then me! then 1 girl not from amk sec, and li kiong. my first song was okay. near perfect. second song just pulled my grades down. -.- i regret now>< i repeat notes MORE than 20 times. so you can imagine how horrible it sounded like. sad case. so my marks was like very low. 29/50. crap it. -.-
okay thats it then.

2008-02-15T22:21:00.000+08:00

A Love Story: 'What I Did for Love'

READ THIS: This is an extremely sweet love story I stumbled across online that I felt was worth reading and everybody else should read it too. I know it's really long and when I first encountered it, I was like 'No way I'm reading this it's way too long' but then I started reading it. Once I started reading it I couldn't stop and I was all getting emotional and crying too. I printed it for my friends to read and they were crying during class as they were reading it. Well if you're a fan of mushy-gushy make-you-cry love stories, this story is for you. When I found it online, no author name was written, but whoever the person who wrote it is, it's a very good story! So what are you waiting for? Read on and sorry the spacing and stuff is a little messy. Enjoy.

********** PART 1 **********
June 17, 1999
My name is Mina Nam. I’m 19, still very yout I am dying. Not right now but my l is slowly fading away as I’m writing my story. At this moment I’m sitting at ‘our’ spot. Mine and Eun Ji Won, the love of my life. The sun is slowly beginning to set over the lake. I took a glance at my reflection in the water. My outside looks have changeddrasticallywithin the past few months, but the water reflected the true me. InsideI’m still the same person. I have done and given so much for love but never once, have I received it back from Ji Won. There are times that I wanted to tell him everything that I’ve done for him and make him love me back. But I can’t. Love is not selfish. So I did what felt right. I keep giving Ji Won my love and I never asked for his love in return. Even though I’ll leave this world pretty soon, my love for him will still remain. My story begins when I first met Ji Won six years ago on this one fateful day. It all started out….
********** PART 2 **********
October 31, 1993
“You better come back here you good for nothing brat!” I covered my ears with my palms. That was my stepmother calling me. Her voice sounds murderous and I didn’t want to face her today. She had slapped and hit me too much already. I’m afraid I can’t take it anymore so I hid in my closet. I peeked through the crack in my closet and saw my stepmom with a really pissed off look on her face. She was holding that stick that I’m always afraid of. I winced thinking about how much it would hurt if she hits me with it again. I’m just thirteen and whoever said 13 was an unlucky number, they were right. My mom had died when I was just turning ten. Before she died she told me that I was the most beautiful girl in the world and how proud she was to be my mother. She said even though she’ll be gone, her love is with me always. Tears rolled down my cheeks. ‘If you love me mommy, how can you be so selfish to leave me?’ So now when I had turn 13 my dad had married Mok Young A, who is my stepmom today. She was a cold-hearted woman who tortured me all day. Any self-esteem I had for myself was shattered and I was living a nightmare. My closet door suddenly opened. “There you are you wicked girl!” My stepmom started cussing at me as she pulled me out and threw me onto the floor. I began to tremble because I knew what was going to happen next. *Whack whack whack.* I cried out in pain but I knew that no one is going to hear my cries. I desperately began to gasp for air. My heart was aching again. I couldn’t breathe. “Not again! Don’t you see how much you’re costing your father and me with your heart problems? If it wasn’t for all these medical bills we wouldn’t be so poor now!” I had this heart condition where air would suddenly shut off and I couldn’t breathe. The doctors are tryingto save me by giving me a respirator and pills, but they’re not sure how much longer I’ll be able to live. My dad (who was a pathetic excuse for a man) came in. He looked down at me with sorrowful eyes. He held my stepmom’s arm lightly and said, “I think she had enough. You don’t want her to have another attack. Calm down and let’s have dinner.” “That’s why I’m hitting her!” she yelled. “She got detention and stayed after school for an hour. She was supposed to be home to go buy food for dinner and make it. Your daughter is so evil. She wants me to starve or something!” “I didn’t get detention. The teacher wanted to talk to me about-“ But I was cut off by the whack of my stepmom’s stick. I cried silently in pain and turned away. I didn’t want to look at her. My dad said, “Well, dinner’s just going to be a little late today. Mina, say sorry to your mom.” Despite the pain, I managed to say, “Sorry mom. Please forgive me.” My dad handed me some money. “Here. Go buy food to make mee-yuk-gook tonight.” My stepmom’s temper simmered down a little as my dad lead her out of my room. I picked up the money and headed for the store. Mr. Choi, the owner of Choi Food Market, shook his head as I walked in. He knew what kind of hell I was going through. I finished my shopping and checked out. “That’ll be $3.49.” “What?” I asked. “Umm…Mr. Choi. That’s impossible. With all this stuff it should be around $15.” “I know Mina.” Mr. Choi gave me a sad smile. “The exact price is $14.32. Why don’t you keep the change for yourself?” I opened my mouth in shock. “Mr. Choi…I..I can’t do that,” I said as I handed him 20. He only took five. “No. Keep it. I know that stepmom of yours don’t give you any money.” I looked up at Mr. Choi with tears in my eyes. Here he was, just a friend reaching out to me. I said thanks and headed for home.
********** PART 3 **********
I decided to take a shortcut home but as I passed the alley, a hand pulled me in. I was knocked to the ground and a shadow hovered over me. I began to scream but the same hand covered my mouth. “Shut up or I’ll kill you!” I shut my mouth instantly. I didn’t want to die yet. In the moon’s reflection I got a good look of my attacker. It was a boy who looked a little bit older than me. His face and clothes were dirty but he had really good features so I could tell he was extremely good-looking. But this was not a time to think about such things. He held a table knife at my throat and said, “Give me all your money or I’ll kill you.” I panicked but I knew what to do. I used the move I wanted to use on my stepmom every time she pinned me down and hit me. I kicked him hard right into his family jewels. He gasped and fell to the floor, dropping the knife. I picked up my groceries and ran. I guess you can call me the dumbest person alive. I was afraid I had kicked the boy too hard and permanently damaged him. Besides, since my life is hell already, I didn’t want him to go through it too. So I turned back. When I came back to the alley, the boy was still lying on the floor. He was moaning softly. I lifted him up gently. “Are you okay?” I asked. He shook his head no. “I’m sorry,” I said to him. I reached into my pocket and pulled the money Mr. Choi gave me. “If you need money, then here. All I have is ten dollars.” I placed the money in his hand and walked away. He looked at me with this weird expression that I couldn’t read. I picked up my groceries and this time I left without turning back. I could tell the boy was watching me as I was walking away…
********** PART 4 **********
Ji Won stared at the girl who had just walked away. ‘She must be the nicest or dumbest person in this world,’ he thought. He began to stand up but had to use the wall for balance. That girl had kicked him a little too hard. Ji Won had just run away from home again. He had ran away so many times that the alley was his second home. When he ran away he always stole his parents’ money. They were the richest people in all of Hawaii but they were also the most messed up family. His dad would have a lot of women with him and would betray a friend if it would bring him money. His mom, on the other hand, was an exact duplicate of his dad. She always had these young men around her and spend money like crazy. His parents were divorced and lived on opposite ends of Hawaii. ‘*bleep* and bastard,’ thought Ji Won. When he ran away this time, he didn’t have the chance to steal any money from his dad. So he had no choice but to rob somebody. When he saw the young girl walking out of the store, she seemed to be the perfect target. But things didn’t turn out as planned. Ji Won kept wondering why the girl gave him the money even though he could have killed her. Ji Won knew he couldn’t take the money because she was the first person in his messed up life that was nice to him because she wanted to be, not because she wanted something from him. He wanted to give the money back. When he gained some of his strength back, he began to chase her…
********** PART 5 **********
When I came home, I was greeted by the usual words. ‘Ugly wretch, wicked girl, freeloader,etc.’ but luckily I made it through dinner fine. When dinner ended,my parents went to sleep leaving me with the dishes. I cleaned the table and washed the dishes. I also took out the trash and then suddenly I felt someone grab me from behind. My attacker turned me around to face him. It was the same boy I met in the alley. I began to panic. “I gave you all my money already! What more do you want from me?” He raised a finger to his lips and tried to shush me. I felt one of my attacks coming on. I started to hyperventilate and couldn’t breathe. I was beginning to black out. Ji Won looked at the girl who looked like she was going to die. “Oh my God! Are you okay?” This time it was the girl’s turn to shake her head no. Then she collapsed in his arms. Ji Won didn’t know what to do but he had to save her life. He began to give her mouth to mouth. “Come on,” he whispered to her. “Breathe. Don’t die on me.” After a while she began coughing and opened her eyes. I opened my eyes and saw a blurry object heading towards me. Then I felt something soft pressing against my lips and I felt a gust of air. Then I realized the boy was giving me air. I couldn’t believe what was happening. I blushed and gently pushed him away. “Thank you for saving me. I’m okay now.” The boy turned slightly red. “Uhh…you’re welcome. You kinda scared me there.” “Sorry about that. Well, what is it that you want from me?” “Here.” He handed me back the same ten dollars I had given him. I looked up at him. “No, it’s okay. Keep it. I think you need it or you wouldn’t have tried to rob me.” He shook his head. “No. I just wanted to borrow it only. I don’t take charity. Well, goodbye.” Just as he walked away, I heard his stomach grumble. I bit my tongue so I wouldn’t laugh. Since he didn’t take charity, I said, “Um, hey. I just made some food and I don’t know if it’s good or not. I need a guinea pig because I don’t want to serve it to my parents if it isn’t and besides, you did save my life. Ji Won looked at her. ‘Why is she being so nice to me?’ he thought. He knew she was just saying that because she heard him say he doesn’t want charity. Ji Won’s stomach was growling like crazy. He haven’t ate for 2 days already and the mention of food was killing him. “Uh, okay. I guess I’ll be your guinea pig since I have nothing to do.” He studied her face as she smiled at him. ‘She’s pretty,’ he thought as he smiled back.
********** PART 6 **********
I let the boy wait outside as I got some of the leftover mee-yuk-gook for him. He finished it in less than a minute. Then he leaned back and sighed. Out of nowhere, he let out a burp. I had to giggle. He looked at me and smiled. “Sorry about that.” “It’s okay.” I hesitated before I asked him the next question. “Umm…so what’s your name?” He glanced at me and then stared at the ground. I could tell he was debating to tell me his real name or not. I didn’t want him to feel obligated to telling me his name. “It’s okay. You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to.” Ji Won looked at her surprised. “No! It isn’t that!” he yelled. She stared back at him surprised too. Then he lowered his voice. “I’m sorry. Please don’t misunderstand.” She nodded her head slowly and Ji Woncan tell that she was confused. Ji Won felt that he could trust her and he wanted her to be his friend. “My name is Eun Ji Won and you are?” “Nam Mi-Na, but call me Mina. It’seasier to remember.” Then she gave him the sweetest smile. Ji Won felt his heart beat a little faster when she smiled at him. He blushed and looks away. “So uh, how old are you?” “13,” she replied. “And you Ji Wonee?” He smiled when she called him that. “I’m 15,” he said turning back to look at her. “15?” I asked in disbelief. Ji Won nodded. “Where are your parents oppa? You’re too young to be living in the streets.” He shrugged his shoulders. “I can take care of myself.” I gave him a doubting look because he was trying to pull that tough guy act on me. “It’s okay though,” he told me. “I have a family. It’s just that things are bad at home so I’m just getting away from it for a while.” ‘So he ran away,’ I figured out. I could tell that Ji Won was a good person. “Do you have a place to stay tonight?” He shook his head. “How about staying in my room then,” I offered. Ji Won couldn’t believe his ears. He stared at Mina. ‘Did she just offer him a place to stay?’ “Ji Won?” Mina asked as she waved a hand in front of his face. “Are you okay?” Ji Won shook his head and snapped out of it. She placed her hand on his knee. “Oppa, I asked if you want to stay in my room for tonight?” Ji Won was so touched that he felt his heartache. No one had ever cared about him so much but he didn’t want to feel as though he owed her. “No thanks.” Mina looked at him with her big sad eyes. “Please oppa? I’m afraid of the dark.” Ji Won smiled. He knew she was lying so he would say yes. For the first time in his life, Ji Won felt warm inside because now he is wanted. He let out a sigh. “Aigo Mina, okay. You talked me into it. But just for tonight though.” She giggled and nodded. “Okay.”
********** PART 7 **********
Silently, I led Ji Won into my room. My room was small and luckily, it was far away from my parents so they can’t hear much. I let Ji Won have the bed while I take the floor. ‘Damn,’ I thought. ‘Why does the floor have to be so cold and hard?’ Ji Won stared down at Mina who was trying to sleep on the cold stone floor. He picked her up easily and lifted her onto the bed. “Oppa? What are you doing?” I whispered as my eyes grew wide. “Do you trust me?” he asked. I nodded my head slowly. “Good,” he said. “This bed is small but it’ll fit both of us.” My eyes grew wider at what Ji Won had just said. But I had just told him that I trust him. I couldn’t take my words back so I had no choice but to sleep with him. We both got in my bed and slept side-by-side. I was so nervous, I couldn’t sleep. Ji Won, on the other hand, had no problem. He fell asleep instantly. I turned my head over to look at him. His face was so innocent like an angel when he was sleeping. Who would have thought he was such a devil when he’s awake and moving? An hour had passed and it was 3’ in the morning. I still couldn’t sleep. Suddenly something weird happen. Ji Won turned his entire body around and did a 360, kicking me. “Ow!” I cried out but covered my mouth so my parents wouldn’t hear me. When he was done, he had this happy look on his face. At first I thought he was just playing with me but he really did do a 360 in his sleep. Suddenly he reached over and held me tight. My entire body went tense and rigid. I could feel Ji Won’s light breathing on my neck. I don’t know why but now that Ji Won was this close (practically laying on top of me) made me feel better. It’s probably cause I’ve never been this close to a person in a long time. Soon I began to fall asleep too…
********** PART 8 **********
November 1, 1993

Ji Won opened his eyes and found himself laying partially on Mina’s body. He blushed and slowly moved away from her. Then he just laid near her watching her sleep. Suddenly it caught his eyes. The sleeves and pant legs of her pajamas were lifted up and he got a good look at her arms and legs. Dark purple bruises cover her entire body. There were several scars on her legs and arms too. Red lines run across her legs and it made Ji Won wince because it looked so painful. He didn’t want to disturb Mina but he was really curious. She turned over and Ji Won lifted the back of her shirt. It was even worse than her legs. Ji Won opened his mouth lightly in shock and touched her bare back delicately, fearing that he might hurt her. Mina began to stir. I rubbed my eyes and sat up. I saw Ji Won looking at me with this sad expression on his face. “What’s wrong oppa?” I asked. “Who did this to you?” Then he lifted the sleeve of my shirt. I opened my mouth in shock. I tried to hide it but I couldn’t believe he saw my bruises. As I tried to answer him, I heard my stepmom’s footsteps heading towards my room. “Oppa!” I yelled, turning back to Ji Won, who was rubbing my bruises. “You have to get out of here! My mom is coming!” Ji Won looked at me surprised but I opened my window for him to climb out. “Climb down this tree. Goodbye Ji Wonee,” I said to him with tears in my eyes. Ji Won remained silent the whole time as he left her room. But he didn’t leave though. He sat on the branch of her tree and looked through her window. He couldn’t hear what Mina and her mom were talking about but he saw it. He saw Mina’s mom bring out a small wooden stick and whack Mina with it several times. Ji Won couldn’t take it anymore. He busted back into Mina’s room.
********** PART 9 **********
I looked up at my stepmother in pain. “I’m sorry mom. I didn’t know we’re supposed to have guests today.” She glared at me with cold hatred in her eyes. “Mr. Eun, of the Eun HotelEmpire all over Hawaii, is coming to visit us. Your father might get a promotion if we make a good impression! You’re supposed to be awake half an hour ago to prepare all of us tea! Now Mr. Eunis down there expecting tea! What am I supposed to do now huh?” My stepmom began to breathe rapidly as her anger increased. I saw her raise that stick of hers again. I curled myself up hoping the pain would lessen but I know it wouldn’t so I prepared myself for the strike… Ji Won caught the stick just before it would hit Mina. Mina’s mother stared at Ji Won in surprise. Mina opened her eyes and stared at Ji Won in shock. He looked down at her. “Mina, are you okay?” “Ji Won!” I screamed. “What are you doing here?” Ji Won looked back at me. “I came to save you from this evil *bleep*.” My stepmom twisted her face in hate. “I knew you were trouble all this time Mina. How dare you bring this boy home? Wait until I tell your father about this!” Ji Won grabbed my stepmom’s arm to stop her. “You do that and I’ll have you fired!” I stared at Ji Won dumbfounded. ‘What is he talking about?’ “What are you talking about you juvenile delinquent?!” snapped my stepmom. “I mean,” said Ji Won glaring at her. “ That you’re having tea with my father right now and I’ll get you and your husband fired if you hit Mina one more time.” I look at Ji Won surprised. ‘Ji Won is the heir of the Eun Hotel Empire? His family is the richest in all of Hawaii!’ My stepmom looked at Ji Won doubtfully. “If you’re his son, then how come you’re so filthy?” Ji Won gaveher a smirk. “I know you want proof. How about all of us go down there to talk to my dad?” My stepmom looked at him and thought, ‘This is the only way for real evidence. He might get us a promotion.’ Then she said, “Come on then, boy. Let’s go.”
********** PART 10 **********
All three of us came downstairs together. Ji Won had to help me down because my legs were too weak to support me. Ji Won helped me sit on the couch and he faced the strange man before me. Mr. Eun glared at Ji Won. “Hi dad,” said Ji Won. “Where the hell have you been Ji Won?” shouted Mr. Eun. My family just watched them yell at each other. Ji Won shrugged his shoulders. “Around.” It made Mr. Eun really mad but he never hits Ji Won. He continued yelling. Ji Won didn’t really listen and after a while he cut his dad off. “Look dad, shut up about it already and we’ll talk about it at home.” ‘Dang,’ I thought. ‘I could never talk to my parents like that.’ Mr. Eun shuts up. “Okay son, we’ll talk about it at home.” Then Ji Won gestured his hand at my entire family. “The Nams were nice enough to let me stay at their house. You owe them dad.” Mr. Eun nodded. “Fine. Joon and Young A, you two just got a raise.” My stepmom got so excited. “Thank you Mr. Eun!” “Come on Ji Won,” said Mr. Eun. “Let’s go home. And have that talk.” Ji Won brushed his dad’s hand ff his shoulder. “Later dad. I’ll be home in an hour.” His father glared at him. Ji Won glared back. “I said one hour.” Mr. Eun knew Ji Won was stubborn. So he agreed. “Fine then. One hour.” After Mr. Eun left Ji Won talked to my parents. “Listen here,” he said as he sat down next to me. “I can get you hired and fired just like that.” And he snapped his fingers. “We know, we know,” said my stepmom sweetly, pouring Ji Won some tea. Ji Won didn’t drink it. “All I want is for you two to not touch Mina anymore. If I see another bruise on her, you knowthe consequences. Ji Won held my hand the entire time he spoke with my parents. I felt a strange warmth going through me and I knew that right then and there that I was falling in love with Eun Ji Won. My dad remained quiet while my stepmother talked. “Of course Ji Won.” Ji Won rolled his eyes. “Okay, and I’ll make sure you keep your promise.” Then Ji Won turned to face me. “Come on, let’s go.” “What?” I asked confused. “Go to my house with me.” “Go go!” said my stepmom pushing me towards Ji Won. “Have fun kids and stay out as long as you like.” I knew my stepmom was really ticked off but she was playing it off pretty well.
********** PART 11 **********
Ji Won continued holding my hand and never once did he let it go. The walk to his house took us 15 minutes and I was enjoying every minute of it. When we reached his house, Ji Won let out a sigh. “Mina,” he said softly. “Just stay quiet and let me do the talking okay?” I nodded my head and we entered his house. His house was huge! I felt as though I’m a peasant walking through a castle. He even had a few maids and butlers who attended us. Ji Won led me to his room. It was nice and clean but there were a lot of holes all around his walls. I sat down on his bed as he went into the bathroom to take a quick shower. When he was done, he came out and sat next to me, holding my hand. I really am in love. “Ji Won, how come your walls have a lot of holes?” He shrugged his shoulders and I massaged it for him. As he relaxed, he answered me. “Oh, it’s cause I fight with my parents a lot so I take it out on the walls.” Judging by the holes, I can tell that he was really angry every time he made one. “Come on,” he said. He lifted me up on his back and gave me a piggyback ride downstairs. He smelled so good now that he’s clean and fresh. His dad was waiting for him in the den. I waited outside while Ji Won came into facehis dad. Ji Won came in, uninterested in what his dad had to say. “What is it dad?” “Ji Won, son…this is getting to be very tiring. Every few weeks you would run away, leaving me and your mother worrying about you.” Ji Won smirked. “Sure you’re worried. That’s why you’re out with those hoes and mom’s out with those morons. It’s because I’m your only son. You’re just scared that when grandpa passes away he won’t put our family on the will.” His father got angry. “Well do you want it to end up on your uncle’s side?” Ji Won gave his dad a look that showed he didn’t care. His dad continued talking. “Since I managed to have a son and my brother have no kids, I have the advantage. Son, listen to me. You know you’re my heir. All my wealth will be pass down to you.” Ji Won looked at his dad disgusted. “All you care about is money! You don’t care about me!” he yelled as he stormed out of the den. Ji Won slammed the door open and grabbed my hand. “Come on, let’s go.”
********** PART 12 **********
I was confused and didn’t know what had happened. Ji Won held my hand and took me to the beach near his house. On the sand there were these 2 huge rocks. Ji Won led me over there. He lifted me up and we sat side by side. We remained silent until Ji Won took a deep breath of the ocean air. “I love this place, don’t you?” he said to me smiling. I returned his smile and held onto his hand tighter. “Ji Won, what’s wrong?” Ji Won avoided my eyes. “Nothing.” I turned his chin to face me. “Come on, you know you can tell me.” He nodded. “It’s my dad and this stupid feud he has with my uncle. They’re fighting over who will get the larger part in my grandpa’s will.” “Oh…” I said softly. “Isn’t it stupid?” he asked laughing. “My grandpa’s not even dead yet!” I understood what was bothering him. So I didn’t say anything because I know he doesn’t want me to worry about it. He threwarock into the ocean and it skipped three times. “Perfect” he said. “Why is it perfect?” I asked. “Age ain’t nothing but a number right?” he asked me, changing the subject. I thought about it for a while and nodded. “Since I’m older than you by two years, that makes me your oppa,” Ji Won said to me. “Yup,” I answered, smiling. Ji Won smiled back. “I love you….” I felt my heart my heart filled with a bubble of love but then Ji Won continued talking..”as a dongsang.” My bubble bursted. This was not what I had expected him to say. I stared at Ji Won with wide eyes. I knew it was pretty forward of me but I had to ask. “Y…your….donsang?” I managed to stutter out. Ji Won looked back at me with his puppyish eyes and smiled. He nodded his head gently. Have I been reading all his signs wrong? “So what do you say?” he asked. “Want to be my dongsang?” Even though it was breaking my heart, I had no choice but to agree. I nodded. “Yes, I want to be your dongsang oppa.” “Good,” he said. Ji Won nodded and reached into his pocket. He pulled out a small silver knife. I stared at him with wide eyes. “Ji Won, what are you going to do with that knife?” He asked, “Do you trust me Mina?” I nodded my head without hesitation. I trusted Ji Won with my whole heart. He smiled at me. “Good. Lower the back of your shirt.” Ji Won pulled the back of my shirt down. Then he used that knife to cut me. “Ow!” I screamed in pain but he continued anyways. He carved a small ‘E’ onto my shoulder blade. My back was bleeding and he bandaged it for me. Then he handed the knife to me. “Here. Engrave your initial ‘M’ too cuz I don’t want to use the same last name as your mom.” My hand trembled as I held the knife. I didn’t want to hurt Ji Won. “Go ahead. Don’t worry, I can stand the pain.” I engraved an ‘M’ onto Ji Won’s back. I was surprised because he didn’t let a tear drop or cry out in pain. I bandaged him and he acted asifnothing had happen. When it was over, he held me close. I held onto Ji Won tightly as if he was going to leave me. I know he only thinks of me as his little dongsang but it feels nice holding him like this. As Ji Won held onto Mina, his smiling face instantly turned sad. He wanted to say ‘Mina, I love you as a girlfriend’ so she would be his forever but he couldn’t. He wasn’t the type to admit his feelings. So he figured the scarring was not an engravement of his brotherly love to Mina, but his promised symbol as a soulmate to her forever…
********** PART 13 **********
Years had pass and I’m still with Ji Won. I didn’t think it was possible but I grew more and more in love with Ji Won everyday. We would do a lot of stuff together and we never had any fights. We argue, but it never came to the point where we would get really mad at each other and he usually let me have it my way. Kang Sung Hoon was Ji Won’s other friend and he hangs out with us a lot too. Sung Hoon is a little older than me and is really nice. He has this really cute smile that when he smiles, you can’t help but smile back. I called him ‘bang geul ee.’ His family life also isn’t good. His dad is a drunk and his mom had passed away when he was young. So usually it was the three of us together. My home life is a lot better thanks to Ji Won. My stepmom didn’t dare to touch me anymore and it’s still the same between me and my dad. We don’t talk much. Ji Won’s parents like me a lot too. It’s because when they tell Ji Won to do something and he wouldn’t do it. They would come to me. I’m kind of like their pawn. Life was heaven for me until it completely shattered on day. It started out with good news but who would have known it would end up in tragedy? June 15, 1996 Mystepmom and dad came home one day from visiting the Euns. “Guess what?” my stepmom told me excitedly. “What?” I asked calmly. “The Euns are planning a wedding for you and Ji Won!” I sat down because my knees gave out. This news hit me with total surprise but I was so happy to hear it because I’m so in love with Ji Won. “Really?” I asked excitedly? “How did this happened?” “Mr. Eun wanted Ji Won to get married and he figured you’re the girl he should marry.” “What did Ji Won say?” I had to ask. I didn’t want him to be forced into this. “Of course he agreed,” she answered. My breathing increased so I took out my respirator. After I calmed down, my stepmom took me into her room and told me all about the arrangements. Meanwhile back at the Eun mansion… “Just because you’re making this wedding for me and Mina doesn’t mean I owe you anything!” Ji Won yelled angrily at his dad. Mr. Eun grabbed Ji Won by the collar of his shirt. “Ji Won! You listen to me. Once you and Mina get married, your grandpa will give you all of his businesses. Sharing part of it with your dad isn’t asking for much is it?” Ji Won pushed his dad away. He began to laugh. “The only two people grandpa will give the businesses to is me or uncle. He won’t give it to you because you’ll spend it all on those *bleep*s! I bet all your money is gone now.” It was true. Mr. Eun was in serious debt and he needed Ji Won to get married because Ji Won’s grandpa was going to give Ji Won his inheritance once he gets married. Ji Won had just turned 18 and his dad had planned the marriage months ahead. His dad got on his knees. “Please son. Please do it for me.” Ji Won rolled his eyes. “You’re so pathetic dad.” He sighed. Living with Mina taught him compassion and sympathy for people. “I’ll see what I can do dad.” He went into his room. Just then his cellular phone rang. He picked it up, thinkingit wasMina. Using his sexy voice, he whispered, “Hi Mina.” A weird high-pitched giggle came from the other end of the line. “Ooh…”said the voice. “Hi to you too sexy.” Ji Won rolled his eyes. “Oh shut up Sung Hoon.” Using his real voice, Sung Hoon began to laugh out loud. “Gross hyung! That’s how you talk to Mina? Ew! It gives me the chills!” “Hey Sung Hoon,” said Ji Won seriously. “Is everything set and ready to go?” “Yeah hyung,” said Sung Hoon. “Good,” said Ji Won, smiling. “Meet me at the docks tonight. From there we can sail to the mainland airport and get away from Hawaii to start a new life in Korea.” “Yeah,” said Sung Hoon. “But did you tell Mina about it?” “No,” answered Ji Won, sighing. “I’m afraid she won’t leave her family. I’m planning to just kidnap her and take her along. It’s easier that way and no hassle.” “Right,” said Sung Hoon. “At least the three of us will still be together.” “Yeah,” said Ji Won. “Meet you in an hour. Get everything ready. I got our money too.” “Okay,” replied Sung Hoon. “Bye.” Ji Won clicked off his phone. Ji Won’s dad didn’t know it but his grandpa had given him $10 million in advance, along with hotel ownerships in Korea and Hawaii as his wedding gift. He planned to leave his dad $5 million and live off the rest with Mina and Sung Hoon. He smiled thinking about how he would get away from everything and just be with the one he loved the most, Mina.
********** PART 14 **********
Back at home I was so excited I couldn’t sleep. I know I was still young to be thinking about marriage but I know Ji Won is the only guy for me. I held my teddy bear close as thoughts of Ji Won drifted me to sleep. It was midnight now. Ji Won snuck out of his house quietly without making a noise. He carried his backpack full of money on his back. He planned to go to Mina’s house to grab her and leave. Then itwould be just him, Mina, and Sung Hoon leaving together. He was almost to Mina’s house when he realized that he was being followed. It was his uncle’s men. They came to get rid of him. Ji Won was smart. He knew the streets too well. He made it through the alley and those men end up losing him. But when Ji Won reached Mina’s house, about 10 men had surrounded her house. They all saw him approaching. Ji Won began to ran as they chased him. He made it to the dock. He saw Sung Hoon on the boat. “Hyung! Hurry! The boat is leaving!” Ji Won threw his bag onto the boat first and made a high jump. He landed safely onto the boat. His uncle’s men couldn’t chase him anymore. Ji Won and Sung Hoon started cheering until Ji Won realized what was missing. Mina. He had left her. Ji Won fell to his knees. “What’s wrong?” asked Sung Hoon. “Mina! We left her! We have to go back!” yelled Ji Won. Sung Hoon opened his mouth in shock because he just realized it too. Then he shook his head sadly. “We can’t. If we go back, we’ll just get killed and we’ll be putting Mina’s life in danger too.” Ji Won moved away from Sung Hoon, knowing that the darkness will cover his face. And for the first time in his life, Ji Won cried.
********** PART 15 **********
I woke up the next morning with this strange feeling inside me. I don’t know why but I find it disturbing. Then I remembered that Ji Won and I are going to get married soon, it subsided. When I went downstairs, my stepmom was holding that wooden stick I haven’t seen in years. I began to panic. She whacked me with it. I fell down surprised. “Where’s Ji Won?” she screamed at me. I was so confused and surprised I didn’t know what she was talking about. She kept hitting me and telling me to answer her. But how can I answer when I don’t even know myself? Then something unusual happened. My dad grabbed the stick away from my stepmom. “Stop hitting her! Can’t you tell that she can’t think straight through all that pain?” My stepmom was shocked and she kept her mouth shut because my dad never did that to her before. “Mina,” my dad said to me, holding my hand. “Ji Won ran away from home again. He’s no longer in Hawaii and the wedding’s canceled.” “He left?” I asked blankly. My dad nodded his head sadly. “How can he leave me?” I asked standing up. My stepmom’s next words hit me hard and cold like ice. “He probably left because he didn’t want to marry you.” I sunk to my knees and fell to the floor. I began to sob to myself. My parents left the room, leaving me alone. ‘How can you leave me, Ji Won? Were all those promises of taking care of me lies?’ I loved Ji Won so much. All I ever wanted is to be with him, even if he did only consider me as a dongsang. I needed to know why he left. Being with him all this time, I knew where he went. I’ll search all of Korea if I had to… One year later…
During this year, my life of hell had return. I managed to save up enough money for a ticket to Korea and money to spend. I had to work odd hours so my stepmom wouldn’t find out or she’ll take the money from me. I also had to sell some of Ji Won’s gifts to me. He was a really generous oppa who would buy me a lot of expensive clothes, jewelry, perfume, and just about anything that I wanted. I figured he wouldn’t mind because they’re just material possessions. They were a big help because I managed to trade them in for a lot of money.
July 24, 1997
I finally had enough money to leave. It took me a while to go because I knew chances are low of finding Ji Won right away. I needed extra money for my search and I had to pay double for a fake I.D. You could say that I have almost everything planned out. I got a pretty good amount so I planned on leaving today. It’s been a little over a year since Ji Won left me with no reason or explanation. I’ve gotten so much thinner because I couldn’t eat or sleep and I miss him so much. The problem I still had facing me were my parents. I know they were not going to let me leave. I was only 17. Damn. Still a minor. This year had been total hell for me and I can’t stand another year of it. I had to leave and I had a plan. I was going to fake my death. It was all so perfect. My family had to go out to a luau with Mr. Eun. He still keeps in touch with us. I guess it’s because he thinks I might know where Ji Won is. Truth is, I have no idea except I know Ji Won’s somewhere in Korea. I planned to fake a drowning. Because of my heart failure, it helped me close off my air circulation for up to 4 minutes. This time I am using it to let my family think that I have drowned and the tides drifted my body to sea so I will never be found… But before I go I had to say goodbye to my father. I hugged him hard. He looked at me surprised. “What was that for?” he asked. I shook my head. “It wasn’t for anything dad. I did it because I love you.” My dad had tears in his eyes. “I’m so sorry Mina. I’m so worthless as your father.” “No you’re not but you have to do what’s right dad. Don’t let anyone stop you and stop putting yourself down.” He nodded his head. I hugged him for the last time. “I’m going for a swim okay?” He nodded his head and watched me head toward the ocean. The plan went perfect. I stayed underwater for a while and swam myself to the other side of the beach where they couldn’t see me. All my belongings were there. I got on the dock and sailed to the mainland airport leaving Hawaii forever…
********** PART 16 **********
[Seoul, Korea] July 26, 1997
Ji Won traced the ‘M’scar on his back. ‘Damn,’ he thought. ‘I miss Mina so much.’ He sent out one of his men to retrieve news about her and if they could, get her here to him in Korea. Ji Won had it all. Money and power. The only thing that was missing was Mina. So much had happened to Ji Won as he remembered back. Ji Won and Sung Hoon made it to Seoul, Korea. With Ji Won’s leadership skills and Sung Hoon’s smooth talking, they end up getting a lot of businesses and putting others of out business. Money was not enough for Ji Won. He needed power so he created Sechs Kies, where he was the leader and Sung Hoon was his 2nd-in command. He and Sung Hoon managed to eliminate the group Quiksilver on their own and gained the respect and loyalty of the two members Kim Jae Duc and Lee Jae Jin. Along the way, they found Ko Ji Yong and Jang Su Won wandering the streets. Ji Yong proved to be a genius and Su Won was handy in finding information. Ji Won knew they were enough. They had hundreds of men under them but Sechskies were the main leaders with Ji Won as the head. They committed a lot of crimes but no evidence was ever found to convict them. Just then there was a knock on his door, interrupting his thoughts. “Come in,” said Ji Won. Jang Su Won came in. “I have news for you, boss,” he said. “Well what is it? What did you find out about Mina?” Ji Won asked. Sun Won looked down and hesitated to reply. “I’m afraid it’s bad news.” Those words made Ji Won panic. “Jang Su Won, you answer me now!” yelled Ji Won with rage. Ji Won’s yell scared Su Won so he blurted it out. “Mina Nam is dead. She drowned while she was swimming in the ocean. Her body has not been found and is still missing.” Ji Won fell back in his seat in shock. ‘Mina’s dead? No, anyone but Mina,’ he thought. Su Won knew it was a good time to leave so he left Ji Won in his office. “Mina!” Ji Won screamed out of his window in pain. His cries echoedthroughout the city of Seoul.
********** PART 17 **********
I finally made it to Chejudo, Korea. I didn’t know where to look for Ji Won so anywhere was fine. I was never a lucky person. I couldn’t find any signs of Ji Won there so I traveled to Inchun City. My search for Ji Won continued for another year. During that time I had traveled to many cities like Guam, Pusan, etc. It must have been a gift from God because one day my search was over… November 21, 1998
I had just finish my overtime shift at the Nam Hotel. It was pretty ironic because my whole family spent their lives working for hotels and here is the biggest one in all of Seoul with our family name. I went into the worker’s lounge to take a break and pour myself some tea. I sat down and read the headlines. ‘Sechskies are to open a conference broadcasting live on Channel 6 today’ I rolled my eyes. Not them again. They were the notorious mafia lead by Matthew Eun. I shuddered. I can’t believe the leader has the same last name as my beloved Ji Won. Actually 6kies was composed of 6 leaders. They committed a lot of crimes and were always challenging the authorities. They had a lot of power and no one could take their pictures without their consent but a lot of people know what they look like. I didn’t care. I was too busy looking for Ji Won to notice them. A worker with me named So Kyung Hee came in. “Hey,” she said, patting me lightly on the knee. “On break?” I took a sip and nodded. “Me too,” she said smiling. I smiled back at her. Kyung Hee was actually one of the nicest people at the hotel. Most of them were cold and just worried about how much tips they can get. Kyung Hee picked up the TV remote and turned to Channel 6. “Hey Mina, there’s supposed to be showing 6kies today. Wonder what they look like.” I nodded and watched with her. When the clock struck 9, I felt my heart had stopped and it was not from my heart failure either. I stared at the face that was giving a *bleep*y smile to the camera. Ji Won. Slowly the camera pulled out revealing the other 5 members. I recognized Sung Hoon. He and Ji Won looked completely different but I still recognized them. Ji Won had his hair dyed completely blonde while Sung Hoon’s was streaked. Kyung Hee and I watched them in silence as they began to talk. Ji Won and the others introduced themselves. Then the camera showed directly at Ji Won. To most people he would look like an evil gang leader but in my eyes he was a beautiful angel. If it was ever possible, Ji Won was even finer than before. “Mina, are you okay?” asked Kyung Hee, as she waved a hand in front of my face. “Huh?” I asked looking at her. “Oh, I’m fine. Just listening to what they have to say.” I pointed to Ji Won on the screen. “Who is he?” “That’s Matthew Eun,” she answered me. I stared at Ji Won some more. He had change his name and so did Sung Hoon. No wonder I couldn’t find them. Kyung Hee caught me staring so she smiled at me. “The leader is cute huh?” I blushed. “Yeah.” “Too bad in real life he’s such a jerk.” “He is not!” I yelled at her. Kyung Hee scooted her seat back in shock. I apologized right away. “Sorry Kyung Hee, I didn’t mean to yell at you.” She had a confused look on her face but she said, “Uh, it’s okay Mina.” I pulled a finger to my lips. “Shh…let’s listen to what they have to say…” Ji Won began talking. “This is Sechkies speaking to all you losers out there watching us. We just want to say that we’re open to hire new ‘employees’. We usually travel around to our many hotels but you’ll find us if you have the right connections. Also a word to the police of Korea. Why are you picking on us?, “ Ji Won asked sarcastically. “We’re good, law-abiding citizens.” Ji Won folded his hands together and gave a little bow. Then all of the Sechskies leaders started laughing. “Oh my gosh! Look at him!” yelled Kyung Hee and pointed to Sung Hoon on the T.V. screen. “Look at that stupid smile and that perverted laugh. Kekeke…” Kyung Hee made a poor impression of Sung Hoon’s laugh and it made me laugh. Geez, I thought. Sung Hoon would kill her if he knew she made fun of his trademark smile. The show ended a little too soon for me but Ji Won did say he was visiting many hotels and mine is the biggest one. He has to come here. I went back to work and waited for him to come.
********** PART 18 **********
Ji Won entered the main doors of the Nam Hotel and headed towards the lobby. He let out a sigh. Being in a hotel brought back to him a lot of memories. He remembered how he would take Mina to the hotels to trash it or slide down the long stairway banisters. But those carefree days are over. His only love had died and he no longer has the heart to love anyone else. Ever since the news of Mina’s death, Ji Won began to develop a passion for anything he thinks is related to her. Things like her hairbrush, the same type of lipgloss she uses, her little respirator, etc. There are times when he had to give her mouth to mouth if the respirator wasn’t around. Ji Won smiled remembering that she had told him that he was her first kiss. Mina never went out with any guys so it made him really happy but he also found it very strange. He didn’t want to give her any ideas about dating other guys so he never asked. Ji Won had changed his name to Matthew. It’s to symbolize that Ji Won died with Mina and Matthew replaced him. He chose the name Matthew because of Mina’s initial ‘M’ and if anyone asks, the ‘M’ stands for Matthew. Sung Hoon wanted to changed his name to Ricky but Ji Won wouldn’t let him. Ji Won only allowed him to change it if it had the letter ‘M’ so Sung Hoon ended up changing it to Mickey instead. “Hey hyung! Over here!” shouted Sung Hoon. JiWon looked over at his five friends. He walked over to them and was surprised at what he saw. “What the hell is this?” he asked angrily. Every single one of them had a girl in each arm. “What do you guys think you’re doing?” he asked as he strode over to them. “Come on hyung,” said Jae Duc. “Lighten up.” “Yeah,” said Jae Jin. “We worked hard all day and now let’s have a little fun.” Ji Won rolled his eyes and then he saw two girls wrap their arms around him. He smiled. “Yeah, I guess.” “Alright!” they all shouted. They like it when Ji Won is in a good mood. From where I was standing, I felt as though someone had stabbed me with a knife. Ji Won looked so happy with those 2 girls sitting on both sides of his lap. I stared at my reflection in the hotel mirror. Big, glassy eyes, pale skin, and waist-length black hair. I looked kind of like a ghost. Not much to look at, I thought sighing sadly. Then I felt a tap on my shoulder and I slowly turned around.
********** PART 19 **********
“What are you looking at?” asked Kyung Hee. Whew. I let out a sigh of relief. “They’re here,” I whispered to her. “Who?” she asked, looking over my shoulder. “SechsKies.” “Oh. So you want to go serve them?” I shook my head ‘no’ quickly. Kyung Hee laughed. “Okay. Don’t get so worked up, Mina. I’ll do it.” She took a waitress pad and headed over to their table. I remained in the corner watching them. “Hi, my name is Kyung Hee and I’ll be your waitress today. May I take your order?” All the SechsKies members looked up to the pretty, young girl who just approached them. Instantly Sung Hoon made the 2 girls on his lap move. He looked up at Kyung Hee, giving her his best smile. “I don’t know what I want for dinner, but you want to be my dessert?” The other 5 Kies members laughed while Kyung Hee rolled her eyes. “That’s so cute. Must have took you all day to think up that one huh?” “Ooh,” shouted Ji Yong. “This one has a mouth.” Sung Hoon just smiled. “Feisty. I like it.” Then he pinched Kyung Hee’s side playfully. She moved away, glaring. “Hey don’t touch me!” “Come on babe. Go out with me. I’ll show you a good time.” “Hell no!” Kyung Hee shouted back in his face. Then Ji Won stood up. “Don’t talk to my friend like that,” he said in a low threatening voice. “Or else I’ll have you fired.” Ji Won’s glare made Kyung Hee move back a little bit but she answered back anyways. “You can’t fire me! I quit!” She handed Jae Jin her apron and pad and stomped over to me in the dark corner. “Stupid, lousy jerks,” she whispered to me. “I know,” I whispered back, patting her shoulder. Suddenly, I caught Ji Won staring at me. I didn’t know what to say or do so I just left.

********** PART 20 **********

Ji Won stared at the girl who was talking to Kyung Hee. ‘She looks like Mina,’ he thought. ‘But can’t be.’ “Hyung,” said Sung Hoon. “What are you looking at?” “Her,” said Ji Won, pointing in Kyung Hee’s and Mina’s direction. “You like my waitress too?” asked Sung Hoon, pouting. “No,” said Ji Won, shaking his head. “Her friend. Doesn’t she look like Mina?” Sung Hoon glanced at the person Ji Won was pointing to and watched her walk away. “No...” said Sung Hoon slowly. “That girl’s hair is much longer and Mina has a nicer body. That chick looks like a stick.” Ji Won *bleep*ed an eyebrow at Sung Hoon. “How do you know Mina have a nice body?” Sung Hoon’s eyes widened. “I dunno… just guessing. Ji Yong’s calling me. I’ll go see what he wants,” Sung Hoon said quickly and ran over to Ji Yong right away. Ji Won began to chase the girlwho just left. I heard some footsteps following behind me. I quickly turned a corner and entered my room. Ji Won ran after her as fast as he could. He saw the girl turn a corner and he continued chasing her. He saw a figure up ahead and he grabbed her by the shoulder. When the girl turned around, she had a surprised expression on her face. “What do you want?” Ji Won looked at the strange girl. She looked nothing like Mina. “Wrong person.” The girl walked way. Ji Won sighed. ‘Maybe it’s cause I miss Mina so much that I’m beginning to see her.’ He began to walk back to the lobby, disappointedly. From my hotel room, I was watching Ji Won with the little hole in the door. I saw him pat a girl and then walk away with him head bowed down. I went over and sat down on my bed. I let out a sigh. Ji Won doesn’t miss me. He has too many girls with him already. He probably forgot who I am by now. Tears fell down my face and I didn’t even realize it. I quickly wiped them away. I wanted to tell myself that I hate Ji Won but I couldn’t because then I’d just be lying. There was only one thing left for me to do. I stood in front of my bathroom mirror. I can’t be with Ji Won as Mina, but I wanted to be by his side to watch over him. I thought about it for a while and remembered they were recruiting new members for Black Kies. I looked at myself. Hmm…if my hair is short and put into a cap, I wear sunglasses more, darken my skin with make-up, and lower my voice…I can pass for a guy. So I did it. Within an hour, I had transformed myself into a guy. I checked myself over. As a guy, I didn’t look too bad. I smoothed out my new short hair and tucked it into a cap. Guys wear earrings too so I didn’t have to worry about my earring holes. I wore a couple of T-shirts under my flannel and 2 pairs of boxers under my baggy jeans so I would fill out more and wouldn’t look so scrawny. I checked my make-up, making sure I waswell-covered. I put my sunglasses on. Perfect, I thought. Now all I have to do is have to pass the test to join the gang.

********** PART 21 **********
Ji Won walked down the aisle looking at the 5 new candidates. He nod his head as he studied them. “Pretty good,” he said to them. “Alright,” he clapped his hands for attention. “All of you know how it’s done. Jae Jin and Jae Duc will jump each of you in. If you’re still standing after 5 minutes, then welcome to SechsKies.” Only 2 of the 5 guys lasted when Jae Jin and Jae Duc were done beating them up. “Okay,” said Sung Hoon. The two newest members to join is-“ “Wait!” shouted a voice, interrupting Sung Hoon. Everyone looked over to see who it was. Ji Won stared at the young boy who was walking towards them. ‘What the hell? Damn! This kid looks like Mina!’ he thought. ‘I must be losing it. How come I keep seeing her today?’ Sung Hoon looked at the new boy curiously. “Yes? What do you want little man?” I looked at Sung Hoon. Gosh he developed an attitude, I thought. I took a deep breath. This is it. “I want to join SechsKies.” A guy I recognized as Jang Su Won busted out laughing. He placed his hand on top of my head. “You? How old are you boy? 15? !6? And how tall are you now? 5’?” I moved his hand for him. “No. I’m 18 and I’m not 5’, I’m 5’3.” That made all the other members laugh, except Ji Won. I looked at him curiously and realized he was checking me out. Oh no, I thought. Please don’t recognize me. Ji Won held up his hand for the others to stop laughing. “Hey, if he wants a chance, then we’ll give it to him.” Then he turned to face me. I felt my heart thumping loud and prayed he couldn’t hear it. He placed his hand on my shoulder. Dang, he smells good, I thought as I tried to suppress a smile. “Look kid,” said Ji Won to me. “You have to be jumped in to join. These 2 guys (pointing to Jae Jin and Jae Duc) will kick the crap out ofyou for 5 minutes. If you’restill standing, you’re in.” I nodded my head. I knew I had to last because I’m doing it all for Ji Won. I stood there as Jae Duc and Jae Jin began to hit me. Jae Jin threw the first punch and it gave me instant pain. He’s even stronger than my stepmom, I thought. Jae Duc kicked me and I was knocked to the ground but I kept pulling myself up. Ji Won looked at the helpless boy who was struggling to stand up. He doesn’t understand why but when he looks at the boy, images of Mina replaced him. Right now in his eyes, it looked like it was Mina being beaten up by Jae Jin and Jae Duc. He couldn’t help it. “Stay down!” he yelled to the boy. Everyone stared at Ji Won. Both Jae Jin and Jae Duc stopped hitting the boy because they were surprised Ji Won was being nice out of nowhere. I heard Ji Won yelling for me to stay down. My ears listened but my legs wouldn’t. I refused to stay down. No matter how many times they hit me or how hard, I managed to get up. Finally 5 minutes was over and I was still standing. “Am I in?” I asked in a weak voice. I saw Ji Won staring at me with a surprised expression. “Yes, you’re in.” he said patting my shoulder. I smiled and fainted into his arms. Ji Won held the boy, surprised. He realized the boy had fainted. Usually he would have let go if someone fainted on him, but this time he held on tight. The other 5 Kies members looked and the 2 new recruits looked at Ji Won with queeried eyes. “Uh, hyung,” said Sung Hoon, as he patted Ji Won on the shoulder. “What?” asked Ji Won, as he continued holding the boy. “What should we do about the new recruits?” “Give them instructions and show them to their rooms. We’ll have a meeting tomorrow.” “Okay.” They all left but once in a while, they all would glance back looking at Ji Won, who was carrying the boy in the other direction.
********** Part 22 **********
Slowly I began to regain my consciousness and I woke up. I looked around and realized I was in the biggest room in the Nam Hotel. The Presidential Suite. “What am I doing in here?” I asked myself. Then suddenly the chair in front of me spun around. Ji Won was sitting in it. I stared at him with wide eyes. I started to panic because I was all alone with him in the room. Ji Won gave me a sideways glance. “You okay?” he asked. I nodded my head. Ji Won got up out of his seat and walked towards me. He sat down on the bed next to me and looked at me straight in the eyes. “So what’s your name?” he asked. “Mi-“ I began but instantly cut myself off. ‘Stupid, I thought to myself. You almost said your real name!’ I saw Ji Won’s eyes grow wide. “What did you say your name was?” “Min-Sung,” I answered him quickly. “Oh,” he said and backed away from me. Ji Won stood up and walked towards the window, looking outside. He knew the new recruit was a boy but somewhere inside him wished MS would say his name was Mina. He let out a sigh. “There’s a meeting tomorrow. Be there okay?” I looked at Ji Won with his back facing me. It had only been 2 years but I felt as though I couldn’t read what was going on in his mind anymore. I let out a sigh myself. “Ji Won, where do we meet later tomorrow?” The call of his real name made Ji Won suddenly look up. He ran over to where Min Sung was sitting and grabbed him by his shoulders. “How do you know my real Korean name? No one knows me by that. Everyone calls me Matthew.” Oh no, I thought. I had completely forgotten that Ji Won had change his name to Matthew but I thought fast. “I didn’t know your name as Ji Won. All I said was, ‘Gee, wanna go out later tomorrow?’” I felt Ji Won’s grip on me loosen. He had bought the story. When he wasn't looking, I let out a sigh of relief. ‘I’m losing it,’ thought Ji Won. “We’ll meet in the main dining room tomorrow,” Ji Won told Min Sung. He nodded his head and left. Ji Won walked out to the balcony and looked up at the sky. “I love you Mina, that’s why it hurts so much that you’re not here.” But the real Mina had left before she could have heard those words.
********** PART 23 **********
Meanwhile back in the hotel lobby… After Sung Hoon and the others gave the new recruits instructions and about the meeting, they all went back to their rooms. “You think there’s something wrong with Matthew hyung?” asked Jae Jin. “Yeah,” said Jae Duc. “Did you see the way he held the new guy?” They began to shudder. “No, it’s nothing,” answered Sung Hoon. “You think maybe Matthew is gay?” asked Ji Yong. “You’re the one who looks gay,” said Jae Duc, jokingly. “Shut up!” yelled Ji Yong as he punched Jae Duc lightly. The others began to laugh. Then Su Won said, “Could be though. I never saw him ‘be’ with a girl before.” Sung Hoon lets out a sigh. “Okay, I’ll tell you guys the real deal. But don’t let this get back to Matthew okay?” They all nodded and leaned forward to hear the story. “It was like 5 years ago when Matthew hyung met this girl named Nam Mina….” “She a babe?” asked Jae Duc, interrupting. Sung Hoon gave him a look. “Yes, Duc-ee, she’s a babe.” “Oh, okay,” said Jae Duc. “Continue.” “Anyways, Matthew knew her before he met me. It turns out that she was the first person who ever really cared about him and Matthew fell in love with her. But you know how hyung is. He could never tell anyone exactly what’ s on his mind or how he feels. Instead of saying he wants Mina to be his girlfriend, he said he wants her to be his dongsang-“ “That’s stupid!” yelled Jae Duc, interrupting Sung Hoon. “Why he say that for? She’s a babe!” “Sh..!” yelled Jae Jin, Ji Yong, and Su Won at Jae Duc. Sung Hoon continued. “Well, Matthew ended up having this blood ceremony with her. They scarred each other’s back with their initial. It looks like a blood tie but later on I found out it was his symbol of promised love-“ “Ow..that must have hurt,” said Jae Duc, as he hugged himself. Jae Jin smacked him on the head for interrupting again. “I think they knew each other for a year before they met me. At first I thought Mina was cute, but then by the way Matthew acts, I can tell she was off limits. See, Mina had this heart condition where air would suddenly be closed off and she couldn’t breathe. The only way to get air in was by this respirator-“ “The one hyung always carry?” asked Jae Duc. “Yes Duc-ee,” said Sung Hoon, rolling his eyes. “Anyways, it was either that or mouth to mouth. Once when Matthew went collecting shells for Mina, I was walking along the shores with her. One of her attacks came on. I freaked out of course, but I knew what to do. I laid her down and I was about to give her CPR but then Matthew ran the speed of light and knocked me into the ocean and he gave her CPR.” The others started laughing. “Dang, ain’t he a Romeo?” said Jae Duc, laughing. Sung Hoon smiled. “It’s cause he loves Mina and didn’t want any other guy touching her. I mean, during school, if any guy talks about wanting to date her, Matthew made sure he didn’t. Oh yeah, Matthew hyung hasn’t always been Matthew. His real name is Ji Won. The ‘M’ scar on his back stands for Mina, not Matthew.” The others opened their mouths in shock. They never knew Ji Won had been this much in love before. “How romantic,” whispered Jae Duc. “Shut up hyung,” said Ji Yong. “Quit interrupting!” “Okay, okay,” said Jae Duc, blocking himself from Jae Jin’s hand. Sung Hoon began talking. “If there are no more interruptions, then I’ll continue.” He paused for a second and then continued. “The day before Matthew and I made it to Korea, he and Mina were supposed to get married. Matthew didn’t like his dad and there was this feud in their family on who gets the grandpa’s inheritance. Matthew got it, of course, and he took it all and left Hawaii. He took me and he was planning on taking Mina too. When he went to her house though, his uncle’s men were guarding the place and he couldn’t take her. He ended up leaving Hawaii without saying goodbye to Mina.” All of them remained silent. Then Su Won spoke. “Last year hyung sent me out to get some news on Nam Mina. She had died drowning.” Sung Hoon nodded. “Yeah but Matthew and I think she committed suicide. He think it’s because Mina can’t handle living with her stepmom, who always abuse her. If you ask me, I think Mina committed suicide because Matthew left her without any reason. I think hyung thinks that too but he won’t say it. I think he blames himself for her death and since then he hasn’t been the same. He used to be nicer and not this touchy. Also that’s why he’s never been with another girl. I mean, we see him flirt with other girls but none of us actually see him ‘be’ with another girl right?” The others nodded in agreement. Sung Hoon continued. “About this new boy today. I think Matthew is losing it. He probably thinks when he sees the boy he is see-“ Sung Hoon stopped talking as he looked up. He finished his sentence with a “-See you later!” and he ran off.
********** PART 24 **********
The others looked up surprised. Jae Jin smacked Jae Duc on his head. “What?” asked Jae Duc. “I didn’t interrupt!” “It’s not Duc-ee’s fault,” said Ji Yong. “Look.” Ji Yong pointed to where Sung Hoon ran off too. “Aigo,” said Jae Jin. “It’s that same waitress babe.” “See?” said Jae Duc. “It’s cause of a girl, not me. You hit me by mistake.” “No, it’s not a mistake. I still wanna smack your head cause it makes this cool hollow sound,” replied Jae Jin as he smacked Jae Duc on his head again. “So, wanna go out sometime?” Sung Hoon asked Kyung Hee, leaning near her. She rolled her eyes at him. She answered flatly, “No” and began to leave. Sung Hoon held onto her arm. “Come on babe. X-mas is next month and don’t be a scrooge.” Then suddenly, Kyung Hee gave him a seductive smile. “I guess. How about we go out on November 31 then?” Sung Hoon gave her a sexy smile back. “It’s a date then,” he answered, letting her go. The other 4 walked up to him. “How’d it go Mickey?” asked Su Won. “Hey, hey, what can I say?” answered Sung Hoon *bleep*ily. “I’m the man!” Jae Jin gave him a high-five. “Alright!” yelled Jae Duc. “When you 2 going out?” “November 31,” answered Sung Hoon. “Uh, Mickey,” said Ji Yong. “Sup Ji Yong?” said Sung Hoon. “November doesn’t have a 31st.” “What?” asked Sung Hoon surprised. He looked at the calendar. November ended on the 30th. He looked around but Kyung Hee had already left. He started cursing while the others tried to hold back their laughter.
November 23, 1998
“This meeting of SechsKies is now in session,” announced Ji Won to the main members of the group, along with the new recruits. His voice got their attention and they quickly focused their attention on Ji Won. Ji Won looked to see if Min Sung was there. He was. Ji Won gave a little smile to him. He didn’t know why but when he looks at Min Sung his mind would replace Min Sung’s face with Mina’s. “So any new business?” he asked the members. “Yes,” answered Jae Jin. “The Black Dragons have killed some of our members and took away some of our businesses.” “Damn it!” yelled Ji Won as he pounded his fist on the table. “We’ll just have to see that this Black Dragon matter will be solved. Mickey you, Ji Yong, Su Won, and the 2 new recruits deal with the businesses. Jae Jin, Jae Duc, and Min Sung will come with me.” Everyone looked at Ji Won strangely. Sung Hoon began to speak. “Uh, hyung. You want to take Min Sung along?” Ji Won glared at him. “Yeah. Anyone here have any objections?” No one answered. “Meeting adjourned,” announced Ji Won and everyone went to work.
********** PART 25 **********
I followed the Black Kies to a dark alley. I was surprised Ji Won wanted to take me along, considering I was one of the weakest members. I thought I would get to work with the White Kies in businesses. “Hey kid,” said Jae Duc to me. “What is it?” He handed me a gun. “Use this to protect yourself.” My eyes widened as I held the cold metal. Please don’t let me use it, I prayed silently. Ji Won walked over to Min Sung. “Okay, the coleaders of Black Dragons are meeting around here. You’ll recognize them by the dragon tattoos on their arms. If you see them, just shoot them as they come out.” “But Matthew hyung, I-“ but my words were cut off the sound of gunshots. POW “Get down!” yelled Ji Won as he covered me. Then he started firing. I covered my ears and watched Ji Won in disbelief. He had shot 4 people and killed 3. Ji Won stood up smiling. I couldn’t believe it. I was in love with a cold-blooded killer. Jae Jin and Jae Duc killed some other members and JW told them to kill every single Black Dragon member. One Black Dragon member laid hurt on the ground. Ji Won pulled him up by the collar of his shirt and pointed a gun to his head. “Tell me who’s your leader punk or else I’ll blow your brains out.” The young boy was whimpering. I felt sorry for him. “Please don’t kill me. My leader is Eun Tae Won.” “Who the hell is that?” asked Ji Won angrily. “What the hell does he have against me?” “He’s the godson of Mr. Eun, who’s one of the heirs of the Eun Hotel Empire and he came to get the inheritance back from you.” I listened to what the boy was saying. I never knew that Ji Won’s uncle had a god son. From what I had heard, JiWon’s uncle had passed away 2 months ago and he had a heir. The heir is the leader of Black Dragon, I figured out. “That bastard,” said Ji Won. “He’s dead and he still has someone after me.” When Ji Won wasn’t looking, the Black Dragon boy had pulled out a knife, ready to stab Ji Won. I didn’t have time to think so I reacted instantly. I shot the boy. He fell back in pain but managed to get up and run away. Ji Won looked at me surprised. He gave me a smile. “Good job, Min Sung,” he said walking over to me and patted me on the back. I was appalled at what I had done. I couldn’t answer him so I just handed him back the gun. Just then Jae Jin and Jae Duc came back to us. “Got them all hyung,” said Jae Jin smiling as he did fancy handwork with his gun. “Good,” said Ji Won. “Min Sung here just saved my life. I knew it was a good idea to bring him along.” “Really?” asked Jae Duc. “Nice work kid.” Then he punched me lightly on the shoulder. When we made it back to the hotel, I ran into my room using my respirator and swallowed a pill. Afterwards, I took a shower. I felt so dirty because what I had done. I knew this was going to be only one of the many dirty work I would have to do to stay with Ji Won.
********** PART 26 **********
A few months later…
During this time, since I saved Ji Won’s life, he began to trust me more and confided in me with everything. I was like his new best friend. SechsKies continued traveling to many places and recruited new members. More war between SechsKies and Black Dragons broke out. Many businesses were shut down and more members were killed from both sides. All the blood shed and fighting was getting to me but I held on. All the members of SechsKies accepted me but sometimes I overhear them whisper that I’m gay. I didn’t care as long as I had Ji Won.
April 30, 1999
Finally, after many days of hard work, SechsKies finally got a day of rest. The leaders always hang out together but Ji Won always included me. We were at this fancy restaurant and were all having a good time. Jae Duc was telling us funny jokes. He stopped in the middle of a joke as he saw the Black Dragon leaders enter the restaurant. Tension was felt by everyone. The Black Dragons sat down across from us. Ji Won and Tae Won were giving each other glares. Underneath the tables, we pulled out our guns. I knew the Black Dragons were doing the same. We didn’t know which side fired the first shot but before we knew it, bullets were flying everywhere. Ji Won covered me as we ran out of the restaurant safely. We met up with the other 5 Kies in a dark alley. The Black Dragons were still chasing us. “Damn it hyung! What should we do?” asked Jae Jin. “Kill them all!” shouted Ji Won. “There are too many,” Ji Yong shouted back. “Let’s just hide out in this motel.” We all ran and hid in this cheap motel’s restaurant. The Black Dragons lost us and continued searching. “I don’t believe this!” said Ji Won furiously. “I, Matthew Eun, of SechsKies have to hide down here in this *bleep*roach motel like I’m a dog or something!” “Calm down,” I said to him gently, patting his back. “It’s not so bad.” “Yeah hyung,” said Sung Hoon. “It’s only for one night. Besides, we’ll make them pay for this.” All of us looked around. There was only one bed. I could tell none of us wanted the floor because it was disgusting and reeked of something. “I ain’t taking the floor!” all of us shouted in unison. “There’s only one bed though,” said Su Won. “Look on the bright side,” said Jae Duc as he laid out the sheets on the bed. “At least it’s king size.” I nodded my head. “It’ll be tight but we’ll all have to try and fit in.” Soon it was Jae Jin, Jae Duc, Ji Won, me, Sung Hoon, Ji Yong, and Su Won laying down side by side uncomfortably on the bed. We werelaying down one by one and the others looked at me strangely as I ran to be the next person who laid near Ji Won. Soon everyone fell asleep except me. I made sure everyone was asleep before I made my move. I bent over to kiss Ji Won lightly on the lips. Then I laid my head down on his chest to hear his heart beat. I sighed contentedly. Then suddenly I felt Ji Won’s leg twitch. Oh no. I knew what he was about to do. His 360. I placed my entire body on top of his because I didn’t want to get kicked. As Ji Won did his 360, he kicked everyone except me off the bed. As always when Ji Won was done, he had a huge smile on his face. Then he held onto me tightly. I was overwhelmed with happiness. The others must have been exhausted because none of them woke up except Jae Duc. He opened his eyes sleepily and said, “Huh?” “You’re dreaming,” I whispered to him. He nodded his head and went back to sleep. Soon I drifted off to sleep too.
********** PART 27 **********
Next Morning…
May 1, 1999
Ji Won began to stir. He woke up finding Min Sung holding onto him tightly. Ji Won widened his eyes and gently unraveled Min Sung’s arms and legs off of him. The guys already called Min Sung gay and he didn’t want them to think he’s gay too. He sat up and saw 5 of the SechsKies leaders laying on the floor. Then Sung Hoon began to wake up. He sat up and looked around. “Gross! How the hell did I end up down here?” Ji Won shrugged his shoulders. Then Jae Duc woke up. “Damn, my butt hurts. It feels like someone kicked it last night.” Then one by one everyone woke up. “P.U.!,” yelled Jae Jin. “This floor stinks!” Everyone started laughing. “Sorry you guys,” said Ji Won laughing. “I must have done a 360 and kicked you all off.” “How come you didn’t fall off Min Sung?” asked Ji Yong. Uh, oh, I thought. “I did,” I answered him. “But I got back up and went to sleep on the bed again.” “Really?” asked Su Won. “I didn’t even know. I just went right on sleeping.” Ji Won began to study Min Sung. It was weird but somehow Ji Won had a feeling that Min Sung knew he does a 360 in his sleep. ‘But that’s impossible,’ he thought to himself. ‘Only Mina knows that and why didn’t Min Sung say anything about me kicking him?’ Ji Won didn’t know what was going on with Min Sung but he knew he had to find out. We all got up and ready to leave the room. The coast seemed clear so we walked out unarmed. Big mistake. There was a n ambush waiting for us. “Disperse!” yelled Ji Won and we all ran our separate ways. Black Dragons chased after each one of us. I lost the Black Dragon member that was chasing me but I didn’t want to go back the hotel room without Ji Won so I turned back to get him. When I found Ji Won, he was backed up against the wall by a Black Dragon. It was the leader, Tae Won. He was telling Ji Won to bow down and beg for mercy but Ji Won ended up spitting in his face. Tae Won got angry and pulled the knife back to stab Ji Won in his throat. I ran as fast as I could and knocked Tae Won down. He dropped the knife and fell to the floor with me. As he fell, he used the handled of the knife to knock Ji Won unconscious. Tae Won got up glaring at me. “Do you know who you’re messing with?” he asked me angrily. I glared at him back unflinching. “I’ll make you pay for hurting Ji Won.” “Oh you must be the gay SechsKies member I’ve heard so much about,” said Tae Won laughing. “You’re afraid your *bleep* leader would die leaving you alone?” That made me really angry. I didn’t care that he called me gay but calling Ji Won a *bleep* ticked me off. Since he was distracted, I grabbed the hand he was holding the sword with, and made him stab himself. He cried out in shock and pain. He pulled knife out of him. Tae Won pushed me away and cuts me in the knee with his knife. I fell down and saw him raise theknife above my head. I was going to die. Then suddenly a voice screamed out, “Gang Rape!” It made Tae Won run off. I looked over to see who it was. It was Kyung Hee screaming for the cops. I saw her looking at me sighing and walked away. “Kyung Hee!” I screamed for her. Kyung Hee looked at me strangely as she approached me. “Do I know you?” I nodded my head and motioned for her to come near me. When she did, I whispered in her ear, “It’s me, Mina.” “Mina? But you’re a guy!” she yelled back at me. “Look at me closely.” When she did, her eyes widened as she grabbed a hold of me. “Mina, it is you!” I turned her back to face me. “Please help me bring Ji Won back to the hotel.” Kyung Hee made a face of disgust. “What are you doing with the SechsKies leader and why are you dressed like a guy?” “I’ll explain later,” I told her. We both put Ji Won’s arms around us as we carried him back. Along the way we found Sung Hoon unconscious on the ground, bleeding. I set Ji Won down gently and lifted Sung Hoon up. “Sung Hoon!” I said, shaking him. He was hurt badly. “Kyung Hee, please do me a favor. You carry Sung Hoon while I carry Ji Won.” Kyung Hee looked at me reluctantly but then nodded. I lifted Ji Won onto my back and carried him back to the Nam Hotel. My leg was still bleeding from the cut and I was limping. “Mina, can you carry him?” Kyung Hee asked me, concerned. “I’ll be fine,” I answered her as we made it back.
********** PART 28 **********
I took Ji Won back to his room while Kyung Hee took Sung Hoon back to his. I washed Ji Won’s cuts and nursed his wounds. When he was bandaged, I sat down on the chair next to his bed. Then suddenly, I couldn’t breathe. One of my attacks is coming on and I didn’t have my respirator with me. My heart was aching so painfully that I was gasping in pain. But then I remembered Ji Won had a respirator. I searched his pockets and sure enough, there it was. I started pumping it quickly and air entered my lungs. My vision cleared and I began to breathe easier. Then I put it back into his pocket. My touch made Ji Won stir. He began to wake up. He looked at me. “Min Sung?” he asked weakly. I nodded my head. “Yes, it’s me hyung.” Ji Won lifted himself up. “Where am I?” “We’re back at our hotel.” “Oh,” Ji Won said as he looked at my leg. “What happened to your knee?” I looked down at it. It was bleeding through my pants. “It’s nothing hyung. I’ll be okay in a few days.” “Did Tae Won do this to you?” I nodded my head. Ji Won pounded his fist on his desk. “Damn him! I’ll get him back.” “It’s okay hyung,” I said calming him down. “By the way,” he asked me suddenly, “how did you end up finding me? Weren’t you supposed to come back here by yourself?” His question hit me by surprise. I answered him truthfully. “I came back to look for you because I was worried you might be in danger.” I saw Ji Won look at me awkwardly and inched himself away from me. He thinks I’m gay, I thought. “Uh, thanks for coming back to save me then,” Ji Won said to Min Sung awkwardly. Min Sung nodded and left his room. Ji Won lets out a sigh. He loved Min Sung as a friend and definitely nothing more. He didn’t want Min Sung to have any thoughts. Instinctively Ji Won reached into his pocket to check to see if his respirator was still there. It was but it was different. Ji Won stared at it with wide eyes. His once filled respirator was now only half full with air. Someone had been using it.
********** PART 29 **********
Later that evening Ji Won posted a note on my door telling me to meet him. It was 8 p.m. and I knocked the door to his room. “Come in,” said Ji Won. I entered his room, not knowing what he was going to say. “Follow me,” he ordered. He left the room and I followed him. He took me to the beach that was near our hotel. Then he walked over to a spot where there were two rocks side by side. I caught my breath. This looks exactly like our spot in Hawaii, I thought. “Come here and sit next to me, Min Sung,” said Ji Won to me, patting the rock next to him. I sat down near him and closed my eyes as I breathed in the salty sea air. Ji Won began to study Min Sung. ‘He looks like Mina in a way,’ he thought. ‘Could he be Mina in another form?’ Ji Won didn’t believe in reincarnation but Min Sung was too much like Mina for him. He wanted to see if somehow Min Sung was Mina so he had to test him. “Min Sung, you want to hear a story?” “Sure,” said Min Sung eagerly. Ji Won smiled as he told his story. “There once was this rich boy who came from a messed up family. He had no friends at all. Then one day he met this little girl who became his friend. She was really nice to him, unlike his family, so he began to adopt her as his dongsang.” Ji Won paused right there to see Min Sung’s reaction. My smile faded when Ji Won began his story. He was talking about our life in Hawaii. Then I figured out he was testing me. The respirator, I thought. I must have drained it when I was using it so now he suspects me. I steadied myself and tried my best to give no reaction. Ji Won stared at Min Sung, who appeared to have no reaction to the story. “Well what do you think?” Ji Won asked him. “That’s a cute story, hyung,” he said, shrugging his shoulders. Ji Won continued. “Do you know why he took extra care of his dongsang?” Min Sung shook his head no. “It’s because she has this heart problem and needed this respirator to breathe.” He took out the respirator from his pocket and showed it to Min Sung. Again no reaction. “Poor girl,” said Min Sung. “Yes, poor girl,” said Ji Won sadly. “She died a few years later.” I looked at Ji Won sadly. I knew Ji Won felt bad because of my death but since I’m no one special to him, it wouldn’t matter if he knew the truth that Mina was still alive and with him right now. Then Ji Won took out a stone and handed me one. I rubbed the white marble stone for a while. “Throw it,” he told me. I shook my head no. To me it was like a present so I didn’t throw it but just kept it in my pocket. Ji Won threw his into the ocean. It skipped 3 times. “Perfect,” he said. “Why is it perfect?” I asked him. This time I wished he would tell me the significance of the 3-skip. “When the stone skips 3 times, it means 3 words. I love you.” I looked at Ji Won in an overwhelming joy. Did Ji Won love me? He had thrown the rock and it skipped 3 times many times before. “So did the rich boy ever really loved his dongsang?” I asked Ji Won. Ji Won looked at me. “Of course he does. He has a lot of brotherly love for her.” “Oh,” I whispered softly. My heart began to ache. As Ji Won continued staring at the ocean, I began to walk home with a heavy heart. Ji Won began to shake his head. ‘Mina’s dead already so why am I denying that I love her?’ he thought to himself as he stared out to the ocean. “Actually, Min Sung, the rich boy loved his dongsang the first day he met her but he’s such a weak person. He never could admit his feelings for her and just waited for her to say that she loves him first.” Ji Won turned around and saw that Min Sung had left. ‘Oh well,’ he thought as he headed back to the hotel.
********** PART 30 ***********
Since some of you wanted to hear more about Sung Hoon and Kyung Hee, this chapter is a little side story. Sung Hoon woke up aching. He realized he was back at the Nam Hotel and in his room. “How did I make it back here?” he asked himself. Then he realized he was wearing nothing but his boxers. His bathroom door suddenly opened and out came Kyung Hee. “Hey!” he shouted as he pulled a blanket over to cover himself. Kyung Hee rolled her eyes. “It’s too late for that. I’ve seen it all already,” she told him as she yanked the blanket away. Sung Hoon crossed his arms over his chest. “So you took advantage of me in my weak state?” “So what if I did?” she snapped at him. “That means you have to marry me and support me while I give birth to your child.” Kyung Hee could’t help but laugh. Sung Hoon smiled at her. ‘I guess he isn’t so bad,’ she thought. “You know,” said Sung Hoon quietly. “You didn’t have to diss me like that when you said you’ll go out with me.” Kyung Hee looked at him. “I had to! You were such an arrogant jerk and you wouldn’t leave me alone.” “Maybe it’s because I like you too much to leave you alone,” he replied back. Kyung Hee blushed a little and decided to change the subject. “Give me your arm,” she said to him. Sung Hoon’s right arm was bleeding and Kyung Hee began to wash the cut. “Ow!” he yelled in pain, pulling his arm back. “That hurts.” “Does it?” Kyung Hee asked him, concerned. “I’m sorry.” She leaned over to blow on his cut. Sung Hoon stared at her the entire time. He felt warm and shy being around her. He never felt this way for a girl before. She was nice to him and not dissing him like she usually does. He really liked that feeling. Kyung Hee gently placed his arm into a cast. “There,” she said. “All better.” “You know,” said Sung Hoon softly. “Everyone says kisses make boo-boos feel better and go away.” When Kyung Hee was nursing Sung Hoon, she developed a liking for him and his nice body was a good addition. “Really?” she asked skeptically. “I don’t believe you.” “Why don’t you test it out then?” he challenged her smiling. “Maybe I will,” she said, flirting back. “Where does it hurt?” Sung Hoon pointed to his knee. Kyung Hee kissed it. Then he pointed to his hand. She kissed it too. Slowly he pointed to his forehead, which she also kissed. He worked his way down to his nose. Kyung Hee couldn’t help but laugh as she kissed his nose lightly. Sung Hoon’s nose was broken. Then he pointed to his lips. Kyung Hee was about to kiss it lightly but then Sung Hoon held onto her tightly to deepen the kiss. Kyung Hee felt drawn to him so she didn’t push him away. He turned her over so she laid down on his bed, with him on top of her. His hand went under the back of her shirt and he stopped there. Kyung Hee continued kissing him and ran her fingers through his hair. Since she wasn’t stopping him, he was about to continue when… *knock knock* ‘I’m going to kill that person,’ thought Sung Hoon as he broke off the kiss. “Yeah? What is it?” he yelled. “Matthew wants all of us to go down to the dining room for a meeting,” said Ji Yong. “Okay, I’ll be there in 5 minutes!” Sung Hoon yelled back. When he heard footsteps of Ji Yong leaving, he kissed Kyung Hee once more. “Sorry honey, I have to go but I’ll be right back.” Kyung Hee nodded and helped him into his clothes.
********** PART 31 **********
“Order SechsKies!” yelled Ji Won. “Ooh, ooh,” said Jae Duc. “I want some kimbab!” Ji Won glared at him. Jae Duc shuts up. “Now I want to talk to all of you about Min Sung. He’s only been here for a few months but he had saved my life twice and not to mention, Sung Hoon’s.” Sung Hoon slapped Min Sung on the back and smiled. “Now,” continued Ji Won. “What do you want Min Sung? A car, money, women? Tell us and it’s yours.” “Yeah,” said Sung Hoon. “Just name it buddy and it’s yours.” I thought about it for a while. The only thing I wanted was Ji Won but I couldn’t say that. Since he was suspecting me so much there was only one thing I should ask for. “I want a woman,” I told them. They all opened their mouths in shock. “Alright Min Sung, you dog!” yelled Sung Hoon, breaking the silence. “At least you’re proving to us that you’re a man now!” “Okay,” said Ji Won slowly. “Who’s the girl?” “So Kyung Hee,” I announced. I saw Sung Hoon’s smiling face turn mad. “Who do you want?” Sung Hoon asked me in disbelief. I repeated myself. “So Kyung Hee.” Sung Hoon grabbed me by the collar of my shirt. “Out of all the girls you could have picked, why her?” he yelled at me. I knew Sung Hoon liked Kyung Hee but Kyung Hee was the only person that could help me. “I happen to like her too,” I answered him. “Besides, you all said I can have anything I want, and I want Kyung Hee.” “He’s right,” said Ji Won softly. “We can’t go back on our words.” Ji Won clapped his hands for attention. “So Kyung Hee now belongs to Ahn Min Sung. Anyone from SechsKies who touches her, the penalty is death.” Su Won and Ji Yong had to hold Sung Hoon back from attacking me. “I thought you were my friend!” he yelled as they took him away. I sighed and headed for my room. Ji Won looked at Min Sung as he was walking away. “Min Sung.” “Yes hyung?” “Are you sure that’s what you want?” “Yes hyung. I’ve never been more sure in my life.” Then Min Sung left. When I made it back into my room, Kyung Hee was in there waiting for me. “What the hell is going on?” she asked me. I knew it was time to tell her my story. When I finished, she was bawling like a baby. I handed her a tissue. “Th..that is s..so..romantic,” Kyung Hee said, sobbing. I patted her head as she leaned on me. “No, it’s not.” “So you’re not going to tell Ji Won who you really are?” I shook my head. “It wouldn’t matter anyways.” “How do you know? If he knows you’re still alive, who knows? He might fall in love with you.” “Maybe,” I began slowly. “But then he’d love me out of pity and not out of love. I don’t want that.” “Oh.” Kyung Hee stared at the floor. “I wonder if Mickey really likes me.” “What?!” I asked in surprise. She looked at me sheepishly. “Oh, I forgot to tell you that Mickey and I are beginning to fall for each other.” “Why didn’t you tell me?” “I didn’t have a chance to. Besides, it just happened.” “I’m sorry Kyung Hee.” “It’s okay,” she said as she hugged me. “We’ll just have to put our little romance on hold for a while. You’re more important.” “No, I’ll go tell-“ My words were cut off by my lack of air. This time my attack was worser than it ever had been before. Kyung Hee stared at me frightened. “Mina! What’s happening?” “C..can’t breathe…” I managed to say. She lifted me up. “Come on, I’ll take you to the hospital.” “Don’t let the others see me,” I said to her before I collapsed into total darkness.
********** PART 32 **********
Slowly I began to open my eyes. I closed them instantly because the light reflecting me was so bright. Am I on the other side? I wondered. I managed to squint my eyes open. I found myself strapped to a pulse racer machine and an IV fluid was hooked up to me. I started to look around my room. I was in a hospital and I saw that my door was open slightly ajar. Then I heard 2 voices talking and I began to eavesdrop. “It’s a miracle that she’s still alive,” said the doctor. “Is she going to be okay?” Kyung Hee asked him. “Well, according to these test results, her heart will expire any time now. We need to get her a heart transplant soon because she’s past overdue for 2 years already. I made some calls and there is a matching donor for her in England.” “I’ll have to talk to her about it.” “Please do,” said the doctor. “It’s her only hope of living.” Kyung Hee slowly entered my room. She stared at me with wide eyes. “You heard everything Mina?” I nodded my head weakly and took the air respirator off my mouth. “You can tell him to forget about it. I’m not going to England for a couple of months to get surgery.” Kyung Hee ran over and shook me. “Mina, are you crazy? You have to or you’ll die.” “No,” I told her stubbornly. “It was so hard for me to find Ji Won and I won’t let go of him just like that.” Kyung Hee began to cry. “I don’t want you to die though.” I looked at her sadly. “You’re a good friend Kyung Hee. I know you’ll be the perfect girl for Sung Hoon.” I yanked the IV tube off my arm. “Come on. Let’s go home.”
A little over a month later…
My heart condition began to grow worse. My attacks became more frequently and undetected. It would happen during odd times like when I’m showering or having dinner with the SechsKies guys. Luckily Kyung Hee was always there by my side to cover for me. Sung Hoon hated me. I can tell by the way he acts. He probably thinks that Kyung Hee really likes Ahn Min Sung (that’s me). What he doesn’t know is Kyung Hee truly does love him and it breaks her heart seeing him go out with other girls. I think he’s doing that to make her jealous. As for Ji Won, he began to grow distant towards me. He wouldn’t talk to me much and he’s been depressed about something lately. I wish I could know what was bothering him because it hurts me to see him sad like that. Secrets are definitely hard to keep. Especially ones that you have to cover everyday. I should have known that my disguise and heart attacks would be exposed soon but it just came to me unexpectedly…
********** PART 33 **********
June 15, 1999
Ji Won was in his depressed state again. There was this empty void inside him that he couldn’t erase. It was a recurring pain that never seemed to end. He felt lonely. Whenever he sees Min Sung and Kyung Hee together, it disturbs him. He could’t figure out what it was but he kept finding something wrong with the picture. Then a knock came on his door. “Come in,” he said, without bothering to see who it was. I entered Ji Won’s room holding a tray of food. Now these days since he was in his isolated stage, he didn’t eat much anymore. I was beginning to worry. I didn’t have much time left with him so I wanted to take care of him the best I could with the time I still had left. “Hyung? Are you hungry? I brought you some food.” Ji Won turned around to see who it was. It was Min Sung. “Just put it down.” Min Sung placed it down before Ji Won. Ramyun, mee-yuk-gook, rice, and curry. ‘How does he know I like these food?’ Ji Won thought. “Take it away I don’t want it.” “But hyung, you haven’t ate for days. Please eat a little bit.” “I said take it away!” Ji Won yelled, his anger exploding. He knocked over the tray of food. It ended up spilling all over Min Sung. Ji Won and Min Sung stared at each other. Neither of them knew what to say. Min Sung leaned over to clean up the spilled food and then left. Ji Won fell back in his chair. He ran his hands through his hair frustrated. Min Sung was too much like Mina that it was driving him crazy. Ji Won knew he was out of line though, so he began to walk to Min Sung’s room to apologize. What a mess, I thought as I stripped out of my clothes. I soaked myself into a hot water bath, hoping it could wash away all my troubles. When I was done with my bath, I wrapped myself up in a towel and got out of the tub. Then I heard my room door open and then close. Must be Kyung Hee, I thought as I began to put my clothes on. Ji Won entered Min Sung’s room, not knowing what to say. He wasn’t good at apologizing. He looked around and didn’t see Min Sung anywhere. Then he heard the sound of water draining. He figured Min Sung must be in the bathroom. Ji Won opened the door slightly and saw Min Sung’s bare back. He shuts the door quietly and began to leave. He planned to apologize later but then his mind began to sort out what he had just saw. Min Sung’s back had an ‘E’ on it. Ji Won breaks the open the door to the bathroom. I was buttoning up my long sleeve shirt when my door suddenly opened. I stared at Ji Won in shock but then remembered I wasn’t completely dressed yet. I buttoned up the remaining buttons and then faced him. “Hyung!” I said surprised. “What are you doing here?” I caught Ji Won looking down at my shirt. I had buttoned it all wrong and a great deal of my body was showing. Oh hell, I thought. “Hyung, I can explain-“ I began to tell him but I never had a chance to. Ji Won stared at Min Sung’s exposed body. Without thinking, he ripped open Min Sung’s shirt finding that Min Sung was indeed a woman. Min Sung stood still, stunned at what Ji Won had just did. He turned Min Sung’s back to him. There it was. His ‘E.’ “M...Mina?” he asked uncertainly, afraid to hope. I didn’t know what I was more embarrassed from. Letting Ji Won see me exposed or being caught. In all my life I had never been angry at Ji Won but I didn’t know why I reacted impulsively. As I held my shirt together, I slapped Ji Won across the face hard with my other hand. His head snapped to the side. He held his cheeks as he turned to face me. “How could you do this to me Ji Won?” I asked him screaming. “Get out! Get out!” I started to push him out the door. Ji Won was in shock. Mina, he thought. He grabbed her arms as she pushed him out. “Mina, don’t! Is it really you?” I glared at him. As if he knew, Ji Won took off his jacket and puts it around my shoulders. I zipped it up, covering myself. “Yes Ji Won, it is me Mina.” “But I thought you were dead.” “I didn’t die. I faked my death.” “Why?” “So I could go to Korea.” “You came all the way from Hawaii to find me? Why didn’t you just tell me who you are?” Ji Won looked at Mina, who had tears coming out of her eyes. He was about to brush them off for her but then Mina pushed his hand away. “That’s the only way I could do to be with you. Join SechsKies.” Ji Won stared at Mina as she continued talking. “After you left me all alone in Hawaii, my life became so miserable. Not because of my stepmom, but because of you. I finally found a way to leave Hawaii to find you. I was so happy when I thought about how I could see you again. I thought-“ Ji Won began to feel a rush of mixed emotions. Mina’s words made him sad but seeing her alive in front of him, made him want to hold onto her and never let her go. He paused to let her continue. "-I thought that we could be together like we were….oppa and dongsang in Hawaii. But obviously, I was wrong. You had all those girls around you that you’ve completely forgotten about me.” Ji Won felt his heart shatter into a million pieces. Each one of Mina’s words stabbed him like a knife. “Mina, you don’t understand. I-“ Mina didn’t wait for his explanation and ran. Ji Won chased after her. “Mina!” he yelled as he chased her out of the hotel. “Hyung,” said Su Won as he saw Ji Won ran by him. Ji Won pushed him out of the way. Kyung Hee ran up the 5 Kies. “What happened?” Su Won shrugged his shoulders. “I don’t know. Ji Won was chasing Min Sung and kept screaming Mina.” Kyung Hee stumbled back and Sung Hoon caught her. ‘Oh no, poor Mina,’ she thought. She turned around to see Sung Hoon looking at her sadly. Kyung Hee moved close to him and held onto him tight. Neither one of them lets go.
********** PART 34 **********
June 16, 1999
It was 3 a.m. and Ji Won had lost Mina. As he chased her down the streets he lost track of where she ran off to. “Mina!” he continued shouting. His cries echoed throughout the streets. A lot of people heard him yelling. So did the Black Dragons. Tae Won silently crept behind Ji Won. Ji Won was all alone. Tae Won gave an evil smile. He had a plan. He and his sidekick began to set up a trap for Ji Won, which they knew he would fall for. “Mina!” I covered my ears. I didn’t want to hear Ji Won’s voice. I was so confused. All I ever wanted was to be with Ji Won but now it’s all complicated. I leaned back against the alley wall. I needed time to think. Ji Won ran through the alleys as he continued searching for Mina. Then he ran into Tae Won. Out of the darkness, Tae Won stepped out. “Looking for someone?” he asked. “Yeah,” said Ji Won, glaring at him. “I’m looking for Min Sung.” “The punk that stabbed me?” Tae Won asked furiously. “Yeah.” “I got him.” “You do?” Ji Won asked surprised. “Hand him over!” “There he is,” said Tae Won, pointing to a figure up ahead. From the back it did look like Min Sung but little did Ji Won know that it was all a setup. “Mina?” Ji Won whispered as he approached the person. It was a Black Dragon member. He grabbed a hold of Ji Won around the neck and began shooting Ji Won continually in the stomach. I looked out from where I was hiding when I heard gunshots. “Ji Won!” I screamed as I ran out from where I hid. My scream threw the Black Dragon member off guard. Seeing his chance, Ji Won grabbed the gun from him and shot him in the head. He fell to the floor dead. Tae Won started to run away but Ji Won aimed a shot directly at his heart. Tae Won fell down dead too. Ji Won looked at me and then collapsed to the cold ground. He wasn’t able to hold on any longer. Rain began to pour. “Ji Won!” I screamed, shaking him. He was still breathing but barely. I lifted Ji Won up on my back and carried him to a nearby hospital. The rain drenched us and it grew hard for me to carry him because of the weight. However, I managed to make it. They rushed him into the emergency room. Four hours later the doctor came out. “How is he?” I asked as I ran up to him. “He was shot 4 times in the stomach region. As you know, a person needs at least one kidney to survive but both of his are destroyed. Unless we can find a donor, he’ll have to die.” “Give him mine,” I told the doctor right away. “Are you sure?” I nodded my head. “Because of your heart condition, if we have this operation that means you can die instantly during the transfer.” I nodded my head again. “I understand. Please let’s have the operation now.” They tested me and luckily I was compatible with Ji Won. Six hours later the surgery was completed. It’s a miracle that I’m still alive. I knew not for long though. I woke up finding myself in a hospital bed with Ji Won on a bed next to me. He was still in a coma. I got out of bed and went near him. I stroked his hair gently as I bent down to kiss him. “I love you Ji Won,” I whispered to him. Then I left the room, going to the last place I wanted to be.
********** PART 35 **********
Ji Won began to wake up. He looked around and realized he was in a hospital room. Slowly his door began to open and the rest of SechsKies entered his room. “Hyung?” asked Sung Hoon. “Are you okay?” Ji Won nodded his head weakly as he pulled himself up. “I’m okay now.” Jae Jin walked over to his bedside. “We’re so sorry Matthew hyung. We didn’t know what happened until this morning. We got revenge for you though when we wiped out the entire Black Dragon hideout.” “It’s okay,” he told them softly as they all bowed down. Then a knock came to his door. The doctor came in. “Oh good, you’re awake,” he said. Ji Won looked at him. “Thanks for saving me Doc.” “No need to thank me. Your girlfriend is the one who saved your life.” Ji Won began to panic. “What did she do?” “She could have gotten a chance to go to England to get a heart transplant but she decided to stay to give you her kidney instead.” “The girl…where is she?” he asked frantically. The doctor looked around the room. “She was supposed to be in here-“ Ji Won got out of bed and ran out of the room, leaving everyone staring after him. “Hyung!” all the 5 Kies shouted but Ji Won had already left. He ran searching for Mina. He knew where she went.
********** Part 36 **********
June 17, 1999
Please let Ji Won be okay, I prayed to myself silently. Hopefully my prayers will be answered. So is this the end? My heart never changed because it was still the same one I loved Ji Won with. I couldn’t bear the thought of trading it with someone else. I was so confused. Had I finished what I had really come for? What will happen to my love for Ji Won? I didn’t know these answers. I felt weaker and my pen fell from my fingers. I stopped my story right there. Truth is, I didn’t know how to end it so I might as well leave it unfinished. I took off my cap and clothes. I was wearing a long white flowing dress underneath. It was the kind I always wanted to wear when I thought I was going to marry Ji Won. My hair had grew out a little bit. It grazed my chin. I started to put on some light make up and combed my hair. I don’t know why I’m getting dressed up for but I knew I wanted to die looking like Nam Mina, and not Ahn Min Sung. I looked at my reflection again. At least I look like a girl now, I thought with a little laugh. When I was done, I leaned against the hard rock and wrapped my arms around it, pretending it was Ji Won. Then I heard a voice yelling out my name. “Mina!” I recognized the voice. Ji Won. I smiled, knowing at least he’ll be the last person I’ll see before I go. Ji Won looked around the beach and saw a figure in a white dress. ‘Mina,’ he thought as he ran towards her. It was Mina. He lifted her into his arms and onto his lap as he sat down on the rocks. ‘Mina,’ he whispered to her and kissed her on the neck and face. Tears began to fall down his face. All of my energy seemed to have been drained as I forced myself to open my eyes. My face felt wet but it wasn’t from my tears and it wasn’t raining either. My vision was kind of blurred and I couldn’t see Ji Won too well. I reached up to touch his face. It was wet. “Ji Won,” I whispered to him. “Please don’t cry. You’re scaring me. I’ve never seen you cry before.” Ji Won looked down at Mina, through his tear-filled eyes. “I’m so sorry Mina.” “Don’t say you’re sorry,” she whispered back to him. “You’ve done nothing wrong.” Ji Won shook his head. “I’m so sorry. You’ve done so much for me and I haven’t even realized it. I haven’t done anything for you except put you through a lot of pain.” I reached up wipe away Ji Won’s tears. “I didn’t expect anything back from you oppa. But I want to know why did you leave me in Hawaii? I could have called the wedding off if you didn’t want to marry me.” I felt Ji Won’s grip on me tighten. “I didn’t mean to leave you Mina,” answered Ji Won, his voice shaking. “I couldn’t take my dad anymore. My grandpa had given me his inheritanceand I planned on taking you and Sung Hoon with me. I didn’t tell you about it because I was afraid you wouldn’t leave your family for me. When I came to your house to get you, my uncle’s men were there waiting for me and chased me to the docks. I escaped but I wanted to go back but couldn’t. I could have put your life in danger. This isn’t the first time I’ve cried Mina. I cried when I knew I was going to be separated from you.” Despite the pain, I managed to smile. Ji Won didn’t want to leave me, I thought. “Look Ji Wonee, I’m wearing the dress I always wanted to wear if we had gotten married.” Ji Won looked at me. “You’re beautiful Mina,” he said to me. “If everything would have gone as planned, we could have been married here in Korea.” One thing was still bothering me. I think I managed to hold onto my life this long because of this question. “Ji Wonee, do you love me? I mean romantically, and not as your dongsang.” Ji Won looked down at Mina. She was beautiful. His heart ached when he saw how pale she was. He realized she never did knew that he had loved her all along. “Yes, Mina,” he told her. “I loved you since the first day we met. I loved you then and I had never stopped loving you.” He bent down to kiss her. My heart was deepened to a warm bliss. Ji Won said he loved me, I told myself as I felt him kiss me. Then a cold realization washed over me but I didn’t really care. I always thought that I was hurt when I didn’t receive Ji Won’s love. Instead, I found out my pain came from when I didn’t give Ji Won enough love. I haven’t told Ji Won I loved him yet. “Ji Won,” I said to him as he looked down at me. “Thank you for making my dream come true by saying that you love me. I know you’re lying and just saying it to repay me but you didn’t have to. I did it all because I-I-“ I was losing my voice. Not now, please, I prayed as tears fell down my face. I need to tell him before I go. I reached into my pocketand pulled out the white marble stone Ji Won had given to me when I was Min Sung. I pointed towards the ocean to make Ji Won look. I threw the stone with all my remaining strength. It skipped 3 times. ‘Perfect,’ I thought as I closed my eyes for the last time. As Ji Won listened to what Mina was saying, he was stunned still. He couldn’t believe his ears. She thought he was saying he loved her as payment of what she had done for him. More tears fell down his face as he shook his head. Then when Mina pointed out to the ocean, Ji Won saw her throw the stone he had given her. It skipped 3 times. I love you. Ji Won smiled, knowing that Mina loved him too. He had known that she had loved him all along but she never told it to him either. “Mina, you don’t understand. I do love you!” he shouted. Then Ji Won looked down at her. She had passed on. “Mina?” He shook her gently. Her body was still and completely lifeless. “Mina!” he screamed in pain. He held onto her tightly, burying his face into her neck. He was crying so loudly and painfully that both their bodies shook. Sung Hoon and the others finally made it to where Ji Won and Mina was. They circled Ji Won, who was bent over holding someone they couldn’t see. “Hyung,” said Sung Hoon as he put his hand on Ji Won’s shoulder. “Are you okay? Where’s Min Sung?” Ji Won lifted his head up and Sung Hoon saw who Ji Won was holding. He fell back into the sand shocked. “M…Mina?” he asked in disbelief. “Mina?” the others repeated. “Min Sung is Mina?” asked Ji Yong. Ji Won nodded his head. “She dressed up as a guy to join SechsKies to be with me.” “You’re right, Mickey. Mina did love Matthew hyung,” said Jae Duc quietly. Sung Hoon got up and hugged both Ji Won’s and Mina’s bodies tightly. “Why?” he asked crying. Everyone remained silent. Ji Won shook his head. He moved away from Sung Hoon and turned to face all of them. “SechsKies is my family. You guys are all like my brothers. Please be my witness as I make this promise to Mina.” They nodded their heads sadly and listened. “Mina,” Ji Won began. “When you were alive, I was never able to tell you that I loved you. Now that you’re gone, you don’t believe I love you. Even though I never showed you the kind of love you wanted me to, it doesn’t mean I didn’t love you with all I have.” Ji Won paused and yanked off the ring around his necklace. “With SechsKies here as my witnesses, I, Eun Ji Won, take Nam Mina as my wife ‘til eternity. I have nothing to give you Mina except my heart, which belonged to you from the first day we met.” He kissed her lips as he slipped on the ring. The others watched him in silence. They were surprised when because of all the time Ji Won had been their leader, he had never used his real name Ji Won before. They knew he was serious. When it was over, Ji Won lifted Mina up into his arms as he stood up. “As your leader, I have a final announcement to make. I am quitting SechsKies.” “What?” they all asked in disbelief. “Hyung,” said Su Won. “Please reconsider.” Ji Won shook his head. “This is the second time Mina left me. I really can’t go on as your leader. The person I loved the most is taken away from me too soon and she died not knowing that I truly do love her.” The others understood what Ji Won meant. Jae Jin walked up to Ji Won. “What do you plan to do then Matthew?” “I don’t know,” he answered. I’ll be somewhere where I’ll always be with Mina and constantly remind her that I love her. And as for SechsKies, with all the money and businesses we have, I don’t see any reason why we have to commit any more crimes. We each have enough money to spend for the rest of our lives already.” They all nodded. Ji Won placed a hand on Sung Hoon’s shoulder. “Sung Hoon,” said Ji Won. “Yes hyung?” asked Sung Hoon. “If you do love Kyung Hee, tell her before it’s too late.” Sung Hoon nodded. “I will.” Ji Won looked at his 5 brothers for the last time. “This final meeting of SechsKies is now adjourned. I wish you all the best and hope you do find your true love because I have. Good bye.” Ji Won picked up Mina’s book and scribbled something into it. When he was done, he placed it down back on the rock. Then Ji Won lifted Mina’s body up into his arms as he walked away. “Hyung!” shouted Sung Hoon. “Where are you going?” Ji Won continued walking and didn’t answer him. The 5 Kies watched their leader walk towards the sunset carrying his bride and disappeared. They picked up the book to see what Ji Won had written. The last entry of Mina's story was, “True love never has an ending.”

2008-02-05T19:21:00.000+08:00

why did i feel a gust of wind?

today.. hilarious. mr prem scolded a bunch of people for misusing the forums. the thread was: do you think standing up and sitting again and again is necessary?

and inside, people venting their anger and talked overboard. ridiculous batch of people.

ahaha in any case, its all past issues. and now, all we have to look out for, is RED PACKETS! XD

HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR ALL!!

oh, so it was only you.. helpless and hopeless, i stand by.
i was wrong after all.. looking back, i guess i was pretty shy.

2008-01-23T19:37:00.000+08:00

zack: sighzzz i'm getting some multiple personalities coming in..
cat: glad you know.
zack: there it goes again..
dog: hi all. i'm new here. please show me the ropes!
zack: man.. do they ever stop?
cat + dog: apparently no.
zack: ...
cat: meow~
dog: woof~
zack: sigh~

2008-01-19T14:00:00.000+08:00

don't say i'm evil. i'll update. a short post. mayhap shorter than the previous 1.

let me share good things with you all readers. =)

wah laa~~ *magic*

just look at them.. AREN'T THEY CUTE?! ^^ are you feeling the temptation to just run over to them and hug them? ^^

oh er.. i won't show you my specs =)

ok i guess thats it lol. so short a post.

2008-01-07T16:56:00.000+08:00

okay.. school reopened. start wearing long pants to school. first day wearing to school felt like wearing pyjamas-.- but very comfortable. lol. oo and i got a new specs. plastic. go imagine it yourself, i dont' think i will show you now. lol. ok la just a random update. byezz

2007-12-27T18:57:00.000+08:00

wow. played Final Fantasy Tactics: War of the Lions.

their english.. wonderful. shakespeare. lol.

i'll quote a number of sentences.. its so cool!! at least i think that way.

My luck turns foul with the weather.

What hope does your fool revolution hold?

Dreams do not fill a man's stomach or make soft the packed earth on which he beds!

You see naught beyond the end of your own nose.

I will not bear your ribald tongue. Learn to guard it, if you'd not have it cut from your throat.

We fight to end the aristocracy, not to become it!

Silence is not the answer i seek. Speak, and be quick with it.

Adherence to the rule of law is a knight's solemn duty.

Is your intent to live up to your name - or drag it with you through the mire?

You must not let the how of it steal your eyes away from the what.

that should be enough. =P updated^^

2007-12-24T22:36:00.000+08:00

Merry christmas everyone! and more importantly, happy birthday, God.

it's kinda my first time saying that. feels awkward. hmm... time sure fly fast when you're having fun. i've to admit, i've had my fun for 2 months. and its time to go back to school. i might not be mentally and physically ready, but i'll try.

yesterday, when i was attending church, i was.. very very awake, and listening to the pastor very closely. he said something about.. You should say 'Merry Christmas' to someone and make him happy too. if not, what's the point of wishing 'Merry Christmas' when it's a festival worth being happy?

Many people wish Merry Christmas, but they do not know what it really means. Christmas day is God's birthday. and he was the one who created life. yet, a large number of people do not know him well, and follow him. people just celebrate Christmas for the sake of celebrating, not knowing the true meaning. you think Christmas is about giving and receiving presents and sorts? No. Its about celebrating the birth of God. Yep. those out there, please please.. read a bible, know him more, and he'll guide you through life.

hmm yeah. i think thats all i can remember>.> poor memory-.-'' oh well.. haha..

well. i guess thats it for now. sorry i didn't get a meant-for-christmas blogskin. i didn't have the time. was busy playing>.> hmmm.. currently learning 2 pieces.. To Zanarkand(original one), and 蒲公英的约定. its very tough. i'm struggling on second page.

haha.. i guess thats really it... oh do you guys really want to know about what i went to see at hokkaido? cause my brother blogged about it. so that means i can copy! so? please reply ok.. on my tagboard. ^^ k then. good night all.. sleep early..

2007-12-22T11:58:00.000+08:00

mood: normal.

well.. had super fun yesterday, and until 5am. thats when i slept. early eh^^

ok lets see.. yesterday went to maple.. lol don't ask me why.. cause i really had no more games else to play. and i made friends in there. (learn from u de, weiling) ^^

yeah, were super lame. went to happyville, and decorated trees. sounded childish, but damn fun lol.. here's a screenshot of what we did..

shrugs. i already enlarged it. this is the biggest. the middle 1 is me. xD ok la, some might say i'm lame, like this oso fun.. lol like i care you, my interest different from you all. oh and if you didn't notice, see the snowman, its eating fire._. i told sara to do that. looks cuter on it now. ahahaha..

and after that, they logged off at 10.30pm, and i.. went to kill time.. then both of them smsed me. sometimes i wonder if both of them live in the same house._.

ok... so it was like.. 30 minutes after and my brother came home with his friends. i call them, mahjong mates. ^^ yeah we played mahjong all the way. and now i finally understood, people don't sleep if they play too much mahjong. cause, your mind would be rather concentrating on what you're doing, of course, if got jokers like luke, and howard over there making cold and perv jokes. it somehow made me drunk. ._. yes DRUNK. okay enough of these, 1 sentence. "i simply bullied them." okay lets see. at 东,南风, no one was really holding to the "banker" position. until the 西风.. i was with my neighbour qingwen, cause he's a noob. then i gave up on him. cause. he doesn't understand me._. just nice, someone didn't want to play le, so i took the place. thats when i started owning^^ first match of 西风, i got 4 doubles and gamed. then it changed banker, i won again, this time super fast. i kinda forgot what my tiles were, but i won faster than ever. ^^ i just kept bullying them. so fun.. howard was damn sian diao, and he lost money all the way. always got people win before he does. hmm.. yeah. oh wait. we only played til 北风, and didn't end yet. we started at 1? 2. 2+. play for 3 hours still haven't complete 1 full round. LOL very 'fast' hor^^ hahaa, then they all got tired, so i also went up to sleep. tsk tsk tsk. i wasn't really tired then. my mind was still thinking of mahjong tiles>.> haha but when i lied down on the bed, i slept immediately. lol.

allright.. post over. school starting already. i havent started on homework yet. gosh. ohh wait. i don't know anything^^ so leave me alone u stupid math questions._.

2007-12-19T18:57:00.000+08:00

back from japan. i'm supposed to be happy. cause i'm back to my loved ones, loved place, but. apparently, i don't. my mind tells me otherwise.. like.. i left something important behind.. very important..

current mood: snowy white

i'm feeling kinda depressed. thats not the problem. the problem is that, i don't know why i'm depressed. i just feel sad. hmm. okay, lets see. i got bullied by my family almost everywhere. you know.. 被当成笑柄..

i took a number of pictures.. not with people. just sceneries with snow. taking pictures of people are like pasting people into a beautiful background, dirtying the picture. not that i'm saying the background will be totally thrashed or anything, but.. okay, i'll just say. its not what i do.

current mood: grey

as for the photos.. if you're lucky, see my msn pictures. i'll be randomly showing them.

current mood: pure white

hmm.. don't you think this winter season suits me? lone, quiet. well, i guess those who only see me playing won't notice this. i'd love to stay there, but i want to come back too. whats this, multiple desires.. always have it.

current mood: red.

oh yeah. speaking of which. my bloody audition isn't working. anymore. forever. . . why? its because God has given up on me. i'm probably playing too much, so he decided to take 1 game away from me. or maybe i've been too mischevious a boy, vulgar? yeah, too much.

current mood: winter white

my voice.. isn't very good too.. i don't believe it if its the weather. a sudden drop in voice during April didn't seem enough for God to see, so he decided to continue the punishment. my previously highest note since September, was a middle F. now? hmmph. i'm struggling on a middle C. no, don't say its water. i've drank loads. even ate snow in japan. oh. and, it doesn't make me go lower. it's just reducing my range of notes. i might only have 7? 8 notes range in time to come.

current mood: sky blue

yeah thats.. all? no, i'm not going to post about my japan trip. scold me if you must, insult me if you will. i will not post.

Oceans apart day after day

And I slowly go insane

I hear your voice on the line

But it doesn't stop the pain

If I see you next to never

How can we say forever

Wherever you go

Whatever you do

I will be right here waiting for you

Whatever it takes

Or how my heart breaks

I will be right here waiting for you

I took for granted, all the times

That I thought would last somehow

I hear the laughter, I taste the tears

But I can't get near you now

Oh, can't you see it baby

You've got me goin' crazy

Wherever you go

Whatever you do

I will be right here waiting for you

Whatever it takes

Or how my heart breaks

I will be right here waiting for you

I wonder how we can survive

this romance

But in the end if I'm with you

I'll take the chance...

this poem means nothing. and will never mean anything.

thou shalt let there be snow

and let the wind blow.

These art all for thy my dear

They are harmless please do not fear.

Holidays passed within a blink of an eye,

all we could do was nothing but sigh

Thinking of the upcoming year,

There aren't really much to fear

Just stick to the status quo

Be friendly and caring, don't be cold

poems might be a few, but they all suck. mind not working well.

2007-12-06T02:40:00.000+08:00

okay. i misunderstood cheng chuan. i'm starting to watch "换换爱- why why love." its.. quite interesting. 2 brothers. 1 girl. who will end up with her?! lol i'm so excited to find out. yeah sorry cc. the show is nice. rainie is OK. now. BUT JAY CHOU ROCKS MORE THAN HER!! LoL

yeah and i found out. crunchyroll sucks>.> youtube better. apprently. but when u finding show, you HAVE to be very clear about your search. youtube is filled with random lame videos.

i can't believe myself. got games to play, don't wanna play. got friends then play, other than audition. can only find myself to play. but now my audition can't open.=( can't hear songs, can't own ppl in beatup >.> can't earn money, can't see my cute character~~ xD

warcraft 3. dota. only play with friend, no friend, i can't be bothered to play. go watch 换换爱!! xD.

well.. guess thats it. good night. sleep early all~

2007-12-02T14:15:00.000+08:00

Staging a Comeback

ughh.. i'm back in audition. but kinda rusty. you could just say i suck =( hmm i'm not really interested in the normal UP DOWN LEFT RIGHT SPACE BAR and DELETE.(chance button)

i like the beat-up!! although audition songs SUCKS to the core, i like mov mov, and hands up. its almost the hardest song i ever tried. and i'm trying to master it. just like the previous cherry filter's flying duck. its nice and rocks. they took it away from audition. maybe cause of copyright stuffs. -_-'' i still haven't gotten my 1k combo yet!! >_<

oh well. here's a screen shot i took after the battle. its.. too small to see. so i shall type for u all to see.

Order User Grade Internet

Ranking Information EXP Combo Perfect Great Cool Bad Miss Mission Cafe

1st (F) Freedom 328060 614 311 352 101 24 18

1st Crys 198

2nd (F) Amateur 238172 180 228 334 149 56 39
2nd Potato2C 120

Music: Audition Mov Mov(107 bpm)(Time 00:00)

and yeah. those noobs who're going to call me noob cause the bpm is only 107, http://www.auditionsea.com/ go and download the game and try it yourself.

remember... BEAT-UP!

lol ok. thats all for today. haha

2007-11-28T18:08:00.000+08:00

>

its amazing. i'm alive! and in fact, had fun.

haha.. shocking, this is the best camp i've ever went to. only went 3 times. (1- church, sucks. 2- choir, last year, sucks. 3- this.)

lets start from the first day.

day 1

registration. its nothing. we just talked all the way for 1 hour.

Ice breakers. its not like the basic ice breaker. its not like we don't know each other. its. a game that if u get caught or smth. you introduce urself.

Crocodile river. not really a game that i like, but it still is nice. u stand on benches.. then change places. shouting screaming all allowed. oh. crocodile river. i remembered something. when we started. people were looking at a centipede on the floor. so i screamed( in a way "screamed") "AHH CROCODILE!!" pointing to the centpede. xp

rehearsal. yawnz. do i have to elaborate on this? sigh. skip~

lunch! weeeeeeeeeee. the food sucked. but we're all hungry. so we ate it. lol i finished second^^ although it didn't really matter much, but we have extra time to do what we want to do after eating. its 1 hour. we finish within 30 minutes or so.

rehearsal. go and die-.-

code breaker. THIS GAME!!!!!! the stupidest game ever. LOL you see. we have 5 groups. i shall say them now.
group 1
Boh Yi(leader)
Adora[she's a short girl LOL=)]
Syafiqah
Wei zi
Janisha
Li kiong
group 2
Cheng Chuan(leader)[he's really responsible, suddenly, even though when meiqi is in his group.]
Hwee Joo
You Yue[this guy suddenly damn blur blur, then extra, like li kiong-.-]
Mei Qi
Katrina
Tze Rae group 3
Sylvie(leader)
Ni Ta[the only guy, apparently.]
Edelweiss
Rinelle
Elizabeth
Gabriella
group 4
Ophelia(leader)
Eileen
Calvin[you better sing out loud-.-]
Zack
Tan Ying
Ying Thong[didn't come]
group 5
Beverly(leader)
Joshua[apparently, the only guy too.]
Vivian[she's a short girl. LOL! a bit random yeah?]
Sabryna
Zulsyafiq[pork didn't come.]
Chuan Ying
Sripriya

yeah those. ok. so. we all had different starting clues. our first clue. the questions were hard. so i didn't do. i just guessed the next location out. you see. D_ _ _ _ - S_ _ _ _ _ O. any idiot can find out that its dance studio. so i left all questions blank and went to dance studio. lol fast eh^^

then we head 4 other places which i don't really think i can remember. lol. NEXT~

Water activity. this game is lame. and i scolded the creator bastard. and joshua[senior] told me it was ms ng. -.- it was a lame game. and i didn't play much. u blindfold urself, and walk towards a pail and scoop water WITH A SPOON[for first person, and paper for the others, after first and second u can choose which to use] and put the water in a plastic bowl. it was stupid. there were people near the group plastic bowls. called the insane people. they stretch their hands and poke/touch/hit your hand, and say BYE BYE. and u drop the water on the floor. and go back. at first beverly was the insane woman blocking our bowl, then after a time out by ms ng, adora took the spot, and we couldn't, even 1 time, pour water into our bowl-.- damn she's good-.-

Obstacle Course. actually.. i think i forgot this. OH YA!! i know. lol that was stupid. u blindfold urself. (AGAIN-.-) it's uncomfortable, cause ur eyes would be squashed and be at discomfort if u tie too hard, and if u tie too loose, people say u cheat! o.O ya. as i was saying. u blindfold urself. ur group get a animal sound. my group was dog's "woof". so we were woofing around. not me. Tan Ying, Ophelia, and Eileen were. i just followed their voice. Calvin was totally quiet-.- yeah then. PART 2. we got another new sound. we were blindfolded. then adora went to people's shoulder, hitting them and say mehehehh(sheep), or nehh(horse, apparently). then we managed to find each other. cause i opened my golden mouth and "mehehehh" lol. so we were crawling blindfolded..

SHOWER! the best time EVER. cause choir LEAST boys. and a freakishly large amount of girls, girls take a long time to queue. and boys have the whole toilet to ourselves. we took like 10minutes to shower. and was singing~ lol then after that. went back to dorm( 2G- boys, 2I- committees, 2F- girls)

Dinner. just eat lor. its some kind of nasi lemak i think. i said I THINK. it had. rice, chilli, fish, chilli, ikan billis, and more chillis. the chillis were like.. pasted on top of the rice-.- so eating the chilli was inevitable. my stomach was suffering a lot after that. and joshua.. he.. ate a lot of chilli. and i think thats the reason that made him lose his voice. WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE JOSHUA LOST HIS HIGH VOICE!! WOOOOOOOT LOL, i seem to like cursing him. =x

MOVIE! it was a lame movie. called Rent. Its about. people gaying with each other, and girls lesbianing with each other. and they all have aids, if i'm not wrong. we only watched 2/3 of the show. cause the second disk couldn't be read.(pirated o.O) so skip skip skip~

Blind man's trail. nope. sry. we all protested to anymore blindfolds. so they had to cancel it. and mr chen created a dumb game. which. was too dumb for me to type it down. skip~

LIGHTS OUT. GOOD NIGHT. lol. oh ya. someone(not ni ta) bought adora a winnie the pooh bear, and I was playing with it most of the time, "babysitting" it. LOL then she lent it to cc to sleep. (i think he drooled.) o.O

day 2

sry. no rise and shine yet. my day 2 starts at 12.00midnight. we have sentry duties, ladies and gentlemen. my group do 12.00 to 1.30am. cc's group 1.30 - 3.00am. if i not wrong, 3.00-4.30 is slyvie's group. and 4.30 to 6.00 is beverly's. 6.00 to 7.30 is adora's. i don't care alr. i stayed awake for.. 3 hours. i did with cc all the way to 3am. and waited with joshua a while. oh ya.. before i did sentry. from 11pm to 12midnight, i was scribbling on the board. there was a marker, so i scribbled. it says..

默写：陈俊伟
千里之外欠我十块
我送你离开千里之外我送你投胎欠我十块
你无声黑白沉默年代你死了活该投资失败
或许不该太遥远的相爱或许不该还要借高利贷
我送你离开天涯之外我送你投胎欠我十块
你是否还在琴声何来你尸剖还在利息何来
生死难猜用一生大卸八块用一刀
去等待去顶债

yeah, so that was it. took me quite a while to remember. ok la. no sentry discussion, i skip to morning.

RISE AND SHINE! always i wake the boys-.- they all sleeping like logs/ pigs. haiz~ the girls seem to wake up earlier than us. although they were still talking at 3am.. lol.. joshua has low voice, and found out that he can't sing higher than normal. so he is not required to sing for rehearsals or amazing races.

Games. the games. i mean game. is body architecture. mr chen say 1 object. whole group must act as that object. eg. like window. everyone sleep down, in a shape of a window. like that. it was lame. seriously.

breakfast! i took egg sandwich. it tasted.. okay. but look nauseating. i finished in 15 minutes-.- 45minutes to play.

Rehearsal. boring~~

Lunch. Food. this time is nicer. and after our lunch, we went back up to do sectionals. cause we got scolded for slacking instead of singing. lol.

Rehearsal. i sang until my vouce pain sia. must know the scores. cause amazing race will have singing. like ensemble. only in your group. but most groups have more girls less boys. so boys would be weaker.

Tea and Briefing. its just our break before our "amazing" race.

Amazing race. duration: 4 hours of walking. lol. walking=) it was really tiring. 4 hours. plus rehearsals all standing. so its like 火上加热.

first station--> vivo city. roof top. find mr chen. he'll ask u to take off shoes, socks, stand in the water, hold hands, sing a song from chinese new year pieces. only had cui dong cui, and chuan deng. chuan deng i not sure, so cui dong cui. JUST when we found mr chen, group 3. the last group. (Sylvie,Edelweiss,Rinelle,Elizabeth,Gabriella) came, and saw our humiliation act. =.= singing without shoes. ewwww.. mr chen took pic of us-.- then we sing finish. then i wanted to ask.. "can i stay and see them get humiliated?" they said no. -.- no fair. nvm lor go lor..

second station --> St. James. previously a power station. now a pub. found ms ng there. and had to spell power station with our butt. -.- AND WHEN WE STARTING AGAIN, THE GROUP 3 COME AGAIN! wtf. 2 times see us get humiliated.

third station--> then we just chiong chiong chiong!! to chinatown. find Ni ta and li kiong. they were hiding. no lets say. they were standing on a place where less people can see. we eventually found them, and cleared the stage. but it took longer than the previous ones.

fourth station--> clarke quey. sit mrt go back. find mr chen. he was hiding at starbucks. our group members was looking at the paper. it wrote like this. Find Mr. Chen who is enjoying a lovely Coffee at Centre*(blah blah). it was a *, star. on the place itself, it was written as "copyright" i dunno how to make the symbol. so.. as i was saying. the star. so we just thought straight. star.. starbucks. LOL we found him there. then we have to go to some international restaurant to take picture with the waitress. i and calvin looked like humourless bodyguards, as they say-.- i hate taking photos. ok thats all. next station.

fifth station--> Hill street. walk down Hill street and turn left at stamford road. find ms ng at the National Museum of Singapore, i think thats its name. yeah. it was freaking lucky we found her. we just walked. and then i thought we were lost lol.

last station--> amk hub. we couldn't go back in time. so.. we stopped. group 3,4,5. met at ms ng's station. with mr chen. and went back to school together. me and joshua listened song until my battery went flat. (it was left with 1 bar when i started hearing the songs). lucky cc brought charger. our phones are about the same. so it works. oh ya. amk hub's challenge. as cc said. there was 2 choice. 1- RED, 2-GOLD.

1- eat 2 chillis.
2- collect 5-cent and 1-cent coins that make up to $1 i think.

both group 1 and 2 did the chilli eating 1.

the funny thing is that. hwee joo ate the chilli, too hot, so she covered her mouth(like she's crying), and ran. the girls ran too. then followed by the boys. cc was last to chase. he heard a couple, young couple, saying 幼稚！ LOL!!!

then. group 1. they arrived amk hub. cause it was adora's group, and she was there, they would definately use their brains instead of being rash. adora's group bit off the sides of the chilli. knowing that the seeds are the hot part of a chilli. then li kiong said to them. must eat finish the chilli.. adora say.. oh ok ok.. so she just gulp the whole chilli in. what a waste. she bit off the sides for nothing. LOL! damn funny.. haha..

Dinner. dinner was pizza. but i was feeling kinda uncomfortable, so i didn't eat anything. not even 1 nugget.

Night Trail. a fun game. its nice really nice. its like cluedo. u have cards which consist of weapons, character, place. every group have 1 of each. and the committees have 2 cards each. u must find them and investigate. then the one which no one has the card, is the murderer/murder scene/murder weapon. my group just got screwed up cause we cancelled wrong thing. so wrong. yeah.. then i guess thats it. adora was camp committee, so we have to catch her. but i didn't do that. i was aiming for her winnie the pooh^^ it's SO cute LOL. i mean it. =)

Debrief. this. is pushed to tomorrow. cause lack of time. night trail took over the time. there's a supper though. i went to the piano.. played played played. it somehow attracted Elizabeth. her piano.. her fingerings sucks. her timing sucks. but she plays.. okay ba.. haha then i played
露小雨's theme, or in a sense that, the name of the song is 露小雨. hwee joo hear me play rush in and ka jiao me. but i say noo shoo shoo.. i play alone =) i played through, with a lot of mistake. lack of practise haha.. and another thing is that, its 三手联弹. its normal to make mistake. =)

Shower. everyone only had 45 minutes to shower. boys just chiong in shower, cause girls might have to use the boys shower room. -_-'' lights out.

day 3

i didn't do sentry duty. totally didn't wake up. lol i heard that ophelia tried to wake cc up, but failed. katrina walked in and wake him up, failed oso.. then ms ng personally came to wake him up, and it succeeded. lol. he do sentry duty. 1.30 to 3.00am. sad. i just slept through^^ on joshua's sleeping bag. he had committee meeting. he come back, he go do sentry duty. cause meeting end at 4am. his sentry at 4.30am. then i woke up at 6am. i moved to my own sleeping bag and slept.

rise and shine. once again. i was the one who woke them up. you yue walked in, and i somehow woke up again. and i saw the time. 6.53am. wow. go back sleep. then wake up at 7.15am. i wake them up, nvr hear me, i go brush teeth myself. then come back i wake cc up, calvin up, joshua sleeping like pig. 7.30am i come back force him wake up. he go pack his baggage, and go brush teeth. he still had not much voice. and guess what. cc slept without adora's bear. lol..

breakfast. just eat sandwich. and we were discussing about last night/this morning stuffs. when katrina came to wake cc up. she siad i slept like pig-.- i didn't even wake up or move. lol. i too pro le. =) then we talk talk talk. then adora say take baggage go back com lab 1. we bring up, and i start playing piano again. then attract elizabeth and li kiong. then they kope from me go play. T_T nvm.

Area Clean-up.
group 1 take com lab 1.
group 2&5 take dorms.
group 3 take canteen.
group 4 take toilets. (it was easiest)

toilets too easy le. you know why? cause the aunties all clean alr. LOL it was sparling clean. so we check all toilets and go back com lab 1. lol fast=)

then we talking playing piano. blah blah.. then got cake come in. it was adora's birthday cake. yeah its her birthday. thats why she got a pooh bear. then it seemed to me she liked soft toys a lot >.> i went to amk hub after camp dismiss and bought her another "child". that pooh was MY brother lol. yeah so we ate the cake.. oh and.. sad thing is. she's changing school. 南华中学. she shifting house to clementi, as i heard. so might as well lor. go buy her birthday present. she told me she not going next practise on 27th december. then after i gave her the present, which was a turtle bought at amk hub mini toons. she told me she's going back on 27th dec-.- waste my time. nvm so i ask her buy me christmas present lol take advantage of her. my style^^

ok then me and cc gave her present alr we go arcade play. then hwee joo sms cc ask him go back com lab 1, adora waiting for him. then it was raining heavily. hwee joo said i could go back, but dun extra. so.. no point going. i went home from amk hub, he took taxi to school. and he didn't want to tell me what happened there. oh well~ thats his choice.

then i reached my house bus stop, i went to have lunch at roti prata shop. super nice. i ate 3 plain prata and drank curry. i mean it by drinking curry. yeah so there it is. camp life and dismissal random stuffs.

this is my longest post ever. i wrote for 2 hours. -.- no joke. but its funny remembering the stuffs that happened in the camp.. ok then. cya all til i post next time~